Is He Still Not Over His Maniac of an Ex?

I'm "with" a guy (not sure where we stand title wise) who chased me for months until I gave in an gave him a chance. I really enjoy him in every way. However, he stated he wanted to take things slow with me, but insists on having sex. I go along with it but honestly I'm not comfortable with our process in the relationship department. I sense that he still has feelings for his ex even though they ended things over a year ago (they were together for 4 years). He's told me about her: She's Bipolar, won't take her meds (it's why they broke up), has 5 kids of different fathers, goes from relationship to relationship (seen all this firsthand), and was abusive to him when they were together. How they lasted 4 years is beyond me but they went to couple's counciling and it still didn't work out. I'm sure she left an impression on him and they have a child together, so understandably so. However, I feel like maybe the past is limiting our progression. He was the one who wanted me so bad yet seems emotionally impeded. I like to think I'm upbeat and stable. I don't want to pay her debts though. It's like if he can tolerate all the BS she put him through, why should I have to go through all these hoops to have him commit to me? Why would he chase me for so long if I wasn't worth committing to? I'm just scared I'm investing all my time, money, and resources into someone who will never be there for me emotionally. I've told him I love him and he always changes the subject. I do love him and I understand he has gone through a lot of pain, but I'm sort of at the mercy of this guy and I would think he has to prove to me instead of me proving myself to him.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Your with a guy who's playing you, I've been there its ambiguous because that's how he feels about you.
    The story of him and her reads as all her fault, in every relationship there are wrongs and rights on both sides, yet in his tale it's a one sided account where he is the victim, when a woman is single and has child free time she can do who and what she pleases. It also shows in how he is with you as the victim facade you yourself are questioning, as now you are being reeled into the same cycle of blame projection ("he wants/thinks you should prove to him").
    He may have chased you to line you up, as an immediate replacement, or bargain jealousy chip to reel the ex back and it didn't work and somehow you're together, maybe he really fancied you and it was a buzz felt good who knows, but he's obviously not as invested now and expecting you to return the chase so to speak but true love and lust are done in want of later repayment but for the moments!

    Sorry to be blunt dump him save your time whilst your with him you can't meet a decent man who's right for you and that ex and kids ain't going away it's a lifetime thing
    He doesn't tell you he loves you because he doesn't

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  • Yeah he is not

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