Do girls date shy guys that lack confidence?

Do date find them attractive or they just want the Alpha male?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Actually I like shy guys. I feel a sense of connection and warmth with them. That includes sincerity. Big alpha males who run around swing in their dicks. Too many of them have no brains

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    • 3mo

      Nice also another positive thing about dating shy guys is that they would never hurt you physically or psicologically because our passive nature doesn't like to fight.

    • 3mo

      "Shy guys would never hurt you" that's not true. They're as capable of emotionally hurting someone as any bad guy.
      In fact, the hurt shy guys cause runs much deeper and lasts longer, because you don't expect it from them

Most Helpful Guy

  • Q: Do girls date shy guys that lack confidence?

    A: Not many and not often. Confidence is the #1 thing that MOST girls look for in a guy. Obviously there are exceptions, but as a rule, confidence is what will get you a date (or laid) and lack of confidence is what will get you rejected and/or FriendZoned.

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    • 3mo

      Why is life so cruel and unfair to some of us?

    • 3mo

      Who knows? But speaking as someone who lacked confidence in my early teens, and was picked on, excluded, etc., I will tell you this: YOU have the power to change how you are. Being confidence, at least for most people who are, is a CHOICE, even if you don't realize it. And once you realize this, you can CHOOSE confidence instead.

      Most people who are shy or unconfident are really just WAY too concerned about what other people think of them. The truth is that there are only a handful of people in your life that you need to be concerned about what they think of you: those are usually:

      - parents/immediate family
      - close friends
      - your boss
      - your teacher (s)
      - a mentor or two.

      Everyone else? FUCK 'EM! Who cares what they think?

      Once you can get to that point, you'll find that you have plenty of confidence, and magically, people will start "liking" you and making friends with you...

What Girls Said 4

  • I can't personally get into a guy who is super shy and has no confidence. It suggests that he likely is going to be co-dependent in a relationship and I'm not personally attracted to people who don't love themselves.

    Also, just because you don't date those types of guys doesn't suggest that girls only want stereotypical alpha males. It just means they don't like quiet, self-loathing guys.

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    • 3mo

      There is something about quiet "self loathing" guys that makes me want to get to know them. I always want them to see that's there's nothing to loath
      The thing with that is, it's true you can be fighting a losing battle. You have to develop some pretty thick skin when you chase a shy guy, but it can also be worth it. My boyfriend is very shy, and I'd very nearly given up by the time we actually started spending proper time together.
      It's understandable that so many girls are wary, but you could missing out in a big way. Don't run away too quickly.

      My son's dad was very much "Alpha" but he smashed my heart and my life to pieces, he isn't a bad guy. He's just all testosterone and he doesn't think.
      There's good and bad in everyone.

    • 3mo

      @Carefuloutthere To each their own, but for me I don't want to enter a relationship where I have to essentially "fix" someone. I am there to support them, sure, but I'm not a therapist and I want an equal relationship.

      Besides, I have a boyfriend already, so I'm not missing out on anything as far that goes.

  • I have always dated guys who lack confidence and are somewhat insecure. They haven't necessarily been shy, but they are noticeably lacking confidence in some areas. Although I think confidence (not arrogance) is a very attractive quality in a guy, I also find men who need a little extra loving just as attractive. As I have always struggled with confidence and insecurity, I love being able to be the girlfriend who boosts her Guy's self confidence through love and affection and reminding him how amazing he is. I feel that guys who are this way let me "mother" them and i love it. I love when a guy can admit he doesn't have to be all manly and he can let me know he isn't the most confident guy in the world

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    • 3mo

      Aww that was so sweet, you are an amazing girl! I agree with you we don't have to be always manly and strong because we are human too, and some guys like me need a strong loving girl to boost our confidence besides being with a shy guy that lacks confidence is good because we are safe, we could never hurt a fly but confident macho guys tend to be violent with everyone even their own girlfriends and wives.

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    • 3mo

      aw thank you :)

    • 3mo

      A thank you is not an answer😉 Lol

  • What do you mean by confidence? I don't mind shy guys but I wouldn't date a guy with low self esteem

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    • 3mo

      But you can boost our self-esteem by giving us love and affection, but if no girl shows interest in us of course we'll always lack confidence and feel like a piece of shit.

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    • 3mo

      Maybe accept that there's more to life than women? It's normal to feel lonely because of that but it shouldn't make you feel like a failure.

    • 3mo

      I have had girlfriends you know but i don't get a lot of girls like some guys do that is what pisses me off, i think everbody should be equal and social classes shouldn't exist.

  • It's not about wanting an "alpha" just because he's alpha
    If we find you attracive, we find you attractive... but we need to know you like us too.
    Alpha males go for/take what they want. You know where you stand with them

    Shy guys can leave a girl guessing and/or doubting herself for months. I don't think shy guys realise just how much they can affect girls' self confidence

    If she's not dating you, it's not because she doesn't find you attractive, or worth it, it's because you never made her feel like she was.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Only if they find you cute lol😅depends tho they get bored of me quick, if not they'll come to me after they get dumped by a douche😒

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  • Short answer: No.

    Long answer: Nope.

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    • 3mo

      So i guess i'm fucked because i'm a shy guy that lacks confidence and it's sad because i'm cute.

  • Honestly no. There's a few out there but most won't. Unfortunately for you as a man you're expected to put yourself out there and make a statement. To women shy guys that lack confidence= weak and weak is a huge turn off to women.

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    • 3mo

      Sometimes i wish i was dead.

    • 3mo

      I was in your position at one point and I still kind of am. I had suicidal thoughts a lot because I was this quiet introverted guy with little confidence, the key is... you have to not give a fuck. As hard as it is its the truth. Now a days anytime I approach a woman I expect to be rejected and if she does then I don't care because I know I'll find someone better.

    • 3mo

      And girls have it so easy it's incredible

  • might have less of an issue with " shy " thing and more of a problem with lack of confidence , girls expect the guy to come over and talk to them or make the first move

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    • 3mo

      Why guys have it so tough? Not all guys are brave you know? Besides why does the guys always has to make the first move? That's stupid! Both of them can do it if they're not shy, that's like saying girls can't fight of course they can, there are women in the army and some of the best snipers are women.

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