If a guy says 'Yo be honest I just want to be friends' does that mean that theirs no chance we could ever be more?

I like a co worker. I told him how i felt via message. He said "Thank you for seeing me as a good person. To be honest i just want to be friends. Nothing will ever effect our friendship" Cause i told him i did not want it to be awkward with each other.

We flirt and tease each other and joke with each other alot!
Still do even after telling him how i felt.

i should of expected that response. He had told me he had a troubled past (Drugs, Alcohol, you name it) and he turned his life around in last three years. He said he also lost 'the love of his life " to having this troubled past. other co workers told me he is probably very insecure right now and doesn't want to get hurt again. so he's acting like a total bachelor but he's not really. Like he will be like all the girls want me. But then he will put himself down after he says it. like he says stuff like ' i dont ever want to live with a girl" "Girls are too crazy to handle"

So what do you think i should do?
I want to be sexy and flirty with him so he's like damn ! and maybe change his mind? or see me more than a friend. Co workers have said i give off more a friend vibe to him. and i joke and tease as a friend. Not someone who likes him.

But i want to stay friends with him too! , i am scared ill always be a 'Friend" and when he decides he is finally ready for a relationship and a girlfriend he won't like me or whatever.

advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No it doesn't, all you have to do is be a good friend, respect his boundaries and always be there for him and if he's attracted to you at all he will come around. You just have to give these sort of things time especially cause of his past and stuff.

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    • 2mo

      I asked him if it was me he just wasn't attracted to or if it was from being hurt in his past is why he wanted to be just friends. He never answered. So I don't know what to think

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't waste your time waiting for him to maybe one day decide to like you. Remain friends but don't let it keep you from finding someone else. There may come a day when he decides he's ready or there may not or he might find someone one day.

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    • 2mo

      well, he could want me or like me. but right now he's not ready or doesn't want anything. He didn't say whether right now he's just not ready for a relationship or if he just doesn't find me attractive.

What Guys Said 5

  • he has issues from the past that need resolved.. the way to do that is relationships (which aggravate it) and counseling. he needs to work on that.

    If you bait him you are going to be in for a ride unless you are sweet as sugar, and I haven't met that many girls who are.

    you might play it direct, Be sexy with him and flirty but tell him straight up he needs to get counseling to clear up that stuff so it doesn't control his whole life. But tell him you want to be front and center when he's ready and he's got some great rewards if he can do it. That way, he is going into pain and he has a reward to do it... just like a good little doggie:)

    The "love of his life" was probably a girl that reminded him of someone else but was bad for him. Love can be sick. maybe yours is as well, time will tell...

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  • Yes you have been friend zoned and the only way out now is to start dating other people and move on while he is getting his shit together. I would stop flirting with him as that will only make it worse, just be friendly like with any other work friend. Also consider the fact that you are coworkers if the relationship did not work out things could get very awkward at work so maybe that worries him too.

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  • how come, when a guy "just wants to be friends", the girl is butt hurt, but, when a girl says it, the guys not allowed to be butt hurt about it?

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  • Move along

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  • Probably

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What Girls Said 0

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