So last year I met him through a prison pen-pal website (yes, i admit i was kind of lonely at that time), and we have been writing each other for about a year now. The difference is that now I'm in the best moment of my life; i'm happier, healthier, sociable than ever and my mindset is in peace, finally. I have a developed a huge soft spot for him, he's 3 years older than me and has 2 more years in prison. He's a really good guy, and very smart and determined (he's actually taking university courses there). My question is: do you think is possible to be in an actual real relationship once he gets out? (of course not right after), do we really have a chance? or should i just keep with the flirting but without going beyond that? and what's your opinion in all this?
*we have never meet in person (we live in different states)
Yes you can actually have a great relationship with him as long as you learn about recediism. A lot of men in prisons have an exceptional heart not like those out side. Knowing how to deal with his release and after in his recidism is the key.
Keep it tame until he gets out and live your life. Meet other guys and do your thing. If when he gets out you both still want that relationship then you can see about it. But until then do not put your life on hold for him. If he asks you to then that isn't right. Also when he does get out be safe.
I think you should put your emotions to the side for a bit. Why is he in prison, when does he come out, are you genuinely growing in trust for him? When all's said and done, as someone with so much going for you you could have many options, so make an informed choice...
This is out of the scope of my expertise but have you thought that he is probably showing you only his good side? Or maybe just acting it out? I mean yes maybe after prison he is a changed man but how can you know?
I would say it's best to keep this casual, and I honestly wouldn't recommend pursuing him after he's been released. For the most part, people who sell drugs (especially at an early age) are impressionable or trying to make end's meet and are considerably harmless. But there are the select few that are hardened by it and could even be dangerous. Prison changes people, and it's usually not for the better. Do you even know what this guy looks like? I've never heard of a prison pen-pal website, but it sounds a little questionable to me. Kind of like online dating predators. If you ever do decide to meet this guy upon his release, I'd absolutely recommend you do it in a very public area with a close friend by your side. If he seems genuine and you feel that there's a connection, then you could possibly pursue it further. I honestly think you're more infatuated with the idea of him than actually romantically interested. Just be careful.
Ok like, are u being serious? He's in prison... He's a convicted felon. Once he gets out of prison that label isn't gonna go away.
He had 2 years left in prison... a lot can happen in two years. A lot. You've never even met him in person... people can be way different in person than who you were expecting when you put their picture together in your head.
You don't even live in the same state as him... have you ever been in a ldr? They're extremely difficult and I would even go as far as to say they aren't worth it. He's talking to you now but think about it. You're probably the only female in his life right now. When he gets out, that may no longer be the case, especially with the distance. Youd never know if he had cheated
You dont need to waste years of your life on someone who doesn't value it
A few things to consider: having been convicted of a felony will affect his entire life. If you are a couple, it will affect yours, too. It's unfair, but it's a fact of life. Most landlords will not rent to a convicted felon, and most employers will not hire one. So unless you already own your own home and are independently wealthy and therefore will never need him to work, you might want to re-consider. Being with a felon will haunt you and make your life incredibly difficult in so many ways. Just something to consider.