Can u choose whom to love? Or the heart wants what it wants?

For example Arrange marriage supporters say: "love comes after marriage". Which means that after u get married to a stranger, u basically choose to love them and by time u actually fall in love. Is that true?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • We do choose who we love but there are some cases when we actually fall in love with somebody who we do not choose to love. The heart wanting what it wants is only partly true. I believe that having emotions for somebody is far more complicated than love at first sight. I think someone falls in love because they feel that the other person will be another part of them that they don't want to give up on.

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    • 3mo

      Well said and i definitely agree

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    • 3mo

      Yes i definitely understand. There are many bad guys and u should be very careful Dana. I don't want a guy to take advantage of you. Ur very sweet and kind and genuine.. Very rare characteristics these days.

    • 3mo

      Thank you :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • People can choose who they want to love. However, everyone has different levels of tolerance of who they can fall with. What this means is the more physically attractive the easier it is to fall in love with the person.

    And sadly when people are at the peak of their beauty, they have low level of patience to want to take them time to warm up to a person and look beyond the physical and form a connection. People in their youth want instant gratification of wanting to bed the person or have strong desire for it.

    As you get older your tolerance builds up and you are less superficial. You give people a chance to warm up to them and see if you can love them. Personality becomes more important.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You have the choice.

    By that I mean when you first get the feeling of liking someone you have the choice to continue with it or not.

    If you continue with it, then there is a chance you would fall in love.. so you chose to love that person.

    If you decided to end it before it turns into love, you chose to not love that person.

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    • 3mo

      as for arranged marriage, yeah love do comes after marriage
      ANd lol they don't get married to a complete stranger. They discuss their interests, common values, and so on before saying yes to marriage.

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    • 3mo

      not always the case but yeah some couple do fall in love in the engagement period

    • 3mo

      🙊🙊🙊🙊

  • The heart wants what it wants

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  • The heart wants what it wants

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What Guys Said 1

  • They dont actually choose to love each other. They give each other a try, both naturally wanting to have a good relationship, then they make the effort into making it special, then they get intimate, then they fall in love and they just live their lives. In some ways its more complicated (and unfair), but in others I can't help but admire these people.

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