What is wrong with being emotionally distant with your partner?

What about personal spaces in relationships?


0|1
23|35

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a Private Opinion
    Only the asker and the opinion owner can view it. Learn more

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well it defeats the point of a relationship.

    I'm in a relationship with someone who I am very emotionally connected with and I still have personal space. I just take personal time to myself if that's something I need, but if you act emotionally distant it's a clear indicator that you aren't connected to that person on an emotional level, which can heavