Okay so I met this guy speed dating ( he's a few years older) and we both put down yes to each other in the friend column. I did this to seem less intimidating.
Anyway the next day our matches were released and he text me that night. Since then we've text heaps and been out with each other on 5 dates. All of these dates/hangouts have lasted 3-5 hours and have ranged from dinner, dessert, drinks, walking around, and even his house to play video games. He always pays or at least offers to pay, he has held the door open for me, pulled out my chair for me to sit down at dinner, he always initiates conversation over text and is always the one to ask me out, he's picked me up and driven me 30 mins to the place he wanted to take me to dinner etc
I'm beginning to like him but have no idea where his head is because he does all this amazing things and we connect on so many levels but there's no physical intimacy? The closet thing he's done is high five me during video games and placed his two hands on my shoulders when he was standing behind me and I was sitting down, and asked me to stay over because it was super late.
He's a nerdy kind of guy ( which I like) so maybe he's shy? If so what can I do to help things along? Should I hug him, start touching his hand etc?
Or am I just being stupid and does he only like me as a friend?
No he sounds like he's super interested in you. He seems like he's a really great guy who's extremely gentlemanly. I just think he's taking his time with you and going slow because he wants to get to know you as a person before doing anything intimate or physical. A lot girls are looking for that in guy so instead of being worried I would definitely be happy, 5 dates is only 5 dates so as you continue dating maybe he feel or become more comfortable with you and start making romantic gestures. Not sex, but like hugging, kissing, or cuddling. That or he's waiting to get a signal from you that its okay to make a move..
He's just shy. I think it's really great that you are willing to help him out.
I would HIGHLY recommend you position yourself "near" him. For example sit side by side and not across from him. That way there is no physical boundary separating him and you, and it opens up the door to him placing his hand on your back etc.
Moreover look at it from his perspective. He is not touching you because in his mind he thinks "What if this girl says Eeeewww when I touch her". This is the hallmark thought of someone who is inexperienced and shy around girls. So what should you do? Caress him, touch him, let him know that you enjoy it if he returns the favour.
I'm not saying you should flat out fondle his Johnson but you can cuddle up to him for example.
I am getting the feeling maybe he is not a physical kind of guy - I would talk to him about your and his feelings plus how you move forward - It may become a relationship, it may end up being more comfortable as a friendship but it needs to be addressed.
I don't know many guys who would insist on paying for dinner for a platonic friend. Sometimes when one friend makes a lot more money they will do that, or if they are older and it's a once in a blue moon type of thing then they will treat their guest to dinner. Now some guys will pay for a girl they are interested in but I'm not paying for a girl I'm just friends with, especially one I just met, and I don't know a ton of people who would do that.
Are these actual dates, are you both 100% sure? As he stated that they are dates? If not, I think maybe you both have your wires crossed if he's carrying on speaking to you on friend terms.
However, if they have been labelled as actual 'dates' then of course, there has to be some level of attraction there on his end as there have now been 5 dates! I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt a guy would take a girl out FIVE times if he wasn't interested at all...
My advice to you would be to perhaps hint. He's older than you so may prefer to take things slowly, but I understand you want to be sure because it's a lot of time to invest if you're not sure how he feels. Let him know you're really enjoying spending time with him, subtly ask him where he thinks this is going? It doesn't have to be face to face, however you communicate best I guess.
Start putting the moves on him. Touch his leg when you stand up. Sit closer to him on the couch. If he's in a lounge chair or something, casually sit on his lap. Wipe fake food off his face. When he wins at something in a game cheer and kiss his cheek.
I feel as if he is shy but at the same time, how much is he building it up? I once went on a date with a guy, (2nd), he went to kiss me, i freaked out, ducked, then regret it all night and made sure when i saw him i sucked his face off. I think maybe you make the move or even hold his hand then slowly move in. Some people just need a push
Does he ever call your 'hangouts' dates? Because maybe you got the wrong end of the stick. Maybe he does only think of you as a friend or maybe he is just shy and doesn't want to move to fast. Invite him over for dinner and put the moves on him a little. Hold his hand at the table, flirt a little, touch his leg, just drop some hints. If he seems to stay completely indifferent then maybe he isn't that into you. In that case, you have to go straight for the kill and ask him if he thinks this is just friendship or if he wants it to go somewhere.
yea I guess baby steps is the best. touch his hand give him a hug when you greet him caress his back kiss his cheeks etc etc do those more frequently and then he ll warm up to you slowly. I am not a touchy person and that show t goes with me
Okay I'm gonna let this hangout straight. First of all you are just being stupid. Second of all he likes you a lot but he's afraid since you mentioned friend that that's how you see him. He is scared stiff to be forward, to kiss you. My slutty but ingenious self says, KISS HIM YOU IDIOT! I know enough about guys to know this guy likes you a lot. I know enough about you to know that you are nuts. If you don't kiss him I will