Why do men ask you out but don't follow through?

This happens to me 6 times in the row now, 6 different guys have asked me out on dates, will go as far as asking me what I'd like to do, and exact date and time I would be available , but doesn't confirm either the date location or the time so the date fall through. Why do guys keep asking me out, have me say yes to the date, and then fade off on me like that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some might ask for the sake of asking, not really expecting the answer to be yes and so they may not have planned that far ahead.

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    • 3mo

      This. I made that mistake once. Never again.

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    • 3mo

      @ikissedtheskyonce Not sure if this is "better", it's an explanation.

      I called a gal to ask her out and didn't think I would get a "yes" since she said "I'm a little caught off guard.." She said yes and I said I would call her back after I checked my schedule. I did call and left a vm. I never got a call from her. I moved on.

      Lesson learned: "ask like the gal is going to say yes."

    • 3mo

      @AlwaysBelieving Perhaps as a general rule it would help to think at least two steps ahead. Personally, I haven't been doing that but after hearing what happened to you I'll definitely reconsider and plan ahead more often.

Most Helpful Girl

  • they are in the moment when the date is set up. They psych themselves out by the time the date rolls around and completely flake.

    Or forget they asked someone else out

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What Guys Said 3

  • Hmm, it's one of those things - maybe they were half sure, then asked you - then during your response they started wondering even more and just bailed?
    You'd have an idea why this is - describe more context for a closer reply...

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    • 3mo

      Well it happened with two 1st date requests... one guy set a location and date, but didn't set a time. the other guy set a date and time, but not the location. And it happened with 4 other guys on their 2nd and 3rd date request... one suggested a 2nd date, came up with an idea of stuff to do, and asked me when I am available, and asked for my phone number, but then doesn't follow through. The other 3 guys were asking for 3rd/4th dates, they said they had a good time and asked if I'd like to see him again, I said yes, and then they never contact again... one of them said "no pressure" after I told him yes to another date and then don't follow through on what we discussed.
      It almost feel as if they asked me out to get an yes as ego stroke... can men be that evil?

    • 3mo

      @WWLifeBegin Erm, not that evil, but yes in need of an ego stroke - after which they could realise they're happy as they are.
      It's a very strange thing - the society promotes dating as a score keeping game, not as an in-built human need - so you go and ask for a date - and then realise the expectations this builds on you are larger than the pleasure you get out of it. I would think this is why they abandoned that effort.
      It must suck for you - but then you can be sure these weren't the types of fellas you were going to have a relationship with anyway - and maybe you yourself are not quite ready for one yet (just speculating here, ok)?
      How good looking are you - would getting a date out of you be considered a 'victory'?

  • do you maintain contact with them?

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  • Lol I literally do this all the time. I like the challenge of a cold approach and number.

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