Thinking about dating a mother of two kids - need some advice?

I found a lady online (2 years older than me) who is pretty much what I've been looking for. She wants a goofy, fun guy to settle down with... Build cushion forts, go on adventures, cuddle while watching a movie. She likes all the same things I like.

The only hesitation I have is that she has two children. I've never been married and only had one relationship, so this is new territory for me... Can anyone give me advice on what its like to date someone who has kids? I'm infertile myself, so I wouldn't be able to have my own children, even though I would like to have them. We are both ready to settle down with someone to come home to.

Updates:
3mo No MGTOW rants or snide remarks about single mothers, please.
3mo The only reason I'm hesitant is the fear of not being accepted by her children.

2|1
6|5

Most Helpful Girl

  • My 'Only' Fear is that you may Decide she has this Baggage and you are Not this Ready Eddy. it happens a lot in this sort of Scenario here, dear.
    If you Choose to Take this Step, do it in Baby Steps by going Slow with your Flow. It takes Someone Special to Want to Take on Someone on with children, and you Seem to be just what she Might be Looking for. You both are Showing a Great chemistry so far. But don't Rush Right into anything. Take your Time.
    Don't worry about the Kids right now. In the int-rum of Nursing and Nurturing with her, the kids will Eventually consider that Perhaps you are Cool if you Show them how Much you Care about their Mom and Them Themselves.
    You might have to Make a Great Effort to make a Big Impact on All of their lives. Remember though, her Cubs will Always be at the Top of her Priority list, you will come Second Best from her Rest.
    Good luck. xx

    0|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Thanks. We haven't met yet, actually. I mean that from reading her profile, I was very impressed and felt like she would be a great person to get to know, since she's looking for a serious, long term relationship, same as me, and we have a ton of things in common.

    • 3mo

      Yes, in getting to Know one another First Online, you can later see that if in Person it might be even better.
      My sister married a man, her second marriage, who had 3 kids who came to stay every other weekend with them, they lived with their mom. It was a Brady Bunch moment but together they made it work as a Team. It was Rose his EX wife who was more the trouble in this happy bubble but eventually she remarried and now Bliss. xx

    • 2mo

      Thank you for the Vote of Confidence. xx

Most Helpful Guy

  • Been there done that... Twice , married both. I'm with you in the aspects of not being able to have kids , yet wanted to be a parent. If I offered any words of caution it would be to bow out if the kids have passed a certain age as regardless as to how gods you are or how hard you try you will not be well received and it will be a nightmare that awakening from doesn't make it go away if you follow.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      What age would you consider to be a cutoff?

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      Now with my second marriage she had one son , he was always mischief with ADHD , but never a real problem child. I had prior experience coming it that really helped on round 2

    • 3mo

      I got lucky and none of them were over age 8 when I came on scram so they had time to know me as stable and not a Johnny come lately guy , that really helped a lot too

What Girls Said 5

  • My advice is to be use to plans changing. It happens when people have kids so be patient and accepting when this happens.

    My other advice is be wary of people that want to introduce you to their kids early. I do not think this is a healthy thing for kids so I am always a little wary of people that do this. I do not think it shows good decision making so for me, it would be a concern if someone I was dating did this.

    But other than, it sounds like you should be dating people with kids if you are infertile but want kids. Or did you mean that you want kids just not step kids, like adoption or IVF?

    Once you are in a relationship and if you guys decide to get married/commit to LTR then the other thing I suggest is you have discussions about your role as co-parent before you make the final decision. Do you have the right to discipline the child? That kind of thing. Make sure you are comfortable with the situation before you marry/commit.

    Good luck to ya'.

    0|1
    0|0
  • the kids dont matter as far as being a legit reason to not date her. be prepared to come 2nd to her kids, but would you want to be with a mom who didn't put her ids 1st? thatd be scary. i have a kid and i've barely dated anyone but when i did, one time since i broke up with my daughters dad a yr and a half ago, i dated a guy who fully knew that my child comes first, as in i tend to her needs 1st. you sound like youd do good with kids so just play around with them, follow their lead, never be alone with them cuz it can give a bad look , as if you're a predator. and if she lets you be alone with her kids soon into things FUCKING RED FLAG!! a mom should be foaming at the mouth to protect her kids.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have 4 kids and am 41... New boyfriend has none and is 39... Two of mine are teenagers and the other two under 10. He knew when we met I had them and we're both divorced almost. After a few months he met the kids and loved them... equally they think he is fantastic! We don't all do much together as they go to their dad's frequently and we're alone together but he sometimes comes for dinner and stays over etc and is fab with them. its worked out better than I could ever imagined as he wasn't freaked by meeting them but he was definetly nervous at first as it was all new to him. give it a chance! I'm glad we did! xx

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hmm are you willing to love more than just one person? You're not only loving one person in this case but two other people as well. You need to be considerate you need to be thoughtful and patient. How old are the children?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      I don't know yet. I haven't talked to her yet. Yes, I'm willing to be a father figure.

    • 3mo

      Sorry if I gave the wrong impression... I mean that her profile is a perfect match for the kind of person I'm looking for.

    • 3mo

      You shouldn't be worried, i didn't get the wrong impression about what you said. A lot of your time and focus would be on them as well as the mother. You'd not only be a support system for the kids but for the mother as well. The more you get along with her children the better. Be patient and understanding

  • Just remember you dont just settle down with her but with her kids aswell. Reality she will always put her kids first. You will be the man in the house and that kids will look at you in someway or another so you will have to accept all 3 off them not just the girl once you are ready to do that you can settle down otherwise dont...

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • At your age finding a woman with no kids will be very difficult. It's important that you two spend a lot of time together alone then ease in to knowing the kids

    0|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Don't get his hopes up with that. A woman with kids will never see him for more than a sentient ATM.

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      most women over the age of thirty no longer have kids in the west.

    • 3mo

      @Gommers I happen to disagree. I have been married to a single mother for over 17 years now. She works as hard as I do and has not asked me for anything but be her husband and the best dad I could be. Maybe that's the mentality of girls your age

  • dont be an idiot. next this women let her date some fifty sixty year old man.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Don't do it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • run like hell man
    two kids and u never get married

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...