What am I supposed to do if girls my own age don't like me?

I'm 20 and starting my third year of college, but I've found that girls my age really aren't into me. The thing is, though, girls younger than me think that I'm really special. There are several high school aged girls right now who are really into me. My neighbor is like 16 and is in love with me. But girls who are ~20, nothing. I guess I have a younger vibe, but what am I supposed to do? I can't legally date girls who are under 17, and I really don't want to date anyone who's not in college.

Updates:
3mo I've gotten a lot of responses suggesting that I date older women. That's really silly, because if girls my own age think I'm too young, why would older women want me? It makes no sense, and for the record, the milf/cougar thing doesn't really happen in real life. It's a myth.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You may have to date younger girls if you want to date. You probably just look really young and seem like you're too young for girls your own age. If younger girls are in love with you, that means that you're attractive, but just appealing to a younger group. The worst thing you can do is sit around and be bitter about it, though.

    Try dating a girl who's the age of consent, which I'm guessing is 17 where you live. At least you'll get experience and won't feel so lonely and left out. I'm sure that's a bad feeling, thinking that no one wants to date you at your college while watching all these other people get together.

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    • 3mo

      I just didn't want to date someone who's not in college or living with parents. I don't really understand why girls are so often dismissive of guys their own age. It's like they always want to date older guys, but then they get mad when they get older and find that older guys want to date women younger than them.

What Girls Said 20

  • The good news is you are only 20 years old! You have plenty of time to meet a girl. The frustrating part is that you are 20 years old and want a girlfriend right now. My advice to you, is if you are seeking a college girlfriend, then you need to really put yourself out there at events. Meet as many people as possible. Join clubs, study groups, volunteer groups. Get involved in co-ed sports, get involved in anything that gets you meeting girls. This will really help you to develop friendships and find relationships.

    The reason it is so hard at this point in your life, is because most people your age are so focused on school and their careers that they barely have time for themselves let alone any relationships.

    Try not to focus too much on relationships. Try to enjoy this period of your life.

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    • 3mo

      I'm focused on my work, too, but there are people dating and having relationships all around me. It is possible. I just dont think meeting someone should be so hard. It really kills me that I feel like I'm on the outside with my face pressed against the glass, like dating in college isn't for me. I can understand why older guys want to date younger women now.

  • Try an Online Reputable dating Site that just Might... Be the Answer here, dear.
    Younger girls Look up to You, Admire You. However, girls your Own age, they are More Particular, Have a Certain Type in Mind, and it Might be that your Good Looks and Softer image of the Boy Back Home is Not what they are Seeking. And some will Want this.
    Online Dating Sites gives you a Chance for a little Romance with these Girls, Wide Spread, to Get to Know... The Real you in Texting and Talking.
    Good luck. xx

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    • 3mo

      "... it Might be that your Good Looks and Softer image of the Boy Back Home is Not what they are Seeking."

      YES. I think this is it, really. I've tried to shed the boyish look, but even lifting weights hasn't really changed how girls perceive me.

      I guess dating sites are really my only recourse, partly because I don't have the time to spend on a lot of social activities. TBH, though, even in the brief time I was on PoF, most of my communications came from younger girls.

    • 3mo

      Ah, I thought as much. With a many guys I have had in dating and mating, yes, I do understand this. But I understand too Today's Girls. However, many a Romance by Chance Online. Find out with your schedule if maybe this is right for you. xxoo

  • I think you should ask the younger girls why they like you so much. Sometimes younger peeps are more open minded, so they don't pick up on a negative vibe you may have that the older girls pick up on. So, find out what makes you attractive, and then improve on that to attract girls your own age.

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    • 3mo

      I have learned why the younger girls like me. My neighbor who's 16 has had a crush on me since she was like 12, and it was because I was older and "brave" (her words) for doing things like riding dirt bikes and playing football. I think most of it is just a physical crush and the fact that I'm older than her.

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    • 3mo

      well, in that case you just have to wait a year or so, and hope that once she's older she still likes you.

