Could I get in trouble for telling a guy to back off or else?

This dude is actively (and terribly) flirting with a girl who has been growing ever closer to me, and I to her. To the point where I might ask her out very soon.

I brought it up right after he left, and she said she's fully aware of his terrible flirting and also knows he's probably actually an asshole. So I'm not worried about losing her (even tho she almost seemed to encourage his flirting by offering him a dance lesson and such).

So my question is: could I get in trouble for threatening him to back off?
Was she dissapointed I didn't do that before or while he was flirting?
I felt like she was testing me and I really didn't do anything because I want her to be free to make her own choices.


0|0
2|8

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't do that.
    For one, you could get into legal trouble because you are an adult. Not only that, but you would look really insecure and territorial over someone who's not even your girlfriend. "A girl who has been growing ever closer" is not your official girlfriend therefore you don't really have a legitimate place or right to be acting like she is.

    The fact that she hasn't done something about his "terrible flirting" says something. She's letting it continue to happen which is very evident by her encouraging him with a dance lesson offer. If she really wanted him to stop, she would tell him to stop or make it clear that she doesn't want to flirt with him/doesn't view him like that. She seems shady and sneaky for that.

    Don't say anything to him. It will only make you look bad and it could lead to legitimate trouble. No, she wasn't disappointed; it honestly sounds like she's playing games and getting off on her ego by seeing you get so pissed off or she doesn't know which one of you she wants. She wasn't testing you, she was being a really tacky, attention seeking, careless person.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are jumping from saying nothing at all to threatening him? If you do anything at all, isn't there something in between?

    As far as what she expects, or testing you. If she's testing you, I hate that kind of thing. That's very close to a deal breaker for me. If it's just normal flirting, she should be able to handle that herself. Women will have very different opinions about this. But for me, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she can handle normal flirting, probably much better than I could. If it goes too far, then I might jump in.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • What has this guy done to deserve a threat? Flirted with a girl? That hardly deserves hostility. You haven't even asked her out, let alone gotten into a committed relationship with her. He's doing nothing wrong.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 7

  • >> Was she dissapointed I didn't do that before or while he was flirting?

    I doubt it. If she's the type to get disappointed here I'd question her sanity.

    It's good to step up when you two are on an exclusive date and when she's your girlfriend, but I don't think it's wise to try to interfere in that situation before you've even gone on a single date.

    Take it very easy when it comes to behaving like a boyfriend or else you might scare her off.

    >> I really didn't do anything because I want her to be free to make her own choices.

    Good move.

    Oh and ask her out soon anyway if she's showing interest in you. Just do it all casually.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Since I know from previous posts that you are new to this sort of thing, don't be too eager to act like her guy too early (and here would have been way, way, way too early). Ask her out soon and if you get her on a date, charm the hell out of it, make some moves when she seems receptive, but don't be too eager acting like you two are an item until you're really sure you are. Take it easy and stay independent.

  • Seriously? You"might" ask her out soon so you are going to tell this guy go back off?
    She doesn't belong to you pal. She's not yours. He doesn't have to listen to you and buy telling him to back off not only will he laugh in your face you'll probably only strengthen his resolve to pursue her more. And this girl is most likely flirting with him because YOU haven't asked her out, and she's assuming since you haven't pulled the trigger you aren't interested.

    0|1
    0|0
  • dont know who you may get in trouble with except the girl... you haven't put a ring on her finger so she will just think you are a thug... way to go if you want to push her into his arms.
    just get on with asking her out and ignore his advances else you won't even get in the friendzone

    0|1
    0|0
  • You need to tied the knot dude... hurry up or she will date that asshole to make you jealous.

    0|1
    0|0
  • If it was me - I'd grab her and kiss her in 3 seconds - then she can figure out if she likes that or not.
    That whole stringing you along business - an insecure girl playing you off with someone else - such a trashy trick.

    0|0
    0|0
  • she's not yours man. Telling him to back off will show imsecurity on your part.

    0|1
    0|0
  • You have no right to demand he back off. He has every right to flirt with her. She's offering him dance lessons? She's as likely to be fucking him next week as you.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...