Does playing hard to get work?

I went out on a date with the perfect guy. He is handsome and successful. However, he was too intimidating for me. He was disappointed he had to go and drove me home. He then asked if he will ever see me again. I said "no" and walked away.

I know I messed up real bad and I want him back. What can I do? Or is it over?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly, playing hard to get generally just isn't good, not in the way most women seem to want to apply it anyway.

    Second, it's meant to be *playing* hard to get, the point is to have it be understood that you've essentially already been "gotten" but you two are just playing around and flirting until you move things along.

    Third, what you did wasn't "hard to get" in any sense. What you did was put yourself completely out of reach.

    I think you could easily fix it by admitting you were being dumb and want to see him again. Guys are forgiving. He wanted to see you again, obviously it's not over.

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What Guys Said 18

  • You indeed may have made a bit of a mess of things. Playing hard to get works. He may come around. I'd give it a week. If you haven't heard from him, send him a note, on paper in your best, most feminine handwriting telling him you've reconsidered and would like to see him again and promising that you won't bolt. Put a drop or two of you perfume on it as well. Use nice, feminine stationery. I know it's a lot of trouble but when he gets it in the mail, I predict it'll have a huge, positive impact.

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  • That's not even playing hard to get... you straight up told the guy you never want to see him again LOL!

    Smart.

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  • Contact him again if you want to make things work out or forget him and move on!

    Playing hard to get does NOT work... for me.
    You fucked up. Now pick up your shards.

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  • Only if he thinks you are consistently hard to get. There is nothing appealing about a girl who is hard to get for you if she hopped into bed on the first date with her previous partners.

    Like guys may tolerate that scenario but you being hard to get for him is only a turn on if he believes you are consistently hard to get.

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  • memesvault.com/.../Computer-Facepalm-Meme-08.png

    You've fucked up. It's over. If he is handsome and successful, he's also intelligent enough to think that if you are playing stupid games on your very first date, you are a waste of his time.

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  • Hard to get NEVER works. I guarantee you no guy likes a woman that plays hard to get. The only reason a guy goes after a woman who plays hard to get is because he's insecure or so much into her that his willing to put up with her bs but its not her playing hard to get that makes him want to. Its that he's willing to put up with it but even then I guarantee you he's frustrated by itHowever if a guy had to choose between 2 attractive girls that he likes equally and one of them plays hard to get and other doesn't I guarantee you he will always choose the one the other one.

    Now in your case. The only thing you can do right now is to contact him (hes not going to contact you) and say him you didn't mean it and that you want to meet again. He might however play hard to get himself this time or he won't trust you or he won't give you a chance. So way to go. What did you actually gain from this?

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  • Lmaoooo, you're savage OP, not even "I had a lovely evening thank you".

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  • Playing hard to get is making you seem aloof and non-responsive to normal behavior. Does it work? If that is how you want to portray yourself, yes! if you expect to get a better quality person to admire you, you are dead wrong. What you will attract are players. If you are only interested in players, then you are doing the right thing for yourself.

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  • Lol! Way to fuck it up!

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  • No it doesn't.

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  • Not with me, it doesn't.

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  • Nope, well not for me.
    Once I notice they are doing it , I'm gone. I'm not playing, what am I in kindergarten?

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  • okay he asked u said no u could say maybe but u said no
    so there is no hope sadly

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  • That's not playing hard to get. That's retarded.

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  • thanks I am perfect!

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  • Sorry but i have to say play hard to get isn't gonna work from my perspective. And no, you are not messed up real bad.
    Just be flirty to him, but not too much. Spend time together. Show him that you're interested
    If he hasn't texted a while, you can initiate it. You dont have to wait for him to text you ;)

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  • No, you will lose out in the end

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  • WHy would you tell a guy NO... sometimes i wonder how the female mind reasons

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What Girls Said 10

  • That's not playing hard to get, that's straight up rejecting a guy sweetheart.

    Goodluck getting him back.

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  • Playing hard to get is a manipulative tactic. It's a mind game. If a guy played hard to get with me I'd avoid him at all costs

    No one likes mind games. People like to know exactly where they stand with someone

    Why would he pursue you or come back after a resounding "No". Saying " no" isn't playing hard to get... It's a clear rejection.

    I'd be very surprised if it's not over

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    • 3mo

      I'd rather somebody come up and tell me they don't like me and leave them alone instead of them acting weird around me. Examples of weird being shy, avoiding eye contact acting of though I'm not there when in a group of friends etc

  • Umm, that's not hard to get. It's rejection...

    Don't play hard to get. But I'd say, your real problem is that you're insecure. Feel good about yourself. He wanted to see you because he liked you, which means other people are seeing good things about you that you aren't seeing in yourself.

    Playing hard to get is just a way of saying "I don't believe I'm actually valuable so I'm going to try tricking people into liking me." And obviously, it seems to always backfire.

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  • Call him and tell him you were nervous and that wasn't the answer you meant.

    Plsying games will only lead to miscommunication.

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  • Hahahahah I'm like you

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    • 3mo

      I am intimidated by guys?

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      @NajemEddine I told you why, because TUnisian guys might think it's slutty if the girl comes to him first :p

    • 3mo

      it might have been true and thats sad
      there is a huge gap of misunderstanding between guys and girls in tn

  • No. It's childish. One has to act spontaneously, unless they are players.

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  • Depends

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  • No stahp this

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  • Some say it work others it won't and the ones who say it does not work, say people should stop playing games like kids and be straight and tell the things exactly how they are without playing. Also they say that if the couple are mature, playing hard to get does not fit cause for God sake they are adult grown up people they should not be playing games like hard to get those things are for teenagers.

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  • Not always and yeah it is over for good

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