Is it wrong of me to not want to date her because she does not have a job?

We're both college students but her folks pay for her stuff, I pay for my own. I really like her but she has never had a job and from the way she talks it sounds like she does not have any work ethic. Were both college students with different majors but I'm just not sure if I want to get into a relationship where I'm the only one with a job in the for see able future. I don't doubt that she will eventually get into her field but how long will that take and she does not want to get a job now. All of the ones that I suggested around us she has rejected or forgot about. I don't mind if she will be a stay at home mother latter but before that I would like us both to have an income. I'm currently working a full time job while I finish up my degree.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Someone in college, who have their folks pay for everything, does not need to get a job. There's nothing wrong with being a full time student.
    That said you don't have to date anyone you don't want to.

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    • Let me put it this way she "wants a job but would rather sit at home reading." She also has never had a job.
      True there is nothing wrong with being a full time student and not working, or working only during the summer.

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    • Whoa that girl so sounds like me... I say I want a job but when it comes down to it I actually don't want to do anything back breaking.
      I am a little nerdy. I wouldn't mind an office or lab job though.

      I apply for jobs and get interviews but they always turn me down because I have no work experience or my hours of availability aren't enough (because I'm busy with school)

    • @BackAgain Yup you sound just like her.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not wrong, it's a mature and well-thought out reason not to date. Plus women refuse to date men for this same reason all the time.

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What Girls Said 9

  • It depends on you and your views etc.

    My sister's husband dated her when she didn't have any jobs.
    He paid for everything unless they did trips /travel stuff. Then they split the cost and he would pay for me instead so on.

    Point is, he did want her to have that "work ethic" thing you mentioned, so he did tell her to work , which she did but it wasn't a deal breaker for him since he is the main provider.

    But if you know that you are different and you want your gf/wife to work and split costs, then yeah make things clear, and don't continue things if you see that it is a big deal for you

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    • Well that is kind of the thing I don't really know if I need that as a requirement. I really like her and we get along great together. It just kind of bugged me that I found a nice job for her and she never even applied. Twice

  • Honestly you are smart. A lot of guys will date bum ass girls just because they're cute and later on if she gets pregnant or something, complain that she's a gold digger. lol all that stress and drama could have been avoided if they had the foresight like you do in the beginning.

    Someone who has work ethic and someone who doesn't have it are not equally yoked. It would be ok if she was a stay at home mom, sure but y'all dont have any kids so why is she not able to work? You should at least have a girl who is on the same wavelength as you.

    Dont feel bad, she'll find a guy who doesn't care about her unemployment and you will find a woman who works.

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  • I can't stand people who have mommy and daddy buy them everything. Im putting myself through university and im doing alright. I would never use money from my mom. How do people just go to college to get a career but never worked a day in their life? She seems like she will leech off you. Sorry. You seem like a really nice guy and Id hate for you to get into a slump because of her sillyness.

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    • No I would not let her leech off of me I'm only going to be paying for the dates. If she wants something she can get a job for it.

  • It's not wrong at all. You like someone who works hard for their money and who can provide for themselves. It is totally understandable and I am the exact same way.

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  • Not at all.
    Everyone has their own personal reasons for not dating people.

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  • You are only in college and you are projecting a negative attitude toward somebody you don't even know that well. I did have a job in college I studied. See what develops. You can data and find out what she wants a life but to dismiss someone because they don't have a job when they're in college is premature

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    • Well I actually do know her well. I have been her freind for 3 years. I know her future plans and what she wants in life. True but that is one of the things that I wonder about

    • If you dismiss her from your life you will never find out

    • Who said that I was going to dismiss her? So are you saying that if I stop flirting with her suddenly I'll loose her not only as a date but also as a friend?

  • She sounds like an entitled little Princess. Get away now.

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    • na more like an geeky entitled book worm.

  • That's a little messed up... Maybe I'm biased because I'm like her

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    • In what way is that messed up?

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    • Maybe but I still like her and she has asked why we have not been on an actual date to a formal restaurant.

    • I'd wonder the same

  • Its not wrong, by the looks of it, her personality is not that good either

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    • well someone can have a bad work ethic and still have a good personality. Just look at all of the highschool students that work while on their cell phones.

What Guys Said 10

  • It's not bad, especially if she doesn't have any work ethic.
    I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to work during college, if your parents can pay it, then it's better if you just stick to school and not have any other possible distractions. But having no work ethic is not good at all.

    You did good.

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  • It's not wrong at all. You simply know what you want and you don't want to take that chance of being the one paying for everything.

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  • This girl does not meet your expectations now. What makes you think she ever will do anything different than be a daddy's little girl? She does not need to work, nor does she need to take your suggestions. This girl may be a friend, but I would not plan a future around her.

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  • So you two aren't even dating but you're already thinking about marriage?

    I get the feeling you're overthinking this man.

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    • Well sorry but I'm traditional. I don't date a women unless there is a chance that we might be married some day. Also what college student has not thought of the future? Hm that might be a good GAG why can only women think about getting married to a guy?

    • yeah man, that's kinda confusing. Guys that claim to be "traditional" wouldn't want her to work. Traditional guys would like to marry a women that stays at home. Kinda a mixed message here.

      I'm with you, i wan't my women to work. None of this stay at home mom BS.

    • I mean traditional in dating.

  • Well women are doing those things all the time, so you are giving them some pay back. :)

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  • Yes, women are supposed to be feeding off you, not the other way around. What is your dysfunction boy?

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  • How can you take someone like that seriously lol...

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  • If you are already having an issue with this then you probably shouldn't date her seriously. You don't like her enough.

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  • No, it is not wrong. Chicks do that all of the time when evaluating guys...

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  • Whateves you'll marry into the family fortune. Tie the knot then lay down the law

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    • lol you mean the 3 jobs that her parents work for her.

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