How to stop being emotionally unavailable?

I got hurt pretty bad in a past relationship and ever since then I've held all the guys I've dated at a distance, never really letting them get close. So a true relationship never really develops. A lot of times its because the guy is also emotionally unavailable as well. Does anyone have any advice on how to work on this? I want a relationship but it terrifies me too.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Totally up to you. You have to WANT to become open and available and - yep, VULNERABLE again. You have to be willing to let yourself be possibly hurt again. Scary as shit I know but the choice is yours to make and you alone and no one can get you there but you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Very cool question and very difficult to give you a satisfactory answer. I think many people can relate to this and it is a very challenging time. Personally, I found it extremely hard to achieve this after my last strong relationship. I always had shorter relationships after that one because I wasn't able to get rid of my emotional baggage. Time is a good healer and it also helped me to say to myself that I will try really hard for someone special. If you then do that in a relationship that helped me heal extremely well. It also made me stronger. Best of luck to you!

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  • being in a relationship means you know you have to trust em before anything else and taking the risk of being hurt. used to be scared, now i value myself too much to let someone belittle my feelings or caring about my next that much to get hurt really bad

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  • Start by not being anon. Then let a person know you over time

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  • My advice is let yourself heal before dating someone else. It's not fair to you or the other person if you use them as a rebound or crutch.

    I'm seeing a girl right now who recently got out of a very long relationship and while she hasn't complained or really said anything about the ex, I still get mixed signals and some hot and cold behavior.

    No one likes feeling like they're walking on eggshells with someone all the time.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Stop dating until you are emotionally available, its not fair to the guys you are dating. Obviously dating is not helping you become more emotionally available.

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