Seriously. I found a guy that's really sweet, treats me well, very nice, takes me out, talks to me all the time but... it's almost like he's too nice? I didn't think such a thing existed. But he's so nice to the point that I know that if we were ever to be in a relationship, I'd be the dominant one, which isn't what I want. But he's sooooo nice. Back rubs, shoulder massages, always comes to see me, calls me, texts me in the morning, ask me how my day was, tells me I'm pretty...
So... why the heck am I not attracted to the guy? He's like... the only non-jerk guy I've met in a long time and there's like next to no attraction. Why? Someone tell me why. I'm annoyed. I prayed for a guy like this and now that he's here, I feel nothing, which annoys the hell out of me.
Most Helpful Guy
Some guys are just not very dominant. Especially when pursuing a women because they don't want to scare her off. They are about pleasing her.
Recently I kind of did the same thing even though I'm a leader. I made several new female friends most are really shy introverts. I befriended them and brought several out of their shells around me. I still got everyone together like normal but when I was with them. I really did not care much what we did. I also usually did not push to hard because of them being socially shy so I let the majority rule. There were some more strong and independent women in the group with them I often held my ground on things. But still I usually did not care where we went or what we did. I was just happy hanging out with them.
With the nice guys/good guys you need to let them know that you want authority and that it is alright for them to lead you around. Also tell them that you will let them know when you don't want to be lead.
Often when were younger guys are told and know on certain terms to let the others choose to do stuff most of the time. So we do often when we do act like leaders and ask what people want to do were met with I don't know. Even know I'm still learning how much I can lead and when to let up. Sometime's I'm afraid that if I push someone to do something that they will push back. As it is many of my freinds are just flakes.
Talk with him about it and let him know that you want him to take charge. While your at it compliment him on the qualities you like in him. Like you enjoy praying with him. Encourage the qualities that you enjoy in him.
My freind who is a lot like the guy your describing is just not dominant his girl freind wears the pants in their relationship. However he still leads when he needs to but when he does not she can spread him like butter.
Good luck with your guy I'll be praying for you two.0
Most Helpful Girl
When someone is too nice, it's very easy to become suspicious (why is he so nice, no one is that nice? etc.) and therefore become unable to feel that "spark." Personally a guy that did all that for me would make me feel inadequate; I'm not overly sentimental or touchy-feely, so if I guy was that way it just wouldn't work for me. And often the idea of what we want and what we really want are two different things; women think they want the overly doting man, and then he arrives and he's too clingy and sentimental for her.
Try telling him that he doesn't have to try so hard. If that doesn't help things then don't string him along; if the spark isn't there it's never going to be, and you don't want to hurt him.0