Do you believe that some people can truly have a fear of commitment?

If so, what might it be caused by?

Updates:
2mo xx
2mo How can you tell a guy has it as opposed to just not liking you?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some people like keeping their options open.

    I've had issues of being committed or the other person not being committed as there's a lot of flaky people.

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    • 2mo

      What if a guy doesn't want commitment/a relationship at the time being, but isn't actively dating or looking for anyone else, and he says that when he does want it, we can try then? What's that mean?

    • 2mo

      Maybe he likes you but wants to take it slow. He's just feeling it out.

    • 2mo

      I'm going through shit myself though. There's this girl I started seeing last month and the other day we had our 3rd date 2 days ago. We got a lot in common and we click a lot but right before we had sex, I found an empty condom wrapper on her bed.

      When she saw me see it, she gasped and was like hehe, that's trash. Now I know we're not together so she isn't cheating but I have feelings for her and was gonna talk about where she wanted to take it after we left but that made me want to hold off.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yup yup, that's me! I figure it's cause I've been solo all my life. Like when I so get asked out or I am dating someone I do or say certainthing's to pushthem away cause of past relationships with other's. Which is not good I know, trust issues/abandonment issues mostly. Example I'm interested in someone right now, but I won't say or do anything about it out of fear it will go wrong.. plus he is a friend kinda, but I have a date with another guy Sunday who I'm not interested in anymore, I know I need to give it a try anyway. Both cases will go how they usually do sour! I'm a very optimistic person, but pessimistic/cynical when it comes to this stuff.

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What Guys Said 6

  • i dont fear it, i worry that she won't because girls have too much pride where they won't or care to, because things come easy to them, but guys can be the same way too, and if only we all end up with the right person in the first place.

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  • Yes.
    Bad experiences in the past. Not being able to cope with a breakup (that person's own relationship or perhaps his/her parents). Feeling abused of your freedom. Thinking you're being played...

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  • no guy wants his balls crushed by some gold digging cunt when she files for divorce

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  • Past relationships, abandonment by parents or loved ones in general.

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  • yup, especially guys

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    • 2mo

      But why?

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    • 2mo

      I think it's shame about the divorce guy! I've heard of so many horror stories too.

      Oh, but I'm surprised you like the traditional ideal of women, since wouldn't they make it easiest of all to take advantage of guys? Like with expectations?

    • 2mo

      #SovereignessofVamps Yea, divorces are like a fashion these days.

      Well, i guess in some respects you are right traditional girls can take advantage of guys, but in my opinion from the older women around my mom age, there seems to be something about those women that catch my heart... and not only in a sexual way, but from a guys perspective i feel attracted to that "feminine" spirit they have. Like they seem to have a certain lightness of touch and grace and elegance that i don't really find with girls today. I'm not saying that girls are no-good, but i feel something different to those older women. Maybe i'm babbling, but i am speaking from my heart. Also not all guys appreciate it... but i do... i really really do and to some extent i miss it :'(

  • Yes,

    I'm one of those people, mainly because I'm a bit introverted and having to spend time with someone constantly is stressful.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Yes. It's usually caused by bad experiences, either in a relationship of your own or growing up around bad relationships. You see them like that over the years and even when you try to be rational about things, you've still been conditioned to see a committed relationship as bad of a thing as the kinds you grew up seeing.

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  • I am one of those people..

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  • yea... either due to past life events or cause of unability to grow up

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  • I believe it. It involves a big level of vulnerability that some people are afraid to get themselves into/show

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  • Yes. It's often caused by scars from the past. So past relationships, or even what their parents experienced.

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  • I think I do, and I think that it's because I fear failure.. If you commit to someone at the wrong time or for the wrong reasons, not knowing what they are truly like or how you truly bond, what situations may arise.. Etc I know that I am afraid to commit in case I end up hurting the other person

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  • I feel like fear of commitment (which I have) is the fear of what ifs. When it's just dating or bf/gf it's easier cuz you can just breakup but marriage is a little scarier... much scarier!

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  • Why do we call everything "fear"?
    Maybe It is just excess love of freedom.

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  • Of course people can have a fear of commitment. I know I did for a very long time. You see some people have been so hurt in the past they are scared to committ to someone as they don't want to be hurt again. Another reason is some people just enjoy not having a leash on them and like knowing they only need to think of themselves.

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  • Yes. Because they lack courage.

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  • Yes. Mostly caused by fear of another person breaking their heart. Because they've probably experienced really bad heartbreak. But there's also vice versa where a guy will jump into a new relationship because he fears being alone.

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  • I'm not afraid of commitment, I'm afraid of not getting the same thing in return. I'm afraid of disapointment.

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    • 2mo

      Are you saying you're afraid the other person won't reciprocate if you were to put effort into a relationship?

  • Fear of commitment is a psychological defense mechanism against fear of abandonment

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  • lots of people fear commitment because they are scared of getting hurt or getting in too deep and not knowing how to back out. Some people are too immature for true commitment and some just prefer to wait

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