How do introverts feel dating an extrovert? What was your experience like?

Is it a deal breaker if the other person is too introverted or extroverted?





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Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually most people are between the extremes. I'm a highly introverted man but I can still go out and have fun. I just get saturated very easily and then want to be alone. I also prefer small groups of people that I actually like to hang out with.

    The extrovert mustn't be overbearing and the introvert must come out of its shell. Every relationship works on compromise anyway. I think introverts are more loyal (that could just be me talking based on my mindset) and generally deeper.

    tl;dr
    The girl would need to understand that sometimes I just want her to f*ck off because I want my space and not take it personally.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm an introvert around new peopl, but when I get to know you and I'm comfortable talking to you, I'm completely myself :) but my ex girlfriend was an EXTROVERT. She would say whatever she pleases. Whenever we would hug she would kiss my on my cheek by my neck, and it was around everyone else. People saw, and I go to a private christian school, so thats kinda risky. It was awesome having a fun girlfriend, and we liked the same kinda music and style which was awesome. But since i was shy, i ussually didn't know what to talk about with her and especially around her and her friends. That's one of the reasons we're not together anymore. I could feel confident around her (even tho i was ugly af) and I knew she loved me. SO overall it was nice :)

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What Guys Said 41

  • Opposites attract!! Half of the women I have been seriously involved with have been totally opposite and Extroverts!!
    At first there is some attraction, and they seem so full of energy, and joy, just meeting people, and talking to anyone!!
    I've always been introverted, thinking, reserved, and not liking big groups.
    They seem to see me as a 'project' like someone to 'fix'. I see them as maybe a way to be more open, more interactive in general, like so many said when I was younger.
    After a while, their Extroversion, and constant chatting with anyone, especially when we are on dates, it gets a little annoying!! I like quiet, intimate dates, with just the one I care about, but she sees someone she knows, and suddenly they are joining us!! WTF?
    The other half of the women I dated, Introverts, like me, lasted much longer, and was more intimate, more fulfilling, and more of what I want.
    But somehow I still like some of the Extroverts, even though it doesn't work for me!! Moth to the Flame, maybe?

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  • I'm definitely more of an introvert and a while back I dated a girl I'd consider to be an extrovert. She seemed to know so many people and could talk to anyone, which isn't a bad thing but I'm just not that outgoing. The thing was though, she had so many friends and talked to so many people that she ended up with a lot of guy friends and I'd see her texting them from time to time when I was with her and I didn't know exactly how to feel about it. As much as I liked her for who she is, I think ideally the girl I end up with for the long run will probably be a little more introverted. I don't want to sound like a jealous guy or tell my girl she can't be friends with someone but in my previous relationship there were times when I questioned if she really wanted to be with me or them and I don't want that doubt in a relationship, I want to know I'm her first and only choice because I'll make it clear that she's mine.

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  • I am an extroverted introvert. LOL... I love the company of people to a degree and for a certain length of time, then I am done for the day. I live my life like an introvert in that I live alone, etc. Given the chance to do something social and I am right on it. I can date an extroverted woman if she understands the personality difference. And being introverted, I am not always wanting to "talk". Extroverted women can be fun to be around. I've gone places and hung out with them and I "play into it" in public by pretending to be the woman's "moderating force" and people think it is funny.

    I was in a long term relationship with an extroverted woman from the age of 30 to 33 and in that case it did not work out. In her case she didn't want to acknowledge my need for "me time" and constantly tried being in my face. She didn't have a lot of friends and was looking to me to fulfill it all, which isn't really considered to be healthy. Nice gal and I am still somewhat in touch with her.

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  • It depends on how well she understands introversion/extroversion and our different needs. In our society extroversion is more of a desired trait, and to many being introverted is a bad thing. A lot of people think that introversion is just shyness, they assume that everybody wants to be like them and be super social, loud, chatty. I'm confident but not that social, I like my alone time and sometimes find people and big social events to be draining. If she doesn't understand that she'll try to get me to come out more, she'll think I'm in a mood with her or that there's something wrong when I want to be left alone for a bit. That gets annoying. It's all about understanding each other and coming to a compromise on certain things.

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  • I don't know about dating but my best friend is an extrovert and I feed off of it when I'm around him. I don't like saying hi to strangers but he somehow got me to go around and fake propose to random women. I love that guy.

