Distanced myself too much?

so i'm going on dates with this girl, felt a strong attraction for the after our last date so i tell her next day that i miss her, and she says in so many words to 'back off'.

and i think i've been too successful suppressing my feelings for her because now it's almost completely gone.

i told her about my feelings Monday, this is Thursday, and we have another date coming up this weekend.

i know when i see her i'm not going to be as enthusiastic as i would have been on Monday, and probably not even much as i was our previous date.

is this something that happens to others often?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Not really. But she probably feels the same since she said to back off

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm a bit confused by your question as it seems all backwards to me.

    >> so i tell her next day that i miss her, and she says in so many words to 'back off'.

    This is where I think you went a bit wrong. It's a bit too strong of an expression to me to say "I miss you" so soon (I'm assuming this is rather soonish and you two aren't an item yet).

    For me it's generally better if you avoid sentimental expressions and overtly romantic gestures until you two are more of an item. Until then it has often worked out much better, at least for me, to keep it easy-going and fun.

    I actually went by the rule that I'm never the first to express things like that to a girl. It's because I'm the one generally pursuing her, my interest in her is rather implicitly obvious, and I'm the one trying to charm her and lead her around on dates. And for me dating is all about kind of lowering her guard, charming her, getting into intimate conversations with her, and working towards more physical and sexual advances.

    It's like if we kiss passionately and maybe even have sex and the girl tells me she misses me the next day, that's when I might start telling her I miss her too. Until then I'm reserved about showing too much eagerness because it's usually a turn-off until the girl is feeling very much the same way.

    Since you still have a date with her I'd try to move it back to easy and light and then work your way towards more implicit kind of physical and sexual advances when she's responding really well to you, provided you're still interested.

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