    • 3mo

      She's probably not going to my college, though.

  • Don't date anyone.

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  • Most young girls don't even like you for you though. They just like the fact that you're older because it helps them appear more mature.

    This doesn't mean all hope is lost and you have to resort to pedophilia for love though.

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    • 3mo

      Not true at all. The younger girls who are crushing on me do like me for me, just the same as girls my age *don't* like me for me. Age difference doesn't preclude real attraction.

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    • 3mo

      Yes, because you know how every single teenage girl on the planet thinks :rolls eyes:

    • 3mo

      Obviously not. But I do know how many think. And why isn't age as relevant when we're older? Because the novelty of "an older man" quickly wears off when we're already more experienced in dating.

      Why ask questions if you only want to listen to responses to confirm your biases?

  • What about that group of girls who are younger than you but older than 16? you are a junior in college. Why not try with the freshmen and sophomores? Am I missing something?

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    • 3mo

      No, I've tried to get close to some freshman girls, but they all seem to be looking for older guys too--or at least guys who *seem* older than me. I actually had one freshman girl in my dorm tell me that she thought I was a freshman too.

      I think it's a comparison thing. In comparison to the guys girls see all day in HS, I seem much older. But in comparison to guys on a college campus, I seem younger. So I have status to HS girls, but college girls see me as a freshman with no status.

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    • 3mo

      I have asked several female friends, and I was depressed by what I heard. Basically I was told to be less serious and more outgoing like 'normal' guys. It's just not in my nature to be some ESFP life-of-the-party guy. I have a sense of humor and love to laugh, but not every guy can be an entertainer.

    • 3mo

      well, make sure you always look approachable with a smile on your face and happy to see whoever is in front of you.
      I gotta go now. good luck to you <3

  • Just keep trying, you don't have to stop now. I didn't end up with my guy until I was 24

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    • 3mo

      I'm just afraid that I'll have to wait even longer, and I just can't do that. It's harder for guys to be celibate long term because our sex drives won't leave us alone.

  • College is a big place. You might just have to open up and explore and just try go after lots of different types of women. Don't get set on one type. Younger girls just like the whole older guy thing. Just put yourself out there, don't have an ideal girl.

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    • 3mo

      I don't have an ideal girl at all. My last two crushes were totally different. One was a short Italian girl with a bushy mane of dark hair, the other was a tall blonde girl. But I think you're right that I might have to spend more time on social activities. School takes up so much of my time that I don't engage in as many purely social things as other people. That's what sucks about being in a demanding major.

    • 3mo

      You just have to try new things

  • Go for older women. Older men seem to show interest in me, and guys my age kinda over look me. In my case I think it's because guys want the materialistic girls who are my age. No one wants the natural girls around where I am.

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    • 3mo

      If girls my own age don't want me, it seems very unlikely that older women would.

    • 3mo

      Tbt that's not necessarily true. I don't have luck with younger guys, but it's different for me with older guys. It's just a suggestion, have you tried going after older women?

    • 3mo

      No, I haven't, because girls my own age aren't even into me. Why would an older woman want to be with a guy who looks like a teen?

  • No idea. I'm 19 but look like a 15 years old teeneger so only high school boy ask me out. It's kinda embarrassing when I have to said them my age.
    For you I don't know maybe wait she's legal?

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    • 3mo

      I think that's the only thing I can do. I never wanted to date a HS girl after I left that world, but I'm tired of being alone.

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    • 3mo

      I know, I'm just tired of waiting around to date.

    • 3mo

      I can't really help you maybe try tinder. A lot of people on gag talk about it so

  • I think it's better to wait it out and find someone who's into you :)

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    • 3mo

      The problem is that I've already waited too long.

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    • 3mo

      I said look for girls your age who LOOK younger. They might be dealing with the same shit so they might be more open to dating you. If that's not the case, then I have no idea :/

    • 3mo

      I have no idea, either. I'm just going to ignore the crap that other people say about dating younger girls and go for someone who's still in high school. I never wanted to do that, but it's the only way. I really don't want to graduate college never having dated anyone the whole time I was here.

  • Maybe date an incoming first year?

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    • 3mo

      I've tried that, but most think I'm also a freshman and want nothing to do with me.

  • don't do anything illegal?

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    • 3mo

      I said in my question that I had no interest in doing so.

  • Hey there is this guy I know who can help in give you some ideas on what to do , it free maybe you should check him, follow him on intragram najid931 , send him message as ty friend and he will know that I send u. He helped several people I know so I think he can help you to.

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  • Maybe you behave n dress in a way that would be expected of somebody younger than you that evrybody sees you as the little brother at home

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    • 3mo

      I definitely used to give off that vibe by my appearance, but I've tried to change it. I even started lifting weights to gain more size and muscle so that girls might see me as more masculine.

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    • 3mo

      it is an option.. Ladies look for guys who are younger than them to make them feel younger and to try new stuff with them.. If u dont want older ladies, ladies your age dont want you and those who like you are underage, thn pls stay single

    • 3mo

      But be realistic. No 25 or 30 yo woman is going to want to date a guy who looks like he's 18. That just doesn't happen in real life. Maybe in the movies it does, but real life is different.

      I'm attracted to plenty of woman who are older, so I never said I didn't want older women. And no, I'm not going to stay single just because some girls think I should be forced to date girls my age or older than me. No one has the right to tell me that.

  • I used to play PlayStationnetwork on the PS3 and when I was on there I had to stay offline a long time because so many guys kept trying to ask me out and one of the guys was 17 and another was 19 and I was think 22 at the time and because so many guys wouldn't stop asking me out on the game I had to date the guys so that I would stop getting asked out and I told the much younger guy no and said he was to young and other things and I told him I tricked him and I stopped dating the guy and he got mad and then I stopped dating the other guy cause I wanted to be single and he got upset that he took his own life. as for your question you can date younger girls as long as there not under 17

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  • I honestly wouldn't worry about it. I'm pretty sure there are a ton of girls your age out there who like a guy who seems younger at heart as long as you're not immature about it. I would not go after a 16 year old. It seems like a bad idea, especially since you are almost done with college and she hasn't even started yet.

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  • Teens think that guys who are in their 20s are the best.
    I think that's when guys look the best.
    I however am not 20 so I can't answer why they don't like you, sorry.

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    • 3mo

      I think you're right. I think teen girls see guys my age as being really cool, whereas girls my age view us as replaceable because there are so many of us around.

    • 3mo

      Most likely..
      Well I wish you luck in finding a girl!
      I'm sure there is some that'll like you :)

  • Wait until you find someone that is in college that is in to you. You don't need to date for the sake of dating... what is the point to that anyway? Boredom?

    If you want to date a girl college age wait for one that is both in college and that you are actually interested in (not just who may be into you).

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    • 3mo

      I've been single for the past three years, so that's long enough. Me wanting to date someone is totally normal.

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    • 3mo

      Yeah, I have a high GPA in atmospheric sciences and have completed two internships at a federal research agency while most people were out screwing around on summer vacation. So I have my crap together more than most guys my age, thanks.

    • 3mo

      I was talking about as other people go... not your level of education but good for you! You should be proud of yourself, quite an accomplishment!

  • Date older? You wouldn't be breaking any laws by dating an older woman.
    I had a similar problem; guys my age didn't like me or seemed attracted to me but older guys always have. I have been with older guys strictly for many years. Everyone this day and age expects everyone to be celebrity hot, model hot and it just doesn't happen. Find an older woman Im sure she will appreciate you.

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    • 3mo

      But it's different for you, because older guys and younger girls are the norm. For me, it's not the norm. Besides, if girls my own age don't want to date me, how are 25 year-olds going to want me?

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    • 3mo

      a lot of older women like younger men. Trust me it does happen. They are called MILFs for a reason lol. Why not put up a dating profile and see who sends you a message?

    • 3mo

      The "milf" thing only happens in porno movies and on the internet. 35 yo women see 20 yo guys as children in real life.

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