Who pays for the dates in your current or past relationships?

Who paid for the first date? and other dates?

There's been a lot of discussion about who should pay for dates, so I'm asking... what is the rule in your current or past relationships that you've actually been in?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I pay pretty much every time, except for once when the girl really was taking offense to my not allowing her to go dutch. I'm a gentleman so I pick up the tab, especially on a first date. But I pay very close attention to the girls who at least make the offer/effort to grab the tab or go half. It lets me know a lot about her character/personality. Generally, while I won't ever complain about paying I haven't asked a girl out for a second date if she doesn't even offer. I don't care how hot she is or how much money she comes from. I just don't like girls who are assuming or too old fashioned about things like that.

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    • 3mo

      Hmm good to know, I didn't know the first date was so critical. So far the second date has been make or break

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    • 3mo

      Oh I'm both haha, if I did have a job and college degree I'd be much more willing to split the bill. Nowadays I don't argue if he refuses to split. I use to throw my part of the cash to him even after he paid the bill (well I once put it in the guy's glove compartment on the drive home)

    • 3mo

      @BackAgain Lol... okay. It's not about the actual money here. It's about whether or not you believe that the guy is supposed to pay for you or not. Circumstances are tough sometimes. If you genuinely want to cover your costs or don't just expect it then that's what I'm talking about. It's the kind of girl who feels the guy owes it to her or that he only shows that he likes her if he is willing to spend a lot on her is the kind of girl I can't stomach. It has nothing to do with the actually dollars, everything to do with whether the girl feels entitled.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The guy I'm dating and I always went dutch until we started dating. Then we would either split or pay-and-reciprocate.

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What Guys Said 5

  • As a male, I normally do out of courtesy. If my associate, partner, friend wants to pick up the tab, I have no problem with that because it is a thank you gesture for considering them as your friend.

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  • We take turns.

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  • I am not in a relationship right now; but when I was, I was the one who paid, all the time. But that was because she was still a student and not earning, yet. If the relationship had lasted beyond her student days, I would've split the bill (though, as to how she'd have reacted to that is something purely hypothetical).

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  • guys pay, almost always.

    Make sure your guy has acts like he has a set

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  • Been on a date only once where i had to pay something. I went to the cinema and th

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    • 3mo

      The ticket thing was already closed so i just walked in a theater and saw the movie for free.

What Girls Said 15

  • My guy and I mix it up. Last time we went out, I bought. Same thing if we are staying in, sometimes he cooks, sometimes I do. If by a lot of discussion you are referring in part to my earlier post, then you know I think it's more appropriate for the guy to buy the first date. Especially assuming the guy does the asking. for strong symbolic reasoning I've posted earlier.

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  • Every first date I've been on, the guy has paid. I ALWAYS offer to pay for what I had or to split the check, but it seems like a lot of men want to cover the first date? At least that's been my experience. When your in an actual relationship, I've found that you both just kinda cover it on and off. I'll get the tab one night, he'll get it another night.

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  • I always try and make a point in paying for myself. I believe in chivalry and gentlemen. But I like being independent. x

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  • I've always had it be a mix. He pays, I pay, we both pay... never been a big deal.

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  • It's really not about the amount but rather the gesture. I just think the guy should pay first and decline my offer to pay. Not to say that I won't pay next time but just at least for the first

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    • 3mo

      The key is that you offer. I've been on many dates in college where the girl didn't even offer to pay for her part. I felt so used :/

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    • 3mo

      Lol right, every time I try to split the bill the guy refuses as if I just slapped him in the face!!

    • 3mo

      @BackAgain hahaha. Trying to smack some sense into him haha

  • The guy always pays. It's the manly thing to do and they do it because they are the provider and take care of me. Also it's the gentleman thing to dk

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    • 3mo

      I guess it depends on how you were raised. Some guys prefer women with this attitude. Some guys are turned off by it. I'm a northeastern guy, so I'm used to a self sufficient woman. It's a modern idea. Your belief is kind of old school, but I understand it. I don't mind paying or providing, I just don't like women who expect it. If this was 30-40 years ago and women couldn't work and actually relied on a man to care for them then I totally get it. But in this day and age it's not the case. You run the risk of being seen as lazy or unsophisticated.

  • I mostly did. Like he insisted paying on the first date despite me telling him I wopuld, but after that he lost his job and I paid for most dates, like 90% of them lol

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  • Years ago, I remember a guy who asked if he could take me out on a date. I accepted but I ended up paying my own way through everything. We saw a play together and had dinner. He never offered to pay at all. We didn't date very long.

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    • 3mo

      Lol I would have ended the ' date" immediately. That's not a date. That's hanging out as friends

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    • 3mo

      @Guy83 Oh you poor hurt blue. Five short sentences and I'm a spoiled, entitled female that thinks men should pay for everything. I must think he's a worthless man if he doesn't shower me in diamonds and jewels and money because that's all us gold digging women do! Couldn't possibly be that the date was lame as hell and I didn't really like him? Definitely about the money. ALWAYS about the money!

    • 3mo

      Lol, I don't know you tell me? Do you deserve diamonds and to be showered with gifts?

  • My boyfriend has pays all the time ! I've paid for coffee a few times but I've had to do it sorta quickly.. otherwise he would pay! If I tell him I want to pay the response I get is nope this one is on me.. I treat my lady. Can get annoying because with that logic I want to treat my man.

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  • Haven't been on an actual date.

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  • I do occasionally and successfully manage to "sneak pay" :P

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  • first date has always been the guy. When I start to get serious with someone we alternate

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  • Me always. My boyfriend doesn't have a job so I treat him

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  • Well our first date he paid but no either I'll pay or he will sometimes we split the bill down the middle It's cheaper that way

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  • First date he pays because so far they've refused that I do others I'm willing to split

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