Guys, have you ever postponed starting something with a woman due to circumstances in your life? Waited til the moment was right?

it could be due to anything... Just where you didn't feel like you could handle a full relationship or maybe you thought you wanted the moment to be perfect for when you start taking her out, or anything along those lines.

If if you could provide opinions and reasons that would be great

  • Yes
    81% (43)
  • No
    19% (10)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll
Updates:
3mo How about before you eve hardly knew her?

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24

Most Helpful Guy

  • For either a girl or a guy, it's important to know that you'll be able to fully commit to a relationship (like a full-time job) if you're planning for the long haul. Otherwise, short-term dating or casual encounters are where it's at!

    Personally, I have had to let go of one of my longest relationships because I simply did not have enough time/attention to offer her, and it stressed her out to the point that holding on did more damage than letting go. Working full time at a lab, studying for medical school, and balancing a long-term relationship contributed to one of the most stressful episodes in our lives. No matter how much I shifted my schedule around to accommodate, she never felt like she was the most important thing in my life despite how much I reassured her. The result was heartbreak: something that we both saw coming but refused to address early on in our relationship.

    You might feel like you're missing out on something by not trying, but the responsible thing to do would be to date long-term when you have the time and resources to commit. Nobody wants to feel like your #100th priority in life, least of all your significant other.

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What Guys Said 23

  • I did when i was young, because I was stupid. I knew I wasn't in the right mental headspace to make a thing work, so i postponed. Lost my chance.

    I learned over the years, there's never a perfect time to start something. Perfection is the enemy of action.

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  • I've THOUGHT about it.

    But then I've remembered that every girl I've ever been with wanted me regardless of m circumstances and there was really nothing I could do to mess that up.

    And if she didn't want me, there was really nothing I could do to change that.

    So I just go for it.

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  • Yes I have. I also have regretted it because I waited to long. Your circumstances dictate what you can do in this case.

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  • Yes I have! I was having a hard time finding work and wasn't financially stable AND didn't always have a reliable car to drive.

    Only until recently after college, did I have both at the same time!

    I took a break from dating for several years. Without consistent income AND a reliable car to get myself around, I'm not comfortable dating.

    Now I have both! :)

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  • I was talking to a girl a few months back, she was interested in me and I was interested in her. I didn't really get much time to see her because I had to spend a few weeks out of town, but we still got in touch. When I got back she was busy with commitments of her own. By the time I finally asked her out it appeared she lost interest

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  • Yes, I hardly met my ex and she wanted us to go to coffees etc. But I knew I'm just a kid and I will blow our relationship. I've some kind of subconsiously always knew I want to be with her for the long haul. Well it didn't work out in my favour obviously but we had 3 great years.

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    • 3mo

      So you gave it a go or waited?

  • See that's the thing about getting the timing right, you delay delay delay and suddenly its too late :/

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  • the circumstances are never right for a woman. just like the circumstances are never right for a bull in a china shop. they just roll right on in there and fuck shit up. thats how they do.

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  • Yeah. I was finishing off my studies at university and I didn't have a job and money. I wouldn't be able to take her out anywhere or treat her to anything.

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    • 3mo

      So you met someone but decided not to because of those reasons?

  • I have never had a girlfriend for that reason. Every girl who has wanted a relationship with me ( ALOOT of girls) has been rejected. im not picky or anything, i just have to get my stuff right.

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  • That is something I am doing right now; so yes. I am interested in someone, but delaying expressing it owing to my current circumstances.

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  • What? It's not like I have a diary to plan it gosh op

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  • Yes, I was seeing a girl before I started my degree program (this was 4 years ago) and would hang out with her quite often; however when school started, I hardly saw her because I worked full time and went to school full time but the issue was we drifted apart and she wasn't happy with the situation so therefore started seeing someone else... I mean this stuff happens but it would of been great if she kept by my side during the tough times

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    • 3mo

      Did you try to talk to her about it or did you just let it go?

    • 3mo

      I asked her if something was wrong but she never replied to me unfortunately she started to see someone else and I remember crying when I saw a pic of her with the other guy but instead of getting angry I used it as motivation to become better, started hitting the gym, finished school and never looked back

  • Yes.

    I was not ready beforehand.

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    • 3mo

      Not ready in what way?

    • 3mo

      As a person.

      So it didn't feel like the right time before the right time.

  • Yes, it's usually due to a lack of money on my part.

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  • Nope.

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  • i want to do it right now. no real relationships until im all right in every aspect in my life

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    • 3mo

      What aspects? Even if you met an awesome woman?

    • 3mo

      a decent stable job, an apartment, and the right amount of hobbies & healthy friendships

    • 3mo

      yes, even if i met her and we have that magical connection (never happened anyway but i still hope, maybe one day) i'll say it straight that i wanna go slow. i have my stuff to do and things to accomplish before ever considering jumping into a relationship

  • I'm in a dilemma now. I'll probably do that, what will be will be.

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    • 3mo

      What's the dilemma?

  • Yes. I have, on a few occasions, foregone starting a relationship with a few women.

    Once, it was with someone who asked me out online. We had gone on a few dates but then I realized I hadn't moved on from the previous girl.

    One other time, it was someone I had a pretty good chemistry with, as far as acquaintances go. I remembered how much I had going on at the time and how it would be unwise to start something and not be able to follow through.

    All of my reasons applied to me alone. I was not ready for anything during those times. I doubt I would get those chances again when I AM ready.

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    • 3mo

      Interesting! What would make you ready to start something? Are you not now?

    • 3mo

      Ideally, I would consider myself ready if I had my shit together, e. g. a steady job, a home, some form of transportation, and finally, I am emotionally and mentally sound.

      But that's not how life works; there will always be something in the way of you having ALL your shit together. And unless you find yourself in a REALLY shitty time of your life, you shouldn't let anything stop you from starting anything.

      And then, there's the follow through, specifically the lack thereof. I'm not talking about the part where you know it's not going to work and you stop altogether. I'm talking about life happening and rains on your parade. And depending on how much you put in, and how much time passes, and how much they like you (or if they like you enough not to move on quickly); could make or break this new relationship.

      Relationships can be really hard work. If you find yourself lucky enough to be in an easy one, don't slack off or you would still lose them.

      I'm running out of char...

    • 3mo

      Am I ready for one now? I could be. There are a few new acquaintances in the past year that I would consider pursuing. I would also like to meet more people. It would be nice to meet someone through an activity/common interest so it comes naturally.

  • id say yeah

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  • Does not dating count?

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    • 3mo

      Yes... Well did you have someone you thought about dating but decided not to?

    • 3mo

      In the collage I didn't ever officially date someone i liked and talked to a lot from my ski team because of degree deadlines! Then I dropped the sport for the same reason! Also I turned down a date from a girl who I slept with because I was up against a big assignment deadline and stressed beyond reason!
      Now it's that I'm not doing much towards meeting women in the first place
      ie I took up spinning and stopped a few weeks in, started online dating and still haven't finished filling out my profile, signed up for speed dating and missed it for a developers meetup, thought about dance classes but that hasn't got passed thought about that's partly hesitation but normally it just takes a bit of extra time to plan to deal with that! I wish I could just stop time to sleep and add in 7 more productive to semi productive hours a day!

  • Yes, and it fell through and we never ended up dating. It was shit timing on my part. Its different for everyone, if you feel that your chance will still be there after said circumstances have passed then it would be safe to wait. But if you feel that its a now or never situation, go for it now, whats another iron in the fire? There's never a right moment for anything, just the most opportune one.

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    • 3mo

      What made it shit timing?

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