How do I start talking to a girls?

I'm 19 and have never been with, or gone out with a girl. I'm going into University in a couple of weeks and I want to have a girlfriend. I'm not desperate to have sex or anything, I just want a relationship but I have no idea how to talk to or approach girls. I'm fairly good looking, 6ft, in pretty good shape but i'm extremely shy. I just don't know what to say or how to start talking to girls I've just met because i have never done it before. There was a girl in my history class last year who I never spoke to who i thought looked cute and seemed sweet, she is also going to the same University i'm going to, but i have no idea how to start talking to her (I do have her on my facebook) if I were to run into her at Uni I wouldn't know what to say. I see all my friends sleeping with loads of girls and I don't want that, I just want a relationship, but I just don't know what to say.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok I got chu bro!!!
    1 you wanna aim for friendship first... every guy prob came at her with 1000 ways to get into her panties game.. You wanna be different!! Be a gentleman and show you wanna get to know her...
    2 Once friends go out a lot!! You wanna get use to hanging out so it will be a normal thing.. BUT U DONT WANNA GET THROWN INTO THE FRIEND-ZONE... o. o so throw off hints.. you like her.. "friendly flirt"
    3 After talking for awhile getting to know her... go for it.. 50 50 either she liked who you are or she didn't o. o just be you.. all you can do...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright Chris, lets do this! As a real estate agent, communication is the key to my business. Being i talk to people everyday via text, phone or e-mail... i can tell you that i could not do this job at 20... and why is that? Being able to approach people and talk to them did not happen over night but over a time period of practice.

    So how do we transition from shy to being able to be comfortable approaching and talking to women? It starts with being able to relate to people. Rather than focusing on approaching the "cute" girl you'd like to talk to, i'd first by simply starting to talk to men and women of all sorts with the intent of good conversation and friendship.
    - why? The same "get to know you" language you use with these everyday interactions is the same language you will use with a potential mate. Of course it will change a bit when you are approaching with the intent of dating but nevertheless, that comes later.

    The better you get to know and understand women (through friendships) the better you will be able to relate with them.

    So grow your sphere of influence // circle of friends and keep making connections with people, this will only allow you to flex your personable side and eventually leading you to being more comfortable with talking to women.

    @theccanyon

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you are about to go to university, do not get in a relationship. Just focus on school!

    Still...
    If you really want a relationship, just make sure that she knows that you are interested. If you have any classes together, or even remotely related majors, you can ask for her number so that you two can study. (Smart, right?) Then maybe start texting her a little more often and not about school. Learn about her. Start out as a friend, and slowly become "more than a friend". All of this can be done virtually, so you won't actually have to talk to her. But, I recommend trying to become more open, by joining clubs, teams, running for student government, etc., (All of these things also look good on a resume) because you may want to get over your shyness when you finally want to ask her out. DO NOT ASK HER OUT IN A TEXT. That is something a 5th grader would do. By then with your gained experience with people, you should be able to man up, and ask her. Good luck!

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    • 3mo

      When you say don't ask her out through text, does that apply to asking her out on a date?

    • 3mo

      Yes. Asking big questions (Will you go out with me, be my girlfriend, marry me, etc.) in person shows that you care enough to be open and go out of your comfort zone to tell this girl how you feel. This has an even better effect if she knows that you are shy. If she rejects you though, it might be worse than if you just hid behind your phone and cried. Double-edged sword, my friend. Good luck with your love life and your studies!

  • You talk them in the exact same way you would talk to a beloved friend. Women are not aliens.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Talk with her with the intention of being friends first! Just message her and be like "Oh you're going to x University? I'm going there too lol" Don't overthink it, you just need some message to open the door to communication. If you guys get along then you stay in touch and meet up on campus when school starts! It makes everything less stressful if you feel you don't have the suave to jump right into dating.

    In some cases you'll feel a sexual tension that lets you flirt your way into something more than friendship. However don't get yourself down if there's no sexual tension and the friendship pathway doesn't evolve into something more. In any case, meeting new friends is a great way to make connections and meet even more people (some of which you may also take a liking to). Building that social network is an important first part of university!

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  • Join a club or get involved with some social group activity or something on campus. Take small steps at a time. It takes time building up your confidence, something that is not only important if you want to have a chance at ever being in a relationship but as well as your future career and getting hired.

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  • You can say anything, they won't bite you. Just relax and say something, something about what's going on at the place you are, something about what you like, ask a normal question that demands an answer, then keep talking. Just use the situations in your favor.

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  • Just treat them like you would a guy, except not as much foul humour. Also, don't start talking to girls with the hidden motive of getting in a relationship. Just make friendships.

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  • Be suuuper nice, pretty chill, and extremely funny.

    But it depends on the girl. Most girls want:
    Sweetness,
    Strength,
    Humor,
    Intelligence.

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  • Oh boy... another one that needs Rollo in a bad way. Read the first two years blogs here, then get back to us: www.therationalmale.com

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  • I really like what That-guy said if u haven't seen what he's said yet. Do what he's saying and you'll definitely gain experience PLUS confidence which you will need. You'll be able to get many hot girls in no time.

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  • Open your mouth

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  • What is the minimum thing a girl needed to do for you to realise she is interested in you?

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  • Confidence
    Self confidence and pay attention to them

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