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  • It does work but its stressful for the extrovert having to be careful about their wording. As introverts often take things a step further than they mean Which generally results in a even nastier retaliation. Such as an example might be the silent treatment which can really kill the relationship.

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  • It's a real pain in the ass. Introverts enjoy hanging out alone while extroverts gain their energy from being around their friends. When in a relationship the introvert will be subjected to being invited to shit they have no interest in and when they plainly state that they don't want to go it'll turn into some stupid conversation about how they're antisocial; or the extrovert will bring friends over pretty much every day. It's just a pain in the ass, I'd say you'd have better luck pairing an omnivert with an introvert than an extrovert with an introvert.

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  • Introverts and extroverts are attracted to each other by that characteristic alone. They see that as characteristic of quality at first, but later begin to resent the constant opposite view. It does get tiresome after several years.

    A pair of extroverts will always be in competition with each other, which can be quite healthy or quite aggravating.

    A pair of introverts will rarely communicate due to their personalities and assume the other feels the same way. That can be very conflicting over time.

    The ideal match is one where both parties understands their differences and grow upon them.

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  • It's tiring! Like, can't we just stop for a bit, relax? You can stop talking too.

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  • I think it's all about the rapport between you and the connection. I don't think anyone is necessarily one nor the other. It's about the supercharged excitement you bring to each other. Sometimes those who are similar connect, sometimes people who might be more opposite. But ultimately you'll both just excite the other and compliment each other well.

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  • it was like hell. me being the male assumed the role of making her happy and regret it to this day as I lost a piece of myself and compensated for it during the relationship in unhealthy ways.

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  • I dunno but it seems it would balance things out.

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  • I LOVE extroverted girls, and we work great together as long as they don't expect me to be a carbon copy of themselves.

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  • I didn't mind it, at first i may have been a bit shy but soon opened up and became extroverted so to speak, depending on the situation, i still dont like large crowds nor parties no matter what

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  • I'm slightly introverted, and I'd prefer someone who was an ambivert/introvert. I could probably even make it work with someone who was slightly extroverted,. but if they're full-blown extrovert? I'm not sure we'd be a good match.

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  • I'm an introvert, but I'm usually more attracted to extraverts.

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  • I prefer a fellow introvert.

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  • im an introvert and i can't date a extrovert, but i can't say anything for sure because i never dated any extrovert before.

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  • I'm on the middle, but actually I've dated girls far more introverted and girls far more extroverted than me, and honestly I don't feel it's an issue, at least not a BIG issue, for the two parties in a relationship.

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  • Yea am a intrpverted and my girlfriend a full blow Ow extroverted.. she pushs me to be abit more social andwe even each other out. Its not a deal breaker as long as we all respected each other wants n needs

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  • I don't really want to do the things extroverted people tend to do, so it wouldn't work at all.

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  • I'd do that, but women don't like introverted men, especially if we're ethnic minorities.

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  • I'm an introvert and need a fair amount of recharge time. The calmer extroverts are ok with me.

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  • I'm somewhat shy and I like it when girls get all up in my face😅

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  • It's a bad match unless you like either being left out or leaving yourself out. Because they're gonna want to go out and you'll have to go along or stay home and feel lousy for missing out.

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  • I'd prefer it to be honest with you

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  • I feel it would be my ideal but I never really dated anyone yet.

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  • I'm extrovert so no idea 😶

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  • Does the other person feel like a natural fit to you?

    That is all what matters.

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  • Yes they are bc u used "too"

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 24

  • Too introverted? umm... not sure what would qualify as that, seeing as how any sort of extrovert is already different than myself.

    My boyfriend is an extrovert and it obviously wasn't a dealbreaker for my introverted self. It may have led to my being put in a few uncomfortable situations that I never would have found myself in if not for him (nothing too extreme. Just hanging out with crowds other than my usual type and such). It was a bit tough at the time, mostly due to the lack of familiarity on my part but over the years, I've found that it's actually helped me become much more comfortable/confident with myself in more novel social situations.

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  • As an introvert, it can be tough dating an extrovert. I love their social nature, and how friendly they are, but sometimes you just want a nice night in. I've had bf's who were extroverted and always had to have activities going on. It was nice at first, but after a while it got tiring (and expensive!). I had a hard time keeping up with them socially.

