We kissed and now I don't have any feelings for him. Why did this happen?

This guy and I have been talking. We planned on being just friends, but the tension was getting crazy. So we decided to just kiss and get it out of our systems. We made out for a while, but I felt nothing. He kept saying how turned on he was, but I really felt nothing the entire time. Before we made out, I use to get butterflies and just the thought of him kissing me made me crazy. Now that I've kissed him, I feel absolutely nothing. Also, I feel bad because he told me it was a lot of fun and he enjoyed it. But I didn't. The other thing is that he was really touchy while making out. He stuck his hand in my pants and touched my butt, and kissed my boobs. He kept saying he wanted to sleep with me, but I told him we could only kiss and not have sex. He felt a lot for me, and I felt nothing. Why are my feelings gone now? And what should I do? Before this, i couldnt qait to kiss him, and now its like whatever. I'm scared to tell him that my feelings are gone now... but I know I'll have to because I don't wanna lead him on anymore. Today he told me he can't wait to do it again, but I dont even want to. Advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It was all just lust? Just physical attraction or infatuation? Maybe it's because there's not more you're interested about it beyond the physical part. I still think it has to do with the hormones and the sexual drive and desires, although you did say you did not and not want to have sex with him at the time, so I don't know. Maybe some lust, but you kept it under control since you know what you want and did not want.

    I guess your friend did not realized that he had failed to keep you fully interested and turned you on enough throughout the entire session, since the whole make out and kissing each other thing is technically part of sex, as it is called "foreplay". If he had properly apply the proper foreplay techniques to get you turned on enough, you would have felt the hell with what you had been thinking about holding back earlier and then you would have just did it with him despite you had been holding back with your thoughts.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Some kisses are just like that. You feel absolutely nothing. And they suck!! But there's a reason for them. You have to have kisses like that to eventually appreciate the feeling when you kiss the one you're truly meant to be with. Before I met my current boyfriend I never felt any sort of spark kissing another guy. I thought there was something wrong with me. But it feels so amazing every time I kiss my boyfriend now even if it's just a peck. And then I learn to appreciate those shitty kisses because otherwise I would have nothing to compare my boyfriends kisses tk

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What Guys Said 2

  • Because sometimes the anticipation of the event is more / better than the act itself. It sounds like you have different styles of being close. Nothing wrong with that. Just try and let him down easy.

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  • You connect in more ways than you'd imagine when you kiss.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think of kissing as a test, oftentimes.
    It can show you how you really feel for someone, if they are really what you want. So I think he might not be. It also could be because he was taking it extra far right off the bat and it turned you off.

    I had a weird crush on a guy once, we kissed, I felt nothing, he felt something. But I gave it a shot and eventually, I started feeling A LOT. And enjoying it A LOT.. but it was like it was never 100% and never complete, like I wanted someone different. In our whole relationship I always felt that way.

    Moral of the story: in my opinion if you feel nothing the first time it's very likely there's just nothing there.

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  • you can usually tell a lot by a kiss, usually what the other one wants, if you felt it was wrong then it could mean any number of things, in my experience however with how touchy he was it could probably mean he just wants sex, and my guess is thats not what you are after

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