Girls, Would you be with an unemployed guy if you had a job and were supporting everything?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been in that position in the past and stayed because I thought it was love. It's not. I had a pet boyfriend, nothing more. We lived together, and contributed nothing. I asked him to at least straighten up the house while I went to work, and he went bananas. I guess he thought it was totally fine to have me work, pay the bills, and clean up his living-room meals, and maintain the house in all other ways. I did it because I thought he was cute. But I was also 23. Sometimes it takes a situation like that to learn a big lesson.

    In some relationships there has to be some work involved to show that one partner is contributing. If one person is out at work contributing financially, then it would be fair to have a system in place where the other partner is at home, keeping the house in order and cooking. If they can't contribute anything, then what they're doing is using the other person. When someone is using the other it means they don't respect them. No respect? That means no love.

    If you don't live together and are simply dating someone and find yourself contributing financially all the time, then it might be wise to hold off on spending money on them until you can see a pattern of effort that the other person is making to find a job or contribute to the relationship before committing further.

    I'm saying this from experience. People follow suit with how you treat them and what role you are willing to take in the relationship. If someone wants to be the pet, while the other works and it seems to be okay after a few months (bills are being paid, the floor is getting swept, etc.) the person will never learn how to contribute. If you spring on them that they need a job or need to do the housework, they will probably not like the 'change' thinking things were already fine, why do this?

    But if someone is actively looking for work and just can't seem to find anything, that's a different story. There are programs and systems in place in most countries to help people get on their feet, and if they're willing to work - eventually they will be.

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What Girls Said 27

  • I am Pretty sure my own Patience would be Wearing and Tearing after awhile, @pr3ttybr0wn.
    However, to be fair, I probably would Help him to Find a job, and if he was being Picky about these Job that he Probably should take to Sustain himself while Finding The Perfect Job... Then I think he should Probably go Looking for a new Girl in the Classifieds. He is Not going to be Working anytime Soon by Noon.
    Good luck. xx

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  • Yes, as long as he is doing *something* productive and not being lazy. There's housework, errands, cooking, and a yard to tend to. There is NOTHING wrong with a house-husband, or a stay at home dad, in my opinion. We women wanted gender equality, so being OK with the roles reversing is an acceptable part of that.

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  • No, not my thing at all. If he's educated and can get out of bed, then get to work. If he needs help finding a job, I will use my contacts but to have a job is a must in my world unless he has an allowance.

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  • I mean, I guess it depends on what reason the guy was unemployed for. Disabled and unable? Then I wouldn't mind. Just down right lazy? No chance.
    I mean, if my partner now was left without a job, I would never leave him down to that fact. But in all honesty, if I was out looking for a partner, would the fact of them being unemployed put me off? Yes.

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  • Depends. If he's not working when I first meet him the chances are very low. If he's working and lost his job after we got together, I'd be okay with that as long as he was looking for a new one.

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  • Absolutely not. I'm not okay with that at all. He has to be actively looking for a job.

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  • Nope, my parents wouldn't even approve of him.

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  • Never.
    I want someone with goals in life.

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  • IF. He is going to school, looking for a job, trying to start his own business... etc If he is trying to better himself than yes i wouldn't mind.

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  • Nope. Not unless it was an inbetween phase and he was job hunting

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  • Yes I would, as long as he contributes somehow with chores and household stuff. I would to if it was reversed.

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  • No, I believe everyone has to still be able to support themselves. When a couple marry they join accounts but that is when both earn and want to support their future children. Paying for a guy to keep himself is a disgrace, I believe. He's too lazy and needs to learn how to grow up and work for a living. Women aren't out to serve men. They're out to equal men.

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  • Depends.. is he taking advantage of me?

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  • depends if he is planing to get another job soon or not.

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  • No. He needs some kind of job.

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  • Sure, as long as he's planning to get a job at some point, there's no way I could be with someone who wants to stay unemployed forever and use me for my money.

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  • He needs to be making an effort to get one. If he is just being lazy and not worried about it, then I'd move on.

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  • Why would he be unemployed?

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  • Nope.

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  • Why would he be unemployed?

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  • Pretty much know why doesn't he have a job?

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  • I'm pretty much all for things that feel natural to our psyche. I feel like all of these modern changes to life, we are just trying to force on ourselves, and just hurting ourselves in the process. Going back too far isn't that pleasant either. But let's look at modern life with an occasional glance at our poor stressed instincts that haven't had the time necessary to adjust to our new, easy, safe, plentiful and equality driven lives. With that in mind I will say gender roles are instinctive, and so favor traditional methods. Guy is the breadwinner, girl is the homemaker. Even if you work things out the opposite way, there's a good chance that deep down you will both be unhappy and something will be eating away at you from the inside, and unless you are both a genius, the balance and equilibrium in your life will be messed up, and your family will not make as much progress, and your children may suffer emotionally.
    This is just my personal opinion. I experienced it in my own personal life and marriage. I see the signs in my own relationship, and when I finally managed to let go of my guilt a nagging sense of stupidity, and decided to switch back to the more traditional gender roles, even though it was very difficult for me to do, I experienced a happier family and better results. I didn't go to the other extreme though. I still care about educating myself. I still make good money. But I'm careful not to upset the delicate balance of nature if I can help it. But this just my opinion anyway.
    So, no. I wouldn't date a pet. I'm sure a pet guy will also have some physical or psychological issue anyway, even though he might THINK he's happy.

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  • Yeah why not, they could always get work along the way. My friend is. They were together since they were in school. He has been on many courses but unfortunately can't get any work. She has been lucky to get catering work from her course and now works full time. He's on an unemployment scheme so he gets a small amount of money but she never left him. He's a great guy and any money he does get, he saves to bring her on dates and even managed to save enough to buy her an engagement ring. They idolise each other.

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  • strange how men can accept unemployed women, but women can't do the same. Also jobs are difficult for guys after this feminism thing and it makes it really difficult for a lot of young guys to get jobs... considering how most companies what a 50/50 policy with male to female ratio... so its not like every guy is going to have a great job.

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  • Absolutely not. Tell his dumbass to get a fucking job.

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  • No. No cucks allowed.

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  • I have been. It was frustrating because he didn't respect my sense of time at all. He'd dilly dally around playing guitar and hanging out with friends and then show up late for our dates, keeping me up later than I wanted because I had to get up early.

    Also, I still was expected to cook and clean up, which he saw as "women's work" ... Although I was also buying everything.

    Needless to say, it didn't work out.

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