Can a man REALLY be faithful to one woman?

[Billions]

one woman*

yes

no

50/50

results

Updates

+1 y

almost 250 votes. great work. thanks for voting.

[bubblly]

Yes.. if he is a one lady man.. A man can also be faithful if all his needs are being met.. From the kitchen to the bedroom.. A man won't have any reason to cheat if he has all he needs and want by his side.. Remember, a man is like a dog.. the more you pat them, the more loyal they are. He needs attention and love plus constant reassurance. Give him all that and you got one faithful loyal "dog".

[Billions]

faithful loyal "dog"

[bubblly]

in a positive way.. ddnt mean to be insulting.

[Billions]

you said "man is like dog" what is positive about that?

[bubblly]

They both like attention n constant reassurance.. if u treat ur dog well, it will never leave.. it will protect you from danger wen it can.. The same applies to men.. anyway, i ddnt mean it literally..

[Triss]

Maybe you taught this from your experience. You think your man is a "dog" but actually females who think that males are like dogs , deserve a dog not a male
As for me I never considered my man as a dog but like something very precious

[bubblly]

was jst saying.. nt tht they r the same

[Triss]

Nah they're not the same
There are males who are literally like dogs like for eg pedos. But if we talk in general a human being cannot be considered as a dog

[bubblly]

I thnk u dnt undrstnd me. i was only relating and comparing their behaviours. I ddnt mean they are the same cz they aren't

[Triss]

Lol and I was talking about comparing but comparing a human with a dog is wrong
I know you didn't mean it literally but if anyone would read this , ANYONE, would think that you said males are dogs

[CreativeMumble]

Of course.
The same goes as for women.

However, if you haven't found the truly one, at the right time in your life, then it starts to become more difficult to stay true to your partner.

And also, some people have it easier being faithful than others.

[JaDaishaBr]

Is this really a question? Of course! My boyfriend is madly in love with me, and only me! And he is mad for me in other ways as well. If ya know what I mean ;).

[YourName123]

Yes, if the woman makes herself available to him, not every second of every day, but most of the time. If the woman follows progressive feminist ideals, then no. It's human nature.

If you can but choose not to provide for one of my most basic needs by doing something that causes you no harm, what do you expect me to do?

[Tarvold]

Can a man do it? Yes, absolutely.

Will he? Well, that depends on the woman in question, doesn't it?

[Beautifiedgirl123]

I don't think it depends on the woman in question. If you stay faithful or cheat, it's entirely on you.

You're wife/girlfriend could be a horrible wife or girlfriend, it doesn't mean you cheat on them. If that's the case, you leave them or try to work things out. The whole "I'm not faithful cause of my girl" is a petty excuse.

[redeyemindtricks]

This question makes me sad... because it's blue.

If this exact same question were pink, it would not make me sad. But... uh... introspection much? lol

[Tarvold]

@redeyemindtricks Yeah. It is a little, but he's still young so there's still hope.

[Tarvold]

@Beautifiedgirl123 Nope.

Let's put away that PC, romcom fairytail bullshit, and keep it real here. Is it a shitty thing for men to cheat? Yes, of course it is. Is it only men that cheat? No, it isn't.

Here's the thing. Regardless of gender, just because you've made vows and commitments to each other doesn't mean that the work in the relationship is magically done for the rest of your life. When you make someone promise you exclusive rights to their sexuality, you are taking on the responsibilities of satisfying ALL of their sexual needs. This doesn't just include the things that happen inside the metaphorical bedroom. It includes keeping yourself attractive for the benefit of your partner. It includes keeping peace inside the home (or strategically sexual tensions, whatever your kink may be), to keep the passions alive.

Just as women cheat when men drop the ball in keeping up with his wife's passions and desires for adventure/spontaneity, women too often drop the ball in keeping

[Tarvold]

... keeping the flame alive for their man.

Let's put it bluntly. It doesn't matter how many years you're married, how many kids you have and how strongly he felt about you at the start - if a woman insists on picking fights every night over petty shit, spends all his money on things he doesn't care about, emasculates him and compares him with only the best parts of all her gf's men, never seduces him, never takes initiative to do something sexy like book a weekend away or get some lingerie, fucks only on special occasions, only in missionary, and only with the lights off... then she has effectively pushed the man to a breaking point where he any temptation will be irresistible.

