The grey (maybe) between dating and bf/gf. Where do we stand? Are we official?

I met a man online and we've been seeing rachother for almost 3 months now (on a weekly basis).

I'm in my late twenties and he's in his early thirties. We had sex on our second date and I thought he would vanish however he has stuck around. We work in the same government department so therefore talk from time to time and see eachother at work.

We've now been on thirteen or so dates, I've spent most of my weekends at his place. We've never been out and about during the day however have had numerous movie and dinner dates. I really like him however unsure where we're at and don't want to corner him into whether or not we're in a relationship. We are yet to meet eachother's friends/ family. I know that he likes me a fair bit as he initiates dates each time and insists on me spending the night. He cuddles me after sex and we've had chat about marriage and children (in general not us specifically). Whilst chatting he'd also say things like "we have to go and try this restaurant" "we have to see this movie".

However despite all of this I am very uncertain where we're at. I've never been one for the talk and feel like we've kind of bypassed that however am keen to hear what everyone else has to say.


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What Guys Said 1

  • the only way to know if you're official, is to actually make it official. to take action.. and if you find out he's cheating, well then, you move on. not saying he is, just saying, there are some weirdos out there, ya know. all you can do is just be you


What Girls Said 2

  • If I were I, I would want "the talk" (as much as it does kind of suck to have). It seems like he's very into you and wants to progress, but it would be nice to verbally solidify that. I know this is such a girly opinion, but it really helps to calm all of your worries to hear him say, you're exclusive.

  • Why question it at all? Things seem to be going well. Just go with the flow. Eventually it'll come to the surface (ex: when he has to introduce you to his friends/family). In the meantime you have no set status so you're free to date others too if you want. And so is he.

    My advice is to go with it and not initiate a talk. Time will tell and let him bring it up. You're NOT exclusive until that agreement has been made.