What is the most common issue in a relationship?

I hear a lot of people have trust issues or communication issues, bad habits, etc. And that is why they have fights in the relationship, but what is the one issue that most couples fight about?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Entitlement, I want you to massage me every night or else
    2. High expectations, you better never argue with me or else
    3. judgmental, you are such a cry baby get over it or else
    4. Narcissist, you do what I want but I don't have to do what you want
    5. Boundary issues, everything is your fault including why I am mad at my boss
    6. Money, I don't want to budget so spend as much as you want but I will hate you if you spend too much
    7. Immature, I have to spend $1000000 that we don't have! I have to spend a night with that hot person with out you because I like them, are you jealous? Then you must be stupid
    8. Immoral, I am not going to explain this
    9. One person is addicted to something bad, drugs?
    10. Kids, seriously... not even going there but I know some people break up because they thought having kids would bring them closer

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Money or sex.

    Communication can sometimes resolve issues but not always. So lack of communication compounds thjngs.

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What Girls Said 17

  • From my experience as a therapist I have to say almost every issue boils down to an issues with communication. The hard part is that you need to really understand what's going on within yourself before you can effectively communicate. Learning to speak with "I language" can help - I feel hurt when you leave without saying good bye VS you make me feel hurt when... This help both parties stay out of defensiveness and keep them listening better.

    The five love languages is also a great resource in communicating love and concern (they have a free quiz on the site).

    Money becomes an issue due to miscommunication, same with sex and religion. The easier it is to communicate with a partner the less likely they are to bottle things up and explode at some random ® annoyance.

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  • Can't speak for others but in mine it's definitely lack of communication. One person bottles emotions up and then kaboom things go crazy. Or someone isn't considerate towards the other when talking or doesn't communicate properly.

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    • 2mo

      Yea thats very true! I think the way you communicate is very important. Sometimes we attack each other when we try telling our S. O about our feelings or we become defensive. Happened to me with my ex. She would be like " please listen to me, you make me feel this way, you do this, you are an asshole" yet she wanted me to comfort her after that lol.

  • I cannot answer that question because I believe there is no one common issue. Couples will argue about a number of things depending on the relationship. So why am I even answering the question? Because the one common issue in a relationship has to do with the basis of whether a relationship moves forward or fits a brick wall. RESPECT! Do you respect your partner? Do you value their opinion? Do you see their point of view? I am not talking about what I consider idiotic expressions such as, "well I respect her so I don't cheat," or "will he respect me if I sleep with him," or I respect her too much cannot wait until we get married." That type of use of the word is baloney.
    I'm speaking of intellectual respect, academic respect, emotional respect and respect as another human being. Do you consider your partner your equal or do you look down on him or her? When she says something do you consider it or do dismiss it as coming from someone who is not your equal. You smarter than her so what she says doesn't count. Or in my case, I'm smarter than he is so what he says doesn't matter.

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    • 2mo

      If you fight because there is a lack of that kind of respect so his or her input doesn't count that he will fight about anything and everything. Well I would prefer the downstairs bathroom to be red with white contrast. Even the toilet seat should be a shade of red. (Well he's a fucking idiot so the bathroom should be blue with white contrast and I don't care what he says) that is a dismissal of your partners input not based on red, white or blue but rather based on your lack of respect for his input. You know darn well that the colors of the bathroom is a minor issue but your dismissal of his input is the major problem.

      I cannot answer that question because I believe there is no one common issue. Couples will argue about a number of things depending on the relationship. So why am I even answering the question?

    • 2mo

      Sure hope I got everything in. I'm screwing up the copy paste please excuse me

  • 1. Conflicting Ideals, views, morals and hidden intentions: I can't tell you how many times I've seen and hear over the years about the REAL reasons they get into relationships. One person wants to do something else, while the other doesn't. One wants to or have changed. The other doesn't nor do they change.

    2. Dishonesty: Is another problem amongst teens and adults alike. Marriage included. There is always somebody putting up with a lot of things they don't like. But then were also dealing with people who meet the next major issue.

    3. Selfishness: To be honest, this needs to be number 1. 80% of people around the world just doesn't get it that you have to die to self! A relationship cannot thrive on selfishness. Now if your holding back for certain reasons that is against your views or morals, then it needs to be addressed. And many people ends up right back to #2, being dishonest.

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  • usually miscommunication, so a couple need to be smart in handling stress, if one of them is in anger/upset, the other one need to be the calmer, cooler and the one who listen and understand. so, relationship need tolerance, as two people are different and unique from each other

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  • Sex !!!

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    • 2mo

      How important is sex for you in a relationship from 1 to 10? (10 being extremely important)

    • 2mo

      10 ... a lot of men need the physical part that sex provides, it also gives many opportunities to show your man you appreciate him it allows you to spend time together.. without a healthy sex life I think most relationships would fail.

    • 2mo

      Exactly! I agree with you on that!🖒

  • Probably finances. Money issues

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  • Insecurity. All the biggest and most common issues all come down to insecurity.

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  • Money.

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  • Always work on communication. I have learned this the hard way. You cannot communicate well enough, always work on it.

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  • Id say communication and baggage. It could be baggage from childhood or a relationship.

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  • Definitely communication issues.

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  • trust issues

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  • Money

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  • jealousy

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  • Trust and lack of communication I would imagine.

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  • In the begining I was a little guarded, can't say we fought about it though. He wasn't a huge fan of some of my friends but we really didn't fight about that either. We are both easy going and considerate when it comes to each other which is important. if he says he needs something I hop up an do it no problem, he forgets to do something and I do it and he does the same for me. He had girl friends that we re into him when we first got together but I didn't care and I was still really close with my ex and had lots of guy friends... we trusted eachother. I don't know. We have been together for 13years now though, married for 9.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Usually refusal to compromise.

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    • 2mo

      Thats one of the biggest for sure. Compromising is so hard to do when you're in a relationship.

    • 2mo

      But it shouldn't be.

    • 2mo

      Yea it shouldn't be but some people dont understand that when you're with someone is not always your way or only what you want. It has to be fair.

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