How to Stop Craving Intimacy?


I am 24 and am really craving physical and mental Intimacy...

A girl who I can be myself with, share my feelings with... Someone that makes my day brighter, someone I can support too... Someone I am close too... Someone I can cuddle and watch movies with... Someone to be sexually active with... Someone who it feels like it's just us against the world...

I have never had a girlfriend, or done anything with a girl and it really sucks... I am not sure where I went wrong... Maybe It's because I am shy? Late bloomer? Never learned how to court a girl? Don't have a dad? I'm not sure of the reason...

I really need this Intimacy and I am not getting it... I tried asking girls out to get rejected, tried online dating, tried networking, been on three dates... but nothing has worked...

I feel so alone in this world, and It doesn't look like I will get this Intimacy anytime soon... So what do I do?



Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you have many female friends or find it easy to make female friends? I think the best place to find that kind of intimacy is through first developing a meaningful friendship with a girl. My most recent relationships were 3-4 years each, and were pretty great. Both started out of meeting and becoming friends and letting the rest develop naturally. I know guys see the word "friend" and automatically think "friend zone" but that's not always the case. A girl really does appreciate a guy she can be herself around, who has genuine interest in the same things she does. Being friends first also made me feel like they respected and liked me for the person I was and not just someone they were attracted to, so they feigned interest in me just to sleep with me. Instead of asking a girl on a date who may hardly know you, try to find a way to make it a more casual hangout where you first explore the potential for friendship. Even though it's not a "date" you both will be able to tell if there's something there and with less pressure it may be easier to get to know each other. Just my thoughts. Good luck!

    • No, I don't have girl-friends in real life... I have no trouble talking to them on chat rooms and we end up being very close despite living far away...

      In real life I met this girl, and she was just being friendly but I ended up falling in love with her because I thought she liked me and that ended in heart break...

      So I do have trouble with girls, I guess I'm scared of them...

    • Show All
    • I guess the trick is finding girls who might share in your interests... I assume that the chat rooms where you meet your online female friends might be interest based forums, which would make it easier to connect and open up, since you already know you share something in common. Even if that is not the case, try to think of places to meet types of people similar to yourself in real life, and more than likely there will be women there! Also, I think that the secret to talking to girls is to talk to us the same way that youwould talk to any male friend. Be friendly and keep the topics polite of course, but don't try too much sweet or smooth talking. Be yourself, and save words or actions that may suggest your romantic interest only after an appropriate amount of time has passed. Decreasing the pressure of deciding ones romantic interest too soon could help break down the barrier so to speak, with people who may be a little more hesitant or cautious... Maybe even for yourself ha

    • Yeah I guess I still have a lot to learn... waiting to bump into a girl at Starbucks and falling in love and clicking at first sight is not happening lol

Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone craves intimacy, the best bet I can give you is just to be busy and set yourself another goal in life (ie saving up for a holiday). When you're actively doing something or working towards a goal all the time your mind focuses on the tasks at hand and you don't have that time to sit alone and wonder what if this, what if that. Not only will this stop you constantly craving intimacy, being driven and having a strong goal in life is something people find attractive so it will also help you in your pursuit of a partner.

    • I guess so... I just feel alone and unwanted... Often I wish I could do a lot of romantic things with someone...


What Girls Said 1

What Guys Said 1

  • What are you a female. Tf is intimacy

    • Being close to someone... someone who gets you and you don't care about anything else in the world...