Rules of making contact after first date?

I am recently single and have begun dating again. I haven't been single in a long time so I forget the "rules" for how to start something new without coming across as needy.

My situation - I went on a blind date on Saturday night. He seemed pretty into me, was holding my hand and was affectionate with me. He told me he had a great time and would love to see me again. We both chickened out at the end of the night, so no kiss. I texted him after and said "Totally should've kissed you goodnight!" he said "Yeah what's up with that ;) I had fun, we have to do it again soon!" (for the second time) to which I agreed.

He texted me the next day just making random small talk. The conversation kind of fizzled because we were both busy and we haven't spoken since.

Now it is Tuesday. Am I supposed to text him since he initially made contact on Sunday? Or should i wait for him to see if we should hang out again?

I am the WORST with this stuff. So help me out, what do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Call him. Don't text him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • In my experience there are no rules outside of don't be a socially inappropriate loonie toon. If you want to talk to the guy, just text him, there's no rules to it.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Yeah, try to see each other in person again. Texting isn't really meant for bonding, more so for setting up dates. You could literally just text him " so are you taking me out this weekend or nah" and you'll be good. Texting is a bit of a hit or miss. You might want to talk to each other but if no one really has anything to say over text it's better to set up a date

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    • 2mo

      Is it bad that I want him to ask me out again? Because we were set up, he didn't actually make the first move. I told him I definitely wanted to see him again, so I feel like he should reach out in terms of setting up a second date? If he doesn't, it kind of tells me he isn't interested. Or am I just being insecure?

    • 2mo

      Well we're all a little insecure aren't we? lol. Anyway, no it's not weird for you to want him to ask you out. You're a feminine person and you want a masculine man: one who takes action, that's attractive and in human nature according to evolutionary psychology. But yeah, As you said you both chicked out at the end of the first date AND a text convo fizzled out, he might be just as unsure as you. But since he told you he wanted to do go on another date you'll have to assume he had a good time. Don't worry about it. It's only Tuesday.

  • Reach out to him in a conversational style. Something along these lines:

    1. Hey! Guess the week has started well with you.

    2. Hi! How are you doing today?

    3. Hey! Do you know where one could find the best … in [specify the location]?

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  • There are no rules. Do what you want not what others think

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  • Tricky situation.
    Maybe just text him something which doesn't have to do with anything like "I saw this..." or "┬┤did you know about that..." The reason behind this is because you aren't being direct and are subtly initiating contact again and hiding your intentions. If you take a direct approach you might make him feel guilty, deter him or making him not too keen to meet up again. You can always be direct afterwards if you think it is the best way for you.

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  • Just text him! Especially if you liked him. "Hey, let's go on our next date so we can end it properly."

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  • Every second date I've had the girl basically asked me first, so rules aren't thaaat big of an issue. Just call him and sort out a date I guess.

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  • There are no rules

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  • Maybe send him one more text saying " When your able to talk please feel free to message me again i really had a great time on the date" Just see what he has to say.

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  • You held hands on the FIRST DATE. Of course he's going to wanna meet up again. Jheeeze, first date. Sounds to me like you've got a Romeo & Juliet (minus the family war) situation on your hands

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  • Human nature + chemistry !! There are no rules , and if someone says there is... Move on quickly. !! Can't place rules on human nature !!! Make a move your self and if he can't handle it. , then move on quickly.

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    • 2mo

      Asker... Wanting someone is always the best , needing someone is never good...

  • I don't see any problems in you texting him and asking him out. If he doesn't respond I would wait a week or 2 to make contact again.

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  • No rules, just contact him (calling preferred).

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  • There is no such thing as rules in dating.

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  • Yes, don't play any games, you text if you like him! It is refreshing if a girl does that. Don't play hard to get and all that rubbish.

    Text him to confirm things and even if you just want to flirt.

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  • Just text them asking a question or plan a date.

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  • Yes obviously you should text him.

    Stop treating him like a hungry dog.

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    • 2mo

      He kind of let our last conversation fizzle so thats why I had doubts. I also didn't know if it made me sound too eager since i sent that "should've kissed you goodnight" text

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    • 2mo

      I don't believe that you sent the last text.

      But whatever, as long as the poor guy isn't treated like a dog

    • 2mo

      LOL "poor guy." You can run along now with all of your judgements that are based in zero foundation, thanks

What Girls Said 3

  • There's no harm at all in reaching out and asking a "hey, how's things?" and take it from there. I've been in your situation earlier this year after breaking up with my longterm ex.

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  • If you want to talk to him, then talk to him.

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  • I'd message with a cocky "so I'm free Saturday night, where you taking me for that second date?" But that's just me 😜 Good luck x

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