Let's be clear. This shit swings both ways, and when women are stuck with men who aren't taking care of their needs, I am entirely sympathetic to their biological desires. But in any case, the point is that we need to accept reality for what it is, and not some fantasy hollywood has pulled out of it's ass.

[YourName123]

@Beautifiedgirl123 , i disagree a but. Turn the table.

Can a women REALLY not end up divorcing you?

Yes, but if you refuse to get a job or share in child rearing duties or are an alcoholic who beats her, you are the reason she divorced you

[redeyemindtricks]

@YourName123 Those would all be perfectly good reasons for divorce... so, what point are you trying to make?

If that is yr analogy, then it seems like you're saying that @Tarvold has a VALID argument. (Which he does.)

[Beautifiedgirl123]

My whole point was if they're not satisfying you then you can walk away regardless of gender. Nothing is keeping you in that relationship. It doesn't fall in the other person even if they don't live up to what they're supposed to because if they don't, you have to ability to walk away. The minute you cheat or stop being faithful then it falls on you. It's simple, if you aren't getting what you want in that relationship then why stay, or why cheat... just walk away.

It's not a fairytale, out of all the people in the world I would know that that shit doesn't exist. The fact that you assumed I live or believe in that shit is where your whole reply comes from. Anyways nice talking to you like civilised humans for once cause usually people attack ya if you think differently but hey each to their own.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Beautifiedgirl123 In principle, I agree with you. And if the situation comes to that, *AND* there's little else at stake -- like, the couple hasn't already built a life together -- then it's pretty obvious that any decent, moral human being should follow the course you laid out there.

On the other hand... when two people have built up their entire lives together, and are in the midst of trying to raise a family -- especially if they have a good working relationship and get along in every *other* salient way -- then, honestly, it's not so clear-cut anymore.

In that case, it's unconscionable to throw it all away, and, *especially*, to thrust the kids into the confusion of living between two different households -- double-especially if the kids are older.
But, at the same time... for many people, a *lifetime* of sexual frustration is just too much to bear.
I mean... back in my single days, I could literally feel my control over my life start to slip away -- and I could start feeling

[redeyemindtricks]

increasing urges to do really stupid, very possibly dangerous things -- if I went even a few WEEKS without at least a moderate amount of sexual satisfaction.
Honestly, it was bad enough that one of the reasons I started moving around the world (my first move was at age 21, to a country where I literally knew no one and didn't speak a single word of the language at first) was... to distract myself from the pure strength of that frustration. That wasn't the *only* reason, but, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a significant reason.

In that case... honestly, I really really can't say what I would do, if I was in a long-term relationship where I was slowly withering on the proverbial vine (whether from a totally unsatisfying sexual relationship, or from a lack of a sexual relationship altogether). Really can't say.
I *can* tell you that wedding vows do not contain anything that SPECIFICALLY says "I'm not going to fuck anyone else." Most vows have language about forsaking all others --

[redeyemindtricks]

and, a conversation could certainly be had about who is abandoning which commitments first here, and who's more to blame -- but the point is that human beings have human needs, and will often degenerate into literal insanity if those needs aren't satisfied.

Again... I don't know. Just don't.
Luckily -- given that I married someone who satisfies my body and soul so completely, beyond my wildest filthiest wettest dreams -- I will definitely never have to deal with the kind of situation where I would face such a gut-wrenching decision.

The issue is also complicated by the fact that SOME people ARE capable of fucking around without emotional treachery -- i. e., they could absolutely love someone to the bottom of their hearts, and yet still fuck around nonetheless -- while OTHER people absolutely could not *bear* to fuck around unless they'd already emotionally checked out of the relationship altogether. The real difficulty would arise if the relationship involved one person of each type.

[Beautifiedgirl123]

@redeyemindtricks I understand what you're saying but people tend to make something out of nothing. Kids are a lot tougher then people think. Couples stay together living through misery despite not being happy just for their children or because they've built a life together. Trust me it's a lot worse that way then just walking separate ways. My parents split when I was 7, I understand the situation really well. Especially a situation just like this although I'd rather not go on about that on the Internet.

