Just found out a girl I have a crush on is a former cheater. Should I forget about her?

She cheated on her ex boyfriend with his best friend (well he's obviously not his friend anymore). She seems really nice and sweet and it seems like she likes me too but this makes me very skeptical and im also really dissappointed because she didn't seem like the type that would do this. If I dated her I would probably eventually get paranoid and jelous (and im not even the type who usually gets jelous) but I can't help it and I still like her. Should I move on anyway because I dont want to get hurt in the future and I dont know if I can trust her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a fear for anyone whether we know someone cheated before or not. The fact here is that you don't know what happened in their relationship to cause her to cheat. This happens even when you are married. Once two people are in an exclusive relationship, they fill a basic physical need. When that happens, they open themselves more to emotional needs. The best friend may have had time to reach her at that level which is a big attraction for women. Of course it did not last because men feel guilt and guilt from losing his best friend or causing his best friend pain, or just in realizing that he may not be able to trust this girl the way their relaship started may have played a factor in the eventual downhill spiral of this relationship. But, you are a completely different person. A new experience. Talk to her if you want to. If you find that you like her but can't trust her based on what you know, then you tried. But give her a fair chance.

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    • 2mo

      @Jupiter35

      She may have had her reasons to cheat but still cheating is a cheating and once a cheater is always a cheater. No matter what reasons she may have had for cheating but cheating is not a mistake, cheating is a choice, it's a decision.

      Just saying.

    • 2mo

      @serious
      Serial cheaters will always cheat. It's in their nature.
      This entire site is full of individuals that do not know how to break up with someone.
      There's another section of the classic "fade away" or ghosting.
      Countless others that do not know how to communicate their issues.
      This girl probably made a decision based on not wanting to hurt her boyfriend which did the opposite but that is her experience and poor judgement. That's hers to learn from. Not to be judged by.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd go with move on anyway and because of the whole trust thing. But it's ultimately on you to decide. Logically it's the best option but I do understand that it's also very hard because you are infatuated by her. You can't just completely turn those feelings and desires off, can't erase them or anything, I know what a big pain in the ass that is. If only it was possible it makes it THAT much more easier to completely move on. But the more you are able to see her in person then the more you'll be thinking about her. It will take time to forget her. But you'll have to forget about her completely so you can move on to someone else instead. Someone that is trustworthy and does not have a bad reputation.

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What Girls Said 8

  • You just going to have to be careful. Remember the general rule is that a relationship cannot last without trust. Already having doubts about this, don't jump in it. You owe her nothing. She has to be the one prove herself deserving another chance. Not the other way around.

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  • If that is how you would enter the relationship then you should not enter it a mature man would find out why he went with another guy. And she he would not classify it as cheating which in itself has a negative connotation. Why did she sleep with another guy. Under what circumstances. If you have a bad attitude all about all of this don't even start

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  • Its hard to say. I dont believe in the "once a cheater, always a cheater". I believe if they cheat, they obviously didn't love you that much. It could have happened for a reason nobody knows except for them. But I would be kinda concerned if I were you. I wouldn't move on just yet... you dont know the full story...

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  • Since it's just a crush, yeah.

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    • 3mo

      Well I can potentially date her (she seems like she likes me too, flirts with me etc.) but I dont want to be cheated on.

  • Better safe than sorry. She sounds like bad news

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  • Trust your own first instincts!

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  • When I've learned sth in the past then it's that people who have cheated once will do it again !
    Please don't make the same mistake I did, walk away as long as you still can and as long as it doesn't hurt as much !

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  • once a cheater always a cheater.
    She ever had respected her ex she just couldn't cheat on him with his friend like that.
    Of course she's nice. Because someone's a cheater doesn't mean they have shitty personality.
    She obviously doesn't know to respect her guy.
    My ex was a born cheater too he was cheating on his ex with me and cheating on me with new girl. Like that's in their blood you nobody can really change that...

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What Guys Said 12

  • Yes, you are right you should forget about this woman and move on. Once a cheater is always a cheater.

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  • She is still a Cheater!

    GET RID OF THOSE ROSE TINTED GLASSES YOU HAVE ON.

    Bro, this is what you need to do to protect yourself in the future.

    Get your BEST FRIENDS together. The ones that "have your back". Give them permission to ALWAYS be honest with you, particularly with Women!
    Also, promise them that you will listen to them! TRUST your BEST FRIENDS to help keep you out of trouble and not make a bad decisions.

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  • Stay away. Other females out there. Trust me your saving yourself a lot of potential problems.

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  • They're ALL cheaters. Women are incapable of being faithful. If she hasn't cheated on the guy she's with, it's only because she hasn't gotten the 'gina tingles for a different guy yet.

    Don't disqualify her because of that; she can't help her nature.

    Just accept that they are ALL like that, and conduct yourself accordingly (don't give them loyalty, since they can't give it to you).

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    • 3mo

      Someone is butt hurt.

    • 3mo

      @Smmyskittles

      Nope. I accept reality. It's actually pretty good, because it means I can do whoever I want and don't have to even think about possibly feeling bad about what I do.

      I don't get mad about snow storms, and it's the same kinda thing. It just IS, and there's no point in getting emotional about it. Accept, adapt, drive on.

  • i would avoid it like the plague dude
    once a cheater Always a cheater - watch out if you wanna get involved with her, cos you're hopping on a sinking ship. on fire. crusing among landmines.

    seriously - DONT DO IT. i did it and it still hurts like hell!!

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  • Take my word for it please.. you can't trust her, ever. run!

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  • She's riding the cock-carousel. Unless that's what you want - the town bicycle - move on.

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  • Cut and run

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  • It's a red flag. Whether or not it's an instant dealbreaker? You could say yes, or you could find out more about the scenario.

    I have more sympathy for unhappily married cheaters than dating ones. If she's unhappy dating, she could have likely broken up fairly easily.

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  • How did you find out?

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    • 2mo

      Everybody knows. The guy she slept with told his friends they told to other friends and eventually everybody found out. If he kept his mouth shout maybe noone would know. Which makes it question whetever she cheated more times but nobody found out.

  • I would move along. If you know you're going to get paranoid, it will literally torture your mind. It's not fun. I was a cheater once and hated the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater". I haven't cheated on my girlfriend yet only because she's related to my best friend. I'll admit if it weren't for that I probably would have by now, even though I swore I'd be a good boy this time. I'll probably get frustrated and cause her to break up with me so I don't look bad. I should add things aren't perfect. That's just some advice from someone who's cheated and tried to stop...

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  • I wouldn't go near a woman that has a history of infidelity.

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