Don't know what I'm doing with my coworker?

A guy at my work has always been very flirty. The other night we got drinks with friends and he pulled me off alone and kissed me - but he has a girlfriend. His girlfriend found us talking at 3am (just talking) and dumped him right away because she overheard him saying how much he likes me. He declared he's liked me for awhile, thinks i'm amazing, etc. I worked with him soon after and we acted normal, he apologized for what happened, and when I drove him to his car he kissed me agian, we ended up kissing for a good hour and joking around.

What is he doing? I know he's attracted to me but also says he likes me. I don't know what to think or do. I wouldn't date him ever, or sleep with him, because his lifestyle is not at all what I look for in a guy, but I'm attracted to him and keep thinking about kissing him. Is it ok to just have fun?

Updates:
I'm just used to serious relationships, so hanging out with a guy just cause he's fun and I like kissing him is weird

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you aren't obeying your own boundaries and sound like you are not in control of yourself nor understand yourself. Feelings are some of the worse guides because they change. If you are right that his lifestyle doesn't match yours, at some point, when the feel good wears off those things show up and you will be annoyed by him.

    he just came off a relationship and ended it poorly and you are playing with him (not good on either account).

    You are young and allowed to make mistakes and not understand things. Why don't you tell me what is going on inside of you. Why are you caving in on someone you don't care about. I suspect you will have a hard time doing that. Does this guy remind you of your father?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's OK to just have fun!! Just make sure that he knows this is how you feel, and he's not expecting more. If both of you just want to have fun then that's awesome! I, personally would've developed feelings after that first kiss... lol. I fall in crush-like-love easily. Plus all that heavy kissing would get me in trouble girl...

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    • Well he hasn't texted me for a couple days, said he would, and now his girlfriend (ex) deleted her very angry, public facebook post about him cheating on her... Think they got back together?

    • Lol. So you're snooping on his ex's FB, waiting for his text and now you're concerned or curious that he got back with her? Sounds like me when I'm starting to catch feelings.. lol. Be careful sweetie! I think he may be desperate to get her back because he realized he messed up and is in the "beggong for forgiveness" stage and she's softening up OR her friends/family probably told her to take down the post... that was very tacky of her. I think he may be MIA because he wants her back and may have promised her to stay away from u. You'll know for sure when she puts up a post about their relationship stat.

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What Guys Said 8

  • in my opinion he was going to break up with his girlfriend anyway.

    Many guys here will call u all sorts of degrading stuff, for giving yourself sexually to a man who isn't long term material.

    I'm not, women should have their fun too! However, the risk of pregnancy is real.

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    • Well they "talked" the other day about staying together or not, and I heard she was saying she feels bad and wants to still be with him, so I'm worried they're back together? And he got my number and never texted me

    • Then maybe they are back together. :-/

  • Are you looking for an answer or for validation?

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  • Short answer is yes, it's okay to just have fun.

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    • Well he hasn't texted me for a couple days, said he would, and now his girlfriend (ex) deleted her very angry, public facebook post about him cheating on her... Think they got back together?

    • Possibly. Or she got a lot of shit from people about it.

      Question, how do you know what she posts? Are you fb stalking her? Stop that shit.

  • You're young. Have fun... someday you'll regret that you didn't

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    • Well he hasn't texted me for a couple days, said he would, and now his girlfriend (ex) deleted her very angry, public facebook post about him cheating on her... Think they got back together?

    • Maybe he did maybe he didn't, try not to stress we it. If they did a least you had a couple hot make out sessions, if they didn't you guys can pick up where your u left off. Either way not a big deal. As you said you're not really looking for anything just enjoy it while it lasts then move on.

  • Girls just wanna have fun... And so do guys. Enjoy your life!

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    • Well he hasn't texted me for a couple days, said he would, and now his girlfriend (ex) deleted her very angry, public facebook post about him cheating on her... Think they got back together?

  • Don't get involved at work!

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  • This is a common subject. People always ask questions about getting together with co-workers, or even worse, Bosses.

    This is a terrible idea.

    Why?

    Because, everyone will talk about this. No, you cannot keep it a secret. Everyone knows "who's doing who". People can see the subtle looks, body language, etc. People will talk about you, in some cases, negatively, because they know it isn't cool.

    If the 2 parties are overt in their relationship, it creates a nonprofessional environment, which can lead to difficulties with the bosses.

    If it IS a boss, then problems with the next level of management may occur. Rumors are worse. "Look who's sleeping themselves upward".. on and on.

    THEN, if the relationship fails. What then? Well, the talk gets worse. The two parties themselves may talk poorly about the other person. Rumors are started. True or false, a bad environment ensues.

    Nothing good becomes of this.

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  • Sure. YOLO doncha know?

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What Girls Said 1

  • He doesn't sound like he just wants to have fun. He left a relationship to pushes things with you.

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    • Well he hasn't texted me for a couple days, said he would, and now his girlfriend (ex) deleted her facebook post about him cheating on me... Think they got back together?

    • Possible!

      In any case I would ask him to back off until he knows what he wants. You don't want anything messy with a coworker anyway.

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