No one says you have to live a whole lifetime of sexual frustration because no one is stopping you from finding a new partner. Maybe sometimes finding a new partner is not ideal especially with children around but if you sleep with someone or cheat or whatever while in a relationship then it's not different then doing the same thing while in relationship besides the fact that it would be considered cheating while in a relationship.

[Beautifiedgirl123]

Even if your partner isn't giving you want you need in a relationship and they might be in the wrong, why should you fall to their level and be in the wrong too. Be the better person and just walk out.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Beautifiedgirl123 I mean, look, I'm not trying to convince you of anything here... All I'm saying is that it's unwise to try to say there's a single black-and-white answer to this sort of thing for *every* couple in *every* situation.

(I mean, this whole idea of sexual exclusivity in marriage is actually a pretty new idea, because it's so much of a struggle for most people over the long haul.
Through most of the history of European courtly matrimony (= where your Aussie marriage traditions come from, and our American ones too), the job of "lover" wasn't even part of the job description of the husband or wife -- it was actually *expected* that BOTH husband AND wife would take extramarital lovers, external to raising a family and running a household together.)

All I'm trying to get you to do, here, is acknowledge that this is one of those "who do you save from the speeding train? *These* 5 people or *those* 5 people?" kinda things. No easy answer, every option sucks.

[Beautifiedgirl123]

And I understand what you're saying. The thing is we're all different people and we think differently. I personally wouldn't do that but that's my opinion, I'm not saying others have to do that. In my opinion cheating is cheating regardless of whatever you do to justify it but once again that's my opinion. It might not be cheating to you. So I think there's no point discussing this further because I believe we both have got the point and understand each other's point of view or I hope we do. Nice discussion though.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Beautifiedgirl123 No, it's definitely "cheating" -- the use of words isn't what's at issue here. The issue is whether cheating is an acceptable collateral loss if it literally means not going insane. Which, for some slice of the population, is not an exaggeration in the slightest.

It's sort of like "Would you murder to?" (protect someone, prevent treason, save someone, etc)
That ethical argument isn't about whether something is or isn't murder, either -- it's about whether murder is an ethically acceptable collateral loss.

But... yeah, we are where we are, on this one.

Also -- this is DEFINITELY an area where what people say doesn't always square with what they do.
I mean... **literally almost everyone** would answer this question the same way you're answering it -- but, still, lots of people cheat.
Which means that, REALISTICALLY, you also have to factor in the idea that... not everyone is capable of sticking to their guns, if pushed far enough and hard enough here.

[Tarvold]

@Beautifiedgirl123 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

Let's use another analogy here.

You make your husband promise you to eat dinner at home. Then, say, you stopped cooking dinner at home for him, threw away all the pots and pans and knives. This guy is now starving. He's gone days without a proper meal. Then, one day, he drives past a McDonalds, smells those fries, and finally gives in and gets a Big Mac.

Did he break his promise? Yes. Was there anything she could have done to make it easier for him not to break his promise? Yes.

What you're saying is that because the guy ate outside of home, he's an asshole and is entirely to blame for everything that's wrong in the world. What I'm saying is, if you make him eat dinner at home, then the very least you can do is put in a little effort that he doesn't starve.

After all, why marry someone if you're not willing to put in a little effort to make that person happy from time to time?

[Beautifiedgirl123]

I get what you're saying but to be honest that was horrible example. You're comparing something minor like that to something like cheating. No sane person would go around telling you to starve or get pissed because you fed yourself. However a lot of people would tell you cheating is bad.

I'm not saying that people say shit and then stick to it. I've myself have seen people say that cheating is bad and they'll never do it, only to go and the same thing themselves and cheat. My point was that as the Opinion owner stated that it depends on the woman in question or man, depends on your preference.

All I meant which I think was either taken out of context or you guys misunderstood me was the fact that you can't blame the other person if your not faithful unless they, themselves aren't faithful.

They can be a horrible partner but in a way still be faithful or still not cheat. If you were to cheat because of let's say whatever reason, then it would fall on you not them.

[Beautifiedgirl123]

I'm not saying that it makes them a good person or good partner, it might not but I didn't think it was reason enough to cheat. I'm just saying that if you cheat then it falls entirely on you. I don't think someone could say "hey I cheated because you weren't satisfying me" because as long as the other person is still faithful in the sense that they haven't cheated, you'd still look like the bad guy not them.

