When a guy tells you his ex tried to contact him- is that a good or bad thing?

I thought it was weird and he got snappy when I asked if he was over her. (Because he already told me he was over her awhile back)

My friend told me "the fact that he trusted telling you that meant he was over her. If he was still into his ex, he wouldn't have told you".

What do you think?

  • Good
    42% (5)44% (12)44% (17)Vote
  • Bad
    33% (4)15% (4)21% (8)Vote
  • Depends (explain?)
    25% (3)41% (11)35% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Overall, by just what you’ve posted, I believe it was a good thing. He trusted you enough and was confident enough in your relationship to confide in you that his ex attempted to contact him, and him getting snappy with you when you asked him again if he was over her, could just be because he felt perhaps offended you would even ask that question after he’s already trusting you enough to tell you what his ex did, and instead of you being happy he’s not keeping secrets from you----you question his motives----and if he’s the type, questioning his honor and his loyalty to you.

    I’d suggest in the future give him the benefit of the doubt and take him at his word. Unless of course, he begins to behave in a manner that makes you doubt his motivations or sincerity. If that beings to occur then trust your instincts about whether or not he’s being completely honest and upfront with you, but barring such an event, you should cherish you’re with someone who is that trusting of you and your relationship to him to not keep anything from you, because he feels you can handle the information. Don’t reward such loyalty and honesty with negative reinforcement, but encourage such behavior to continue in the future between the two of you. That’s my bottom line.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This could be a good or bad thing and just don't expect anything from him. I started dating a guy, who wasn't over his ex (I should have just left it and not pursued him) and he told me how he had talked to his ex. I wasn't thrilled, but I was happy he was truthful. Turns out he had confused feelings and left me in the dark. A bad sign will be if one day he is over her, the other he is unsure. Definitely trust your gut instinct.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Hey got snappy. Not good. Dont care if he told you before and if he did. He should said "hun I already told you I was over her. I'm just letting you know she tried to reach out to me" then give you a kiss and forget about it.

    I really don't think what your friend said is true. But that's me. I'd tell a girl I'm seeing if my ex tried to contact me.

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    • 3mo

      So if you would tell her that's a good thing right? That's what he did?

      And that all was over text... So I'm not sure if he was super snappy, he just seemed frustrated that he had to repeat himself

    • 3mo

      I don't know lol I like to lay things all on the table sort of way so I'm gonna tell her no matter what. But that maybe a good thing to some or like me something normal ya know?

      Hmmm... ok. just when someone does that usually means their hiding something ya know? You simply asked a question there is no need to get up in your face about it lol.

    • 3mo

      Yeah I could have read it wrong tho. He is normally pretty blunt. But thanks for playing the devils advocate. I feel like everyone has been getting my hopes up. It's good to get a level headed response

  • Good thing that he told you. If he hide it from you then it means he either doesn't trust you to handle it yet, or isn't over her. The fact he told you means he is over her and trusts that you can handle the situation

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  • Telling you is perfectly fine. I am a bit owrried about him getting snappy though.

    Mybe you should approach the topic once again in a day or two and tell him that it is fine for him to be honest and talk about it, but important to do so.

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    • 3mo

      He didn't get snappy.. It was more frustrated. He didn't like that he had to repeat himself to me. It kind of seemed like I didn't trust him I guess

  • If he wanted her, he wouldn't have told you. He's being honest and up front so you should be happy about that.

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  • Good that he told you. If it's frustration that you were sensing, I'd say don't worry about it. I use to get the same way when I would have to repeat myself. Then I learned that people just wanted to be sure they heard me correctly.

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  • His ex contacting him is bad but him telling you is good.

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  • That really depends. He could have just ignored his ex and said nothing about it. And by him telling you, he could be thinking about it

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    • 3mo

      Yeah that's what I thought at first too. My friend introduced a knew way of thinking about it to me. I mean I will say he's been back at home for 3 weeks- she's tried to meet up with him and he told me he ignored her. That's a good sign right?

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    • 2mo

      Lmao he keep blocking unblocking me

    • 2mo

      @Polocrew You mad bro?

  • For him to do that he respects and trusts you,

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  • if he/ she were completely over the ex and there was absolutely nothing between them then why not. my wife's ex contacted her and we ended up being good friends.

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  • Meaning you remain friends and that is it no if ands or butts about it.

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  • Him telling you the truth is good

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  • I think your friend is right

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    • 3mo

      Well, from the scenario you painted is that.

      BUT, and I have to say this: it can also be a call for attention, to show a woman that she is disregarding him, and that way, he shows her that he has other options if she doesn't bring her A game. This depends on the type of man and relationship of course, and it's probably off the table, but it was just a thought.

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    • 2mo

      @Polocrew you're seriously just straight up bullying rn lol why?

    • 2mo

      and he ain't succeeding

  • Your friend is very correct. Listen to him or her.

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  • just sounds like he's tryina make you jealous

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  • Good

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  • I think it's a good thing. He's telling sensitive information, trusting you with something you could potentially use to be a dick to him or fight him.

    If he's telling you, means he trusts you.

    Obviously, this only applies if your ex is a normal dude not playing games. If he's trying to mess with your head and make you jealous, that's a bad thing. That's a rare scenario though, so unless you're sure, asume the best. Be happy about it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Good he told you, Bad if he answered and entertained it.

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  • It's a good thing because it means he trusts you.

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