So a little bit of background knowledge:
I'm a pretty sensitive guy, not sissy-like and not feminine, but somewhat in touch with my emotions. I'm the type of person that rarely ever finds someone i click with, but when i finally do, i have really strong feelings for them for a very long time.
For example; i once had a crush on a girl for 6 years before i asked her out, it lasted 3 days, we barely saw eachother during this time, her friends later let me down with the bad news. I know it's just a silly school thing but that was 6 years of my life. We're now really good friends though which is cool.
I would then go a few years before i met someone i clicked with again. But i'd like them for a long time, even for months after they reject me with the "i think we should just be friends" (which is devastating btw).
Again months would go by before i found someone i liked talking to again, and i would like them for a good 2 years before plucking up the courage to ask them out as more than just friends. "I can't even take you seriously right now, hahah" and then the "aw you're not joking? I like just being friends".
Finally there was a girl i recently started talking to (after 2 and a half years of not being interested in anyone) who i immediately clicked with. The conversation would just flow so well, she was the perfect mixture of sarcasm and openness, looked just great, had similar sense of humour etc. Within 2 weeks of knowing her i decided to ask if we could be official (we were basically there already, just minus the title) but she cut 'us' at the knees straight away. "What i need right now is a best friend, not a boyfriend". Needless to say she had a boyfriend in the coming weeks anyway.
I cared so much for each of these people, they are the only people i have really truly cared about, and i would have given everything i am to them, given the chance. I guess i just never get the chance.
So what am i doing wrong here?
Most Helpful Girl
You're not flirting with them from the start. Instead, you act friendly towards them and then you magically expect them to date you.0
Most Helpful Guy
I suppose the biggest thing you are doing wrong is trying to function under a fairly picky mindset where you wait years to let a crush develop with certain girls only to find out that you aren't what they want. Don't let too much time pass before letting your intent be known.
This is more of an 'in the grand scheme of things' answer, though.
If you mean why are you failing with these specific women? That's a more complicated answer.
Maybe they don't find you all that physically attractive. Maybe the fact that you are "in touch with your emotions" is a part of your personality that pushes these women away.
I think sometimes when a guy clicks a little too well with a girl she prioritizes them in the 'friend category' due to the fact that she actually does want some male friends. This of course always blows because you were attempting to position yourself as more than that.
Maybe you were manufacturing purely positive or even thought provoking processes in her mind, whereas she actually wants someone that can manufacture some positive and negative thoughts and feelings inside her so she's left wondering and a bit excited or even a bit frustrated and challenged.