I don't know if that makes any more sense

[redeyemindtricks]

@Beautifiedgirl123
Here, lemme try a different angle on this.

My sex drive is through the fucking stratosphere. Let's say I marry a guy with a much more... uhmm... *muted* sex drive.

Here's my point, in uncharacteristically few words:

• If I get frustrated and go fuck someone else... yes, that's cheating.
Duh.

• If HE makes *no attempt* to fuck me a little more than he might usually want to -- THEN THAT IS ABSOLUTELY *ALSO* CHEATING, and it is ABSOLUTELY EVERY BIT AS BAD as the other kind of cheating.

Yes.

Yes it is.

End of.

[redeyemindtricks]

Or maybe "infidelity" is a better word.

BOTH of those are infidelity. BOTH of them are treason.

Equally much so.

Equally.

[Beautifiedgirl123]

Hehe let's just agree to disagree. I think it really depends on experience and perhaps our different life situations have us thinking in different ways. It's all good though. End of story.

[Tarvold]

@redeyemindtricks lol... you're right! Same message but pink/blue makes a huge difference. hahaha

[redeyemindtricks]

@Beautifiedgirl123 If you "disagree", then you are basically putting 100% of the struggle and 100% of the effort on the shoulders of the person with a stronger drive... and giving the person with a weaker drive a free pass. Fuck you, person with a libido! Yr screwed!

That's... not a formula for a good relationship.

It's the same with ANYTHING that one person wants to do more than the other. Cleaning? Sending texts while away? Talking/being "company" in general? Nights out per month?
The two should be meeting in the middle on ALL of these things.

Sex isn't any different. In fact, sex is much much more important than any of those other things.
Any situation demanding a sacrifice from just one partner, while the other partner just lies there like la la la la, is GOING to fail. Or result in misery.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Tarvold I've actually never articulated it that way before -- actually phrasing both shortcomings EXPLICITLY as "infidelity". I'm going to hang on to that one. That's a GOOD explanation. Oh fuck yeah it is.
Anyone who doesn't buy that one... big red flags all 'round.

Affirmative words are weirdly powerful. Think about, say, "fasting" vs. "not eating". The same... but, in terms of subjective impact, not the same in the slightest.

Oh that one's good. I'm keeping that one.

Feel free to steal it.

<3

[Beautifiedgirl123]

No I'm not! If I had a stronger drive then I'd walk away. I'm not at fault. I'm not putting even 100% struggle on myself or anything. I'll find someone who has the same drive as me. For me that's not a problem. Leaving might be a problem for you hence why I said we had different situations.

You don't need to throw a tantrum. This convo was going well until you acted like a bloody child attacking me. Grow up.

Like I said, if the person wasn't giving you sex "they were in the wrong too" I just said, don't be the one whose in the wrong, be the mature one. Deal with it in a proper manner. I never put the struggle on the one with the stronger drive because I clearly stated several times that the other person was in the wrong too and you chose to ignore it and only read the parts you wanted to

[redeyemindtricks]

@Beautifiedgirl123 I don't see where you wrote that even once, let alone several times. Looking back through what you wrote, all I can find is this:
"It doesn't fall in the other person even if they don't live up to what they're supposed to..."

... which is the opposite -- you're explicitly saying that a refusal to compromise ISN'T a problem, on the part of the lower-drive partner.
You wrote that.
That's what the words say.

I don't *ever* personally attack people here. I don't even do that in real life, but... especially not here, where you and I are just made of electrons.

[Beautifiedgirl123]

Quote 1:
"2h
Even if your partner isn't giving you want you need in a relationship and they might be in the wrong, why should you fall to their level and be in the wrong too."

Quote 2:
"Like I said, if the person wasn't giving you sex "they were in the wrong too" I just said, don't be the one whose in the wrong, be the mature one."

Maybe read what I wrote before saying shit

[redeyemindtricks]

@Beautifiedgirl123
Okay, I see what happened -- in quote 1, I took the word "and" super literally, and thought you meant 2 different things. (= I thought "your partner isn't giving you want you need in a relationship" and "they might be in the wrong" were separate.)
My bad.

[Quote 2 is what you just wrote now (along with saying "I said this earlier"), so that can't count as an example.]

