I've been dating this guy for 7 months now, when it started it was so exciting and I had so much fun being with him. It was like I was rebelling. I was cautious of him majority of the time, I really began to like him.
He flirted with girls and I didn't know about it, until I caught him in the act. That broke my trust but he got defensiv, and accused me of cheating on him with other guys. He did that a lot for the rest of the relationship. He grew more controlling and he started to check through my phone and he demanded my facebook password.
He started talking bad about my parents and how they didn't teach me anything and how he has to teach me everything, he told me I needed permission for everything and he got more aggressive physically (like he lifted my chin up harshly to intimidate and pushed me to his privates when he wanted his dick sucked). It was obsessive and I feel like he put in a lot of effort, so I didn't know if it was because he really liked me or it was selfish. He also scared and threatened me.
Anytime we argued, he said that the relationship is not progressing because i'm not putting in any effort. I try my best to contact him whenever I can, I visit him even on the days I have before work, I videochat him at night, and I try to bake him stuff. There are times when I'm not allowed to videochat or game late at night and he gets mad at me for that.
Nowadays we fight over money too. He always asks me to buy him stuff and give him money, he and he get angry and says that I'm not there for him when I dont. I mean I bought stuff for him a few times but I need money to buy my own stuff. I brought up breaking up with him because I really disliked how he didn't even try to see my side and he always said stuff like 'oh because you didn't put in effort.. etc'. It's like he doesn't care about breaking up, so should I pull the plug? Maybe I am stupid for not realizing earlier that this relationship is going nowhere and it's unhealthy
Most Helpful Guy
There are boyfriends who are dominant in their relationships in a way that is arousing to their girlfriends,
And then there are boyfriends who are straight up messed in the head.
He's the second.
By the way 9 times out of 10 if someone is paranoid about you cheating it's an indicator that they are cheating. It's called projection.
Yes, you should leave this relationship for good because you don't want to join the club of man-haters. Not all of us are like this.1
Most Helpful Girl
You're a very smart girl, you said it yourself: "it's unhealthy". And I'm sure you're just as beautiful and you definitely deserve better. He is manipulative and controlling. These are qualities you mentioned in your post, which is clear even you see his flaws. I had an ex who was similar to this guy and I was stuck for 2 years and a half. You've only been with this guy for 7 months and speaking from experience, it'll only get worse unless you leave this relationship for good right away. He will continue to accuse you of cheating on him due to his guilty conscious from flirting behind your back, like my ex used to as well. Guys like these will only upset you and make you miserable when we deserve so much better. If you decide to break up with him (which you absolutely should), ignore his comments about you not putting effort. You are clearly way too good for him and you deserve someone who knows how to treat a girl properly. I wish you the best of luck and hope you have the courage to leave this guy, it took me a long time to & you shouldn't have to be going through this. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here :) best of luck.1