For example Arrange marriage supporters say: "love comes after marriage". Which means that after u get married to a stranger, u basically choose to love them and by time u actually fall in love. Is that true?
Most Helpful Girl
We do choose who we love but there are some cases when we actually fall in love with somebody who we do not choose to love. The heart wanting what it wants is only partly true. I believe that having emotions for somebody is far more complicated than love at first sight. I think someone falls in love because they feel that the other person will be another part of them that they don't want to give up on.2
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Most Helpful Guy
People can choose who they want to love. However, everyone has different levels of tolerance of who they can fall with. What this means is the more physically attractive the easier it is to fall in love with the person.
And sadly when people are at the peak of their beauty, they have low level of patience to want to take them time to warm up to a person and look beyond the physical and form a connection. People in their youth want instant gratification of wanting to bed the person or have strong desire for it.
As you get older your tolerance builds up and you are less superficial. You give people a chance to warm up to them and see if you can love them. Personality becomes more important.