Guys, how do we gals know you're on dating apps for the right reason?

Although online dating has now become commonplace, the stigma around guys' intentions remains, leaving us girls with a little bit of skepticism in the back of our minds while we navigate through Tinder and Bumble bachelors.

So, my question is simple - guys, how do we know you're on these apps for more than having the convenience of ensuring your weekends are filled with Netflix and chill partners?

For example... do you only give your number out to a select few? Put in more effort when setting up a date? Are you just straight up about being on the lookout for sex? Etc.

Updates:
2mo There have been a few guys suggesting that how much is written in the profile matters - if that's the case then I look like I'm on there for hookups too haha! There's a reason apps like Tinder and Bumble are so popular (aside from being free)... they're convenient for the hurried world we live in. A little shallow? Sure. But to deny that physical attraction is important is just lying to yourself. Really, I find the 'about me' awkward. Talk to me and find out, that's the point of dating.
2mo Anyway, I understand that online dating is not much different than old fashioned dating but the dynamic of "does he/she actually like me" has changed. What I'm hearing from the majority though is that the proof remains to be seen in the other person's efforts and, even then, it's all really still a crapshoot no matter what haha.

0|0
23

Most Helpful Guy

  • Tinder is primarily viewed as a hook-up app, at least in north America. You should assume hookup unless they indicate otherwise.

    In general, with dating sites? Signs he's looking for more than just sex:
    - he asks you out, not to his place/your place for a first AND second meeting.
    - he's up for including you in events with his friends, and meeting your friends.
    - he's interested in more than just sex. Note that doesn't mean he's NOT interested in sex, because he should be, and is testing to make sure you're not just playing for attention and not really into him.

    I'd also suggest straight up asking. You might be surprised. The guys I know who are actually getting laid easily, and only interested in that, are very honest about it. They are NOT worried about not getting laid, they ARE worried about girls 'getting the wrong idea' and being 'clingy'. So they are fairly open about it. Beyond that, girls who are looking to hookup tend to pretend they don't hook up if you talk relationship at them. So... in general those guys don't pretend. They are constantly saying they are looking to just 'have fun' and not tie each other down or other messages that they don't want commitment.

    There are a few people out there lying their asses off too, but most of them suck at it, and most of the people who fall for it are being blind to obvious signs. There really aren't THAT many people who are smooth liars, want to lie, totally pretend they're serious when they're not. If you get burned by one of those few? Well that sucks. But if you are looking for guys who SAY they want a relationship, ACT like they want more than sex, and DON'T hide you from friends/family... you're pretty safe.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 22

  • It's a difficult one because some guys will put in effort to manipulate girls into thinking that they're relationship material and then suddenly realize they're "not ready for a relationship" after they've had sex.. But because they're so kind they'll always offer the girl the chance to have ongoing sex with them, only with no strings attached. Lol.

    Some guys are crap at hiding it, you'll probably tell fairly early if he's rushing to get you home and then you'll get the real losers who won't stop putting in effort until they get what they want and then leave.

    If I go on tinder I'll probably only swipe right on like 5% of girls that I'd be interested in being in a relationship with and then if we match I'll have no intention of just hooking up, but will take it slow, spend time getting to know her and develop an emotional connection before I consider getting sexual. If I want to hook up with a girl for a one night stand I'll just go to the club and meet someone because in that situation it's far more acceptable and chances are she's into just hooking up as much as I am. I try to be as upfront as possible.

    1|0
    0|1
  • I don't use those
    But yep I think you should mention your intentions clear and if you're interested in some guy then talking to him will give you a hint of what he exactly wants
    Try not judge until you talk cause nowadays we guys are judged a lot which sucks

    1|2
    0|0
  • online is difficult. I think you only know by if they say what they are lookng for, or by how they write. then you validate that in person withs everal dates and getting to know them.

    guys have same issues, except women are often not very responsive. REalize a guy, at leat in m y experience and friends experience, can send out many requests and get back few replies. women get hundreds of texts they have to sift through.

    0|1
    0|0
  • You don't know. Same way you don't know when going out on a date with a guy that he's not just trying to get into your pants. It's a trial and error process that women - and men - endure.
    Granted you have an idea who is after you just for your body pretty early and call that women's intuition or whatever--but some guys hide it well and some women ignore it too. So you don't know until they make their play online just like on a real date. It's part of dating.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't. Just like we don't know if you're going to use us for free dinners and movies and never let us touch you.

    0|2
    0|0
  • be clear on your profile about what you are looking for
    read their profiles... someone who is looking for a serious relationship will usually put some effort into it too
    You'll know after you have talked a day or two with them. if he starts quickly being sexual then the likelihood that he just wants to hook up is high

    0|0
    0|0
  • You never know someone's real intentions on a dating site, that's always a gamble.

    The best u can do to minimize that risk, is to see how much effort a guy puts into writing their profile.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I suppose you wouldn't be able to tell or it would be at least very difficult to do so. Maybe by engaging into lengthy conversations with someone, you might be able to filter out what you need to know.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Most girls go off of profile & pics instead of having real conversations.

  • I'm trying to get a relationship on Tinder or anywhere else so I find it hard too because I understand women have to protect themselves but what does a guy have to do to show her on my profile I put:

    - finished school now looking for a long term partner
    - love to go on hikes and workout
    -love to read
    -working on my website

    However I only have one picture on Tinder is that bad?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Having one picture is bad

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Lol! One picture is bad, but cliche pictures of you with a guitar/tiger/random child/grandma are also not great. Post pics you like that accurately represent your life and you're set.

    • 2mo

      That's true I mean I want the right girl in my life so posting pictures of what I am passionate about will be the best thing to have

  • You can't. Only ways to truly tell is by time and the person's actions.

    It's easy to exaggerate or make a seemingly good profile as a front/cover up, but time will tell once you really get to know a person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I play lots of video games so it's part of what I call "putting yourself out there". the fact many girls think of netflix and chill bullshit reflects how bad my winratio for an online dating partner is

    0|0
    0|0
  • I can ask you the same exact thing..!

    0|0
    0|0
  • just ask it - no damage or offense can be taken by Men

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't worry about it too much. About 99% of women on dating sites (that are actually looking) are bottom of the barrel. Not only that, they are way too complicated and judgmental. Most of them are married and have kids.

    0|0
    0|0
  • What are the right reasons anyway?

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't! Unless, you are psychic!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Those apps are a meat market for pervs. You need to get on a serious dating website that has a lengthy application and vetting process.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I don't think there is a way to tell until its accompanied by a virtual world with facial expressions its never going to be the same.
    Far to many guys really do ruin it for everyone else there should be a system for girls to flag generic messages or limit message sending and block guys from using the past function to make sure there typing each one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am on non but if I would, I would be honest about. But I think, most with sexual intentions would just lie...

    0|0
    0|0
  • I use tinder and from my personal experience you probably can't tell. But really for me I'm just lucky if I get a match and then super lucky if I can get a reply after saying hi.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wasn't aware there was a gender stigma to online dating. I personally don't do it. I guess it's mostly the sites you use. Things like Eharmony Zoosk and match apparently show 90% of people of both genders want a real relationship.

    But places like Tinder and okcupid most people are looking for anything from a hookup to a relationship.

    I think if you do the paid services you're more guaranteed someone looking for a relationship.

    0|0
    0|0

1 private opinion(s)
Only the asker and the opinion owner can see it. Learn more

Loading...