In any case, I believe what's been said on both sides here is about all that can be said. 'Night

[Beautifiedgirl123]

I think in some points we're agreeing but wording it a lot differently and therefore it's not coming across clearly to one another. On the other hand there are obvious things we disagree with and that's fine. No two people think the exact same. All good, let's not make a drama out of this and end it on a good note. Take care.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Beautifiedgirl123 You too xx

[redeyemindtricks]

... and thanks for concluding with tact <3

[Beautifiedgirl123]

If only all conversations ended like this... or at least all conflicting convos 😂😂😂

Good convo though 💚

[Billions]

@Beautifiedgirl123 @redeyemindtricks
congrats girls`

[redeyemindtricks]

@billions LOL
img.picturequotes.com/.../...n-bitches-quote-1.jpg

well, at least **I** can be a bitch, anyway <3 <3

[Beautifiedgirl123]

Ahaha 😂😂

I usually do say that "I'm a bitch to bitches"

Round of applause to us 👏🏻👏🏻

[Billions]

@redeyemindtricks @Beautifiedgirl123 you guys are cool if you are bitches then I am a mitch.

[JustMe-93]

No... you work on the relationship or you leave.

I don't understand people who say oh but he doesn't do this/she doesn't provide that... It's sooooo simple!! fix it or leave!

[Anonymous]

They can. But only a few men are WILLING to resist temptation.

[FinnishBeautyGirl]

Touche

[OlderAndWiser]

I have done it for 42 years.

[crazy_eyes]

Of course. Unless you count the checking out other girls as cheating. But checking out is just checking out and at the end of the day he didn't really do anything worrisome.

[fauchelevent]

Funnily enough, men are also people and are usually capable of decency :P

[Hateguysplay1]

Lol. True that

[Jxpxtxr]

Unless he lacks self control or is actually polyamorous (which is actually pretty rare), yes.

[DandelionGirl]

Of course! If he loves her he only sees her and no one else. I dated someone like that. It's really not that difficult.

[DodgersGM]

Obviously it's possible, yes. It requires making wise choices (i. e. doing one's best to choose a compatible partner) and lots of work (the work is sooooooooooooooooooo worth it, and even fun with the right woman) to make it happen.

[AriadneSky]

of course its volitional. just like he can choose to 'not' eat bacon or smoke or drink or engage in sex... whether he wants and is willing to is another matter,

[CisScum]

I mean what is ur idea of faithful? Not cheating then obviously men can easily be faithful with one woman if it's the girl they love. You always sacrifices things for the one you love and being a fuck boy is one of them. So uhh ya.

[BiscuitesSwag]

Yes, if he wants to commit he can, we are able to overcome our animalistic instincts.

[BackAgain]

I would hope so because one day I might get married but id say 50/50 because I don't personally know any fully faithful husbands... except maybe a few acquaintances but I'm not 100% sure

[Afro-dite9]

If he really cared about her and their relationship, than he would resist temptation and stay faithful... period.

[anonman32]

There should not be temptation in the first place really.

[Afro-dite9]

This tho^^^ @anonman32 😮😻 lol me and you are getting married! Welcome to the dark side😂

[anonman32]

Lol ok cool.

[Amanda2]

Yes, but the guy has to want commitment and choose to be faithful. I have a lot of male friends that are only with one girl

[amarahorrorstory]

Of course, sex plays no part but I do think a lot of people have trouble committing. Not that they'll cheat but can't stay together.

[gaurav83]

only if the one and only (first) women would turn out to be a serial killer and murder him after sex. jk :)

[lakewood6]

What's the point to a relationship if you can't overcome temptations?

[Gommers]

Want me to give you the phone numbers of the exes that have cheated on me so you can ask them that question?

[lakewood6]

I'd be glad to.

[confusedgirl239]

Yes. Being faithful is a choice. Men and women are capable of making choices to be faithful.

[Bmxgirl]

My father is happily married for almost 25 years so I yes, man can be faithful to one woman

[blessed_curse]

Yeah why not. By faithful I don't expect 'not being attracted to other women for the rest of their life" because it is purely natural for women and men to feel attracted to other people

[Kaylyne]

I do sincerely hope so, as am marrying one this coming Saturday.