    Now I think these types of relationships work. But it definitely takes patience
    and communication between both partners to work.

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  • I'm a introvert and my boyfriend is a extrovert.
    I love that my boyfriend enjoys hanging out with people, can carry conversations, show confidence and has a knack for people.
    I'm the opposite and need a lot of alone time and dislike large groups. He thrives in them The awesome thing is that he has helped me come out of my shell and he makes me feel at ease with big groups cause I know he'll carry conversations.

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  • I do find it a bit of a deal breaker because my experience with extroverted males and females alike is that they dont care to understand or respect my introversion. I've gotten comments from your weird, to you never leave your house (not true i just won't jump to do whatever u want whenever u want), I've had them make facebook posts saying i won't return their messages can someone please hunt her down and make sure she's ok (yes really!) I wasn't even allowed to unplug. It was like they expected that i belonged to them. Terrible.

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  • Although I would technically label myself an ambivert, which is a mixture of both, I would say I lean more towards the introverted side. That being said I actually prefer to date extroverts for a few different reasons.

    1. When we are in public I don't feel the need as much to make small talk because I have them.
    2. At the same time they actually make me feel more comfortable with talking in a social setting because I know they will try to include me.
    3. It forces me to go out and meet people while still having that safety net of having them there.

    I don't really like dating guys who are introverts because although I am comfortable with them I don't really feel like I am growing as a person... also I need a guy who isn't super shy because otherwise we will never talk to each other. This is just me though!

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  • I'm an Ambivert , but I prefer someone who is an introvert than a extrovert. So it's not a deal-breaker for me.

    I find in general, introverts are deep thinkers and very compassionate and loyal people. Those are traits I look for in a guy

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  • My boyfriend is a bit of an extrovert, and I don't mind. So far it seems like we've been able to compromise pretty well. I don't mind going out with him every now and then and he doesn't mind staying in with me.

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  • I am an ambivert and so it doesn't matter too much who I date although I lean more towards introverted people. But I think if you are an introvert or extrovert you should either be with someone that's the same or an ambivert.

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  • I'm extroverted and I think introverts are intimidated. I do all the talking and they never want to talk. Makes me feel like there is no point in me being there? I find that sometimes they're a bit more emotional, as in clingy. I'm not crazy about that. I think I just haven't found the right one.

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  • I'm an introvert dating an extrovert. I find anxiety most of the time actually. Especially if I have to hang out with him and his friends. However its a good thing because he's he one taking all the initiative and bringing me out of my shell. He like dating me because he feel he aways have meaningful conversations with me.

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  • I actually loved it because it helped me come out of my shell a bit and become more confident in myself. I became less socially awkward as well.

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  • I'm between an introvert and an ambivert.

    I like extrovertedness, I appreciate introverts as well. It just depends on the person. But being with an extrovert can make an introvert feel a little awkward at times.

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  • Extroverts are fun.

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  • I'm introvert and it seems to me like that would be great, because we'd balance each other. But then again, it depends on a person, not just whether one is introvert or extrovert.

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  • I dated an extrovert and even though it was tough it was worth it. It's just about getting the right balance between your two personalities

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  • My boyfriend and I are both pretty severe introverts, which has its problems.

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  • I'd date any of the two even if I am an introvert. My boyfriend/partner has a different point of view either way and I can respect that, as long as they make time for me.

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  • It would definitely get me out of my shell for sure but they also intimidate me haha

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  • Im s bit of an introvert and because he definitely wasn't there was some frustration involved.

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  • I'm a real introvert but my boyfriend is a over the top extrovert. We get along just fine. We are truly opposites but there is something there that we just both need from each other. He gets me and I get him. :)

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  • It can be a great combo if both partners are willing to adapt and change.

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  • They are a little overwhelming, I feel like taking a 3 days break after being with them

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  • I have no problem dating someone who is a introvert or a extrovert. As long as it doesn't get in the way of our relationship. example: extrovert (ex bf) like to party and rather being out somewhere else than at home cuddling me...
    example: introvert "ex bfs"rather do NOTHING with me but play league.. doesn't even wanna go on a date.. a movie..
    Now if my (ex bf) learn how to balance and make sacrifices it be different but that's just who they are 😇😇😇

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  • If he isn't extremely extroverted then I would say its ideal.

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