Can I change, is it still possible?

I am 24 and i messed my life up. I seriouy regret my actions and i want to change. I never had a boyfriend, never had close friends etc. I feel like i can't handle life, i want to achieve something in my life, i want love a family one day etc. I grew up with a depressed mom and i became heartless after a few situations in my life. What can i do? I live at home still, but i need a change, am i too late to live? Dont be optimistic be realistic please.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Get out of your home first. Being away from your mother will give you more time to reflect on yourself and how you are the way you are and the why. People can change but only if they really want to. I was in an emotionally abusive family (physically abusive before that) and it messed me up, I moved out and spent several years just reflecting on myself and who I was and why I was the way I was. Slowly over time I began to change stopped being shy stopped being as angry stopped being afraid of others judgment. When I was young I couldn't handle being touched it was awkward and any interaction didn't seem genuine to me now I am what you call a hugger, I fear no judgment (in fact I can share way to much information with anybody) I have no problem expressing emotions but all of this happened gradually and with deliberate training and reflection. So realisticly yes you can change, no it won't be fast, yes you will still have your baggage yes it will be manageable given time, no its not to late. But only if you want it only if you dedicate yourself to the task. Get out of your comfort zone and you will be forced to learn coping mechanism to deal with it which will help and then the more you do it the more they become second nature and then finally after enough time it will become nature, it will be apart of you. But again this all takes deliberate practice and it may take the rest of your life before (if ever) you have fully recovered (I have come along ways but I still have my issues like lack of ambition which was crushed at a young age, but I'm getting better and hopefully will recover at least to some degree). It will hurt and it will be uncomfortable and you won't want to do it and you will have to any way. That is the reality both positive and negative but that's what life is in general.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your life doesn't sound messed up. We all regret our actions we made in our lives. at least you acknowledge them you want to give it a change. Then make it happen. You only 24. Go out to social gatherings, church, gym like any place you can meet and interact with new people. You will make new friends and eventually meet a guy. Having a depressed mom is not so great but it's not the worst situation. Plenty people are from divorced parents, parents suicide, abusive like so many horrible stories out there.
    I'm 25 I still live at home. Plenty of my friends in my age still live with their parents. Just have confidence and belief in yourself and move on. Live your life. Learn to appreciate yourself and people/things around you. You are only 24 there's so much great things and fun waiting for you

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What Guys Said 16

  • It's difficult to answer when you are vague about details, but, realistically, education is the best way to change your life for the better. Learn a skill, get a degree, take training. It doesn't matter so long as it somewhat interests you. It leads to financial independence, confidence, self esteem, and (here's the optimistic part—sorry I can't help myself) happiness.

    Good luck to you!

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  • I just went from making $60,000 a year for five years recovering alcoholic fell off the wagon and within two months I lost my house lost my job and I'm staying with a friend and his wife in a one bedroom apartment. It was hard at first after I got out of detox i'm 34 I manned up and delt with my mistake. Every day I struggled to not let what happened get the best of me bring me down and I finally got my feet picked up everybody has struggles you're definitely not alone. my advice to you is the outcome hasn't happened yet you still can choose how it ends keep your chin up. we live and we learn make yourself believe that in a month from now you'll look back in and think I was stupid for thinking about even giving up. Good luck

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    • 2mo

      I had a traumatic past, i battled illness atca young age.

    • 2mo

      I'm sorry to hear that my prayers go out to you and I hope you find the strength to get you where you want to be.

    • 2mo

      How? Nit having good friends makes it harder

  • Of course you can change. I was pretty unhappy until I was 40, finally saw a therapist, got out of a horrible marriage, now I'm married to a beautiful woman who is crazy about me. You are only 24 and you haven't made any irrevocable mistakes, and you are taking the first step which is wanting to change. Now you need to: decide what you want your life to be like, and then make a plan to get there, and then act on the plan. Good luck.

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  • No u are not.. Make some short term goals that when reached will bring u closer to new levels of success in society and your life. U don't need friends or s/o u need $$$.. ur short term goals could include getting a car, a place, etc. Remember its only too late when ur dead.

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  • Yeah it's pretty easy to change. Go to University make a few friends join a few clubs. You could even spend a semester abroad so you can do things. You are 23 years old you are your own support system. Just stop making excuses and improve your own life.

    Can you answer my question.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2112691-was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-the-money-back

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  • I mean tbh, yeah you can change, but to who? and how?
    Know what you want to be and take the steps to get there. If you really can't find a way to make it work out, then use it as your power.

    for example..
    I had not many friends and was a fucking loser in cps, but when they kicked me to the street, I took that shit by the balls and made it mine. I'm now strong, independent, badass, and have contacts for anything I could need...

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  • I've been down that road. I have hit rock bottom. I sought the Lord to help me and he has. It is hard and some times you just want to. give up. You can't. Love again. Accept people for who they are.

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  • You realized that you need to change that's already the most important step. Now write down your goals. What do u want to achieve in your life? And then divide it in many smaller goals and start achieving it. It's never too late. by the way when u write down your goals be precise and also write when u want to a circle them

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  • You're 24 not 104. Of course you have time to change. I'm not the man I was at 18 and that was only 4 years ago.

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  • Everyone can change, the question is DO YOU want to change. If yes then start right now.

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  • Everybody have their own downside of life. Just get real and push forward. You are only 24, well, some people are already died before being 24. You don't have friend? Go make one! There are a lot of social media to get in touch with people. There is never too late expect when you are giving up already.

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  • You are still young. If i were you id search for a job (if you dont already have one) and start to save some money to eventually start to live a new life on your own

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  • It's never too late to change

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  • never too late to change.

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  • Maybe yes, but maybe no, honestly.

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  • Im not going to lie and say you haven't missed out, because you have. However, the longer you go without making a change, the more you will miss out on.

    Best to at least salvage what you still can.

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you don't have a job, get one. Save money and focus on moving out. A change of environment is all it takes sometimes to feel better about yourself. Plus having a goal to work towards keeps you focused on the right thing which hopefully prevents you from making any more poor decisions. But it takes some discipline. One day at a time.

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  • It's never too late to make changes in your life. I'm certain that plenty of people would love to have you as a friend. If you want to make friends, you could join a young adults club or volunteer. At your age, you can go to college. I made a few friends in college.

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  • You can always change. It is never late.

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