this is why splitting just makes more sense. i dot think you paying is weird esp since he paid twice but since he paid you had no idea hed ask you so you might've chosen a cheaper place. i dont even do restaurants as dates. its just spendsig a bunxh of mioney on food hat i can just buy something from a supermarket and i don't like eating while getting to know someone. crazy in my opinion to go to an expensive place when you're not even celebrating. you're still getting to know each other so ANYTHING should be exciting. no need for frills to get thrills.
anyhow just suggest splitting next time and the next etc. thats what id do.
how much was it by the way. did it equal more than the two dates he paid for?
Haha, that's hilarious.. He had it all worked out. Nah, I'm sorry.. That was really poor on his part. If anything I'd do the opposite of what he did, first date is casual.. Cheap drinks, we'll split it.. Second date might split it again, depending how I feel.. By the third when things get a little more serious, especially if it's more expensive, I'll pay. You do have a right to be mad, I think anyone who asks you out and then expects you to pay is kidding themselves. A shame really, things like that can ruin a good date.
You get no surprises like this when you date a guy who follows the traditional rules. I have been dating my girlfriend for 15 months. This weekend, she took me out to dinner and paid for it as a thank you for my help with a project she had. It was the first time that she ever paid for anything on a date.
That's a dick move. For one isn't it more appropriate for the person initiating the date to pay. That's pretty pathetic that he initiates a date at an expensive restaurant and leaves you with the bill. I wouldn't bother with a 4th if I were you.
Don't know about being mad but you should say something to him about it. Doesn't show good character on his part so might want to move on. I always split the bill, never would go out with a girl that wasn't willing to pay for herself.
Exactly why stupid men need to stop paying or "insisting" to pay, dint be insecured about your "manliness" (you dont have any if you get insecured about it). Always split the bill and nwver insist to pay and encourage women like asker
That's odd and certainly rude. You hadn't agreed to take turns paying (although that's a reasonable arrangement if it suits you both). If he doesn't offer immediately to pick up the tab at the next date or he picks coffee only to be cheap - I'd say that's a red flag for sure.
OTOH, if you see him again and the date (he offers to pay) costs about the same as the dinner you paid for then you can lower that flag at least a little.
Okay I'm all for being square but that is some low key bullshit.
If he's only paid for drinks and coffee he shouldn't invite you to a restaurant - a fancy restaurant - and then spring it on you when the meal is done that he wants you to pay. That's hardly square and it seems like he just wanted a free meal.
You two should have split if the meal costed more than the first previous two dates, and then if you got drinks or coffee again, or even went to a movie, then yes you should pay for the entirety of it - but not a fancy meal when you two have been to relatively cheap dates before hand.
Funny how he pays for twice but those items were just cheap drinks and snacks but as soon as you go to fancy restaurant that cost a bit more he wants you to pay the WHOLE bill. Guy sounds kinda cheap, you are not worth spending that much on to him. I would said okay.. next date you go on you pick a fancy restaurant cause it will be his turn to pay.. if even asks you to help split the bill then right there you will know. I'm a strong believer in who ever ask who out first should pay.. that's just me.
I know it's considered polite for men to pay for dates but seriously, I think this is outdated nowadays. If he's paid for two dates I see no reason why you couldn't pay for one - I don't think you should be mad. I am a strong believer in keeping it equal and not expecting a man to pay for everything.
Red flag here, not because he asked you to pay. But because he took you to a fancy smancy restaurant that was probably knowingly pricey (more than the 2 previous dates) and expected you to pay.
I personally would have just asked to split it (that seems fair). Or maybe agree to go to a less expensive place. But from what it sounds like He was the one who insisted on this place which to me is problematic.
If you had insisted on this place, then him asking you to pay would have been fine. But I don't know about anyone else, but fancy restaurants are usually for special occasions as most people don't have the money to do that type of extravagant spending.
From my experience, if you are with a guy who goes the cheap route when he is paying but then pushes you to spend lavishly on him, RUN AWAY! He is only trying to get something out of you.
It's possible he was planning on buying the next meal. But what was wrong with going to a cheaper place? That us what gets me. Like there are plenty of nice less expensive places, like bar and grills. They typically have lots of choices at different price levels.
Maybe going forward, if you are not comfortable paying, then ask to split it. Or agree ahead of time how you are going to split the bill (ie. someone buys apps and drinks, while the other buys the main). Or maybe alternate. It just seems like a dik move to go expensive then insist you pay. Like why not go somewhere less expensive or ask to split? Nothing wrong with treating a guy to a meal. But it seems unfair you had to pay the expensive time, and he only took you out on coffee dates.
I personally never expect dates I wouldn't be comfortable paying for myself.
This has to have be some kind of intentional douche move. I fully believe in splitting and have paid for dates fully, but inviting someone somewhere expensive and then sticking them with the bill is very rude. Probably his idiotic way of "getting back" at womankind. Consider it paying to see a red flag.
Yes. I would be mad.
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