Why has he started acting so strange recently?

I've known this guy for years, he would be part of my extended group of friends, and I used to have the biggest crush on him. A few weeks ago we kissed on a night out, he messaged me as soon as he got home that night and we have been texting ever since. He told his friends he likes me and was acting very interested. Last week he asked me out for a drink the following night to which i accepted. However, the entire next day I never heard from him confirming meeting up so I went out with other friends. Ever since he asked me out he's been very distant - taking a day or more to reply but when he does reply they're long, engaging texts as if nothing has changed. My question is, can a guy really lose interest that quickly or what is he playing at?


Most Helpful Guy

  • How are we supposed to know. All we can do is guess.

    Yes, some people do suddenly become infatuated with someone only to loose interest soon after. I knew someone like that in HS.

    It's also possible he wasn't all that interested in you in the first place.

    Maybe there was something he heard about you or there was an asumption he made about you that turned him off. I can only speak for myself but there are definitely things I could hear about a girl that would make me lose interest pretty fast.

    Maybe something happened in his life like drama with family, illness, depression etc. and that caused him to isolate himself. However, if that were true he would also be acting more distant with his other friends.

    This part stuck out to me "so I went out with other friends. Ever since he asked me out he's been very distant "

    So similar to what the anon girl said, maybe there was some sort of miscommunication when he asked you out for drinks. So if he -thought- he set up a time or was waiting for you to pick a time then its possible he interpreted you hanging out with friends as blowing him off and expressing disinterest.

    Last guess is that you're over analyzing and that he didn’t actually lose interest. You did say his responses are long and engadging.


Most Helpful Girl

  • When a guy really wants something he doesn't play because he doesn't want anyone having the prize but him. Once you give a guy what he wants he's "gone" maybe not physically but you don't feel the spark in the atmosphere from him. It's like running a marathon, once that person is trying to catch up and pass the finish line it becomes complicated because there is so much left on the race to go for. For instance, they've been running for 3 days in an obstacle course and this prize will forever remain in they're hearts if they win. NOW, You have someone who takes steroids that was given to him by a doctor and cheats his way through the race. He goes pass the ribbon and he wins.

    The question is, if I finished a race why am I continuously running after what? The race is over and I received the trophy that I never kept on my shelf. The only trophies I kept was the trophies I had back in middle school when I ran a race and won fairly from determination, consistency, time and faith.

    The moral of the story is, a guy can see you as that trophy or was probably running that marathon but after all if you didn't have him working for that kiss then he'll eventually stop keeping in contact. A guy can think you're attractive but might not like you, like you but doesn't want to date you, wants to date you but doesn't want to be seen with you, wants to be seen with you but isn't thinking of a long-term relationship with you. Don't be too quick to jump the bridge just because you "think" that's what it is. Perhaps, the kiss was an infatuated feeling and he could've thought it meant but when he actually took the shot he probably noticed that wasn't what he wanted. It happens but as I was always told it's best to see and hear the bitter trust because when the conversation is getting shorter with you then it's getting longer with someone else.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Could he be nervous? Is he taking the day to formulate the perfect message? Is he perhaps not wanting to rush into things/ not seem too eager?

    It doesn't sound like he's losing interest.

  • Maybe he was waiting for you to ask about the date, when and where you will meet, and since you didn't do that, he thought you might not want to go on a date with him? But I could be wrong.

  • Yes he's lost interest