Am I thinking too much or am I right to be worried?

I love my girlfriend and I know my girlfriend loves me but sometimes she does stuff to me to doubt her loyalty and her respect to me. She's had issues in the past while we dated in which she has said to me many times that she really admires some of her guy friends romantically. I have asked her about it and she reassured me that I was her #1. However, these issues keep coming up and I'm starting to doubt how much she respects me in the relationship. I trust her 100% with other guys and she hangs out with many guys but she likes to compare them to me. I don't believe someone could be this naive. I'm at the point, after 6 months of dating, of where I would seriously consider breaking things off.

Today, my girlfriend wanted to cook something for me and her mother has pushed her to do it. Yesterday she was really looking forward to doing it, however something changed today. One of her guy friends wanted to play Tennis with her during the time we would be having dinner together. She loves Tennis and this guy is someone she tells me repeatedly that he's a perfect doubles partner for her even though he and I are evenly matched. My girlfriend immediately replied to him through text saying that they can play during the evening, when we were supposed to have dinner. This really started to grind my gears because she tends to change plans at the last minute often regardless if it's because of another guy.

I asked her about the dinner, and she said it's still fine to have today in-between my class and her playing Tennis. That's not enough time to have dinner and I need time with my own friends. I told her to just forget the dinner and I'll spend time the evening with my friends instead. I decided to play with my own Tennis friends. My friends and I would hang out afterwards. When I told her this, she was noticeably frustrated.

Am I thinking about this too much or did she disrespect our relationship with one another?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You are definitely being disrespected, and it's so dense of her to mention other guys like that. I think instead of ignoring and letting her pass every single time, you need to sit her down and bring up each point you brought up to us and let her know how you feel, becuase honestly, if you're at a point after 6 months to considering breaking up with her, then yes, the red flags need to be addressed immediately.

    • Every single time and issue like that came up I had a talk to her about it. About how unfair it is for the other person. I asked her how she would feel if I did the same thing to her.

      She tried hard to correct most of her mistakes but she keeps doing the same thing in different ways. It feels like she disrespecting me on purpose sometimes.

      If it helps, this is her first relationship at 22. Sometimes it feels like I'm dating a little girl.

    • Even if it's her first relationship, she's still old enough to know better. She cannot be that stupid.

      My only suggestion is that this is how she's going to be. Take her as she is, or set yourself free to be with a better woman who will enjoy every part of you with no need of her turning her head to other guys for attention.

      If she truly valued how you feel, she would fear hurting you or making you uncomfortable. But even after you talked to her, she refuses to change. I'm just worried in how the longer you stay with her and put up with the, the longer she'll think you'll just keep eating it up and do nothing.


What Girls Said 1

  • Hmm. She is walking all over you


What Guys Said 2

  • It is highly unusual to refer to a work mate or other as erotic to your partner. That being said, she may have a limited vocabulary thereby stunted with personal expression. Giving her all the leeway in the world can not mask her selfish desire to play tennis with an evenly matched player over having a quiet dinner with you.
    The very best thing you can do for the both of you is show her what you wrote here. Carefully measure her reaction. If she becomes defensive, or into denial, then you have a much bigger problem on your hands. A response centering around her not seeing matters the same way, but understands your feelings will give you ground to work with. It is always best to be up front with your feelings in a relationship. If your partner thnks you are seeing magic pixels that are not there or worse, then your relationship has just been demoted to friendship status.

  • Sounds like she isn't as emotionally invested in the relationship as you are. Nothing on your part can change that. If you've really been considering calling things off then I'd say just do it