Kissing on the first date? Why is he trying to make me feel bad?

I went on a first date the other day and I had a good time, but when the guy moved in for a kiss I just didn't want to kiss yet so didn't make a move back.
Since then he said he wants to see me again but won't stop going on about how I didn't kiss him and how embarrassed he was. He even said that for our next date we WILL kiss to which I said yes if I want to. It might sound harsh but he was annoying me going on and on

Why is he being like this? It's quite off putting if I'm honest. Do you have to kiss on a first date? And why is he moaning about it!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't go out with him again-a kiss or any physical interaction is a MUTUAL agreement... it either works or it doesn't. there was nothing wrong with him TRYING to kiss you except he fucked it all up. First of all, when a woman dodges... you simply kiss her neck and make her weak in the knees and then hug her good night... that settles that shit quick and she tends to think of little else til she sees you again-pretty simple solution to her not kissing back (and I've never had a bad reaction from this but you have to do SOMETHING when they dodge the mouth kiss and this not only doesn't fail but works 10x better than if she HAD let you kiss her mouth lol)

    that said, this guy sounds dangerous-if kissing is up to him-then sex might be too, ie it sounds a little too rapey feely to me. I would avoid this man and not go out again. he doesn't understand YOUR RIGHT to say no, he acts like you owed it to him when you never do, not after any number of dates. He's a total immature ass who just gave you a HUGE red flag that at the best-he's totally selfish and only his needs/desires matter and at worst-may FORCE something on you.

    best of luck, but I'd keep fishing and let this one get away.

    • 1mo

      also to your question-it's a disordered tactic, ie a manipulation measure to GUILT YOU into a sexual behavior-in this case kissing. and it won't end there-thus why i said "red flag".

      seriously-be careful. he's already putting you down, trying to coerce you, making YOU feel bad about your boundaries-major disordered behavior.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The first couple of dates should be easy-going, slow, figuring each other out, asking a bunch of questions, etc. Leave physical intimacy out of it. You don't ever want to hand over yourself so easily. One of the worst things about relationships nowadays is that people fail to take their time. Haste can be really stupid sometimes.

    When he said we WILL kiss, it sounded like a demand and as if he wanted total control and dominance. Notice he didn't seem to care or take into consideration how you felt or how uncomfortable you were. It's all about him.

    I honestly, would not date him again. Don't ignore this red flag.


What Guys Said 1

  • He probably thinks the date was shit if he didn't kiss you and he's freaking out over it. Also, douche move being like this with you.


What Girls Said 2

  • I don't kiss on the first date even if I was digging the guy.

    He is being a bitch and really immature.

  • I don't kiss on the first date regardless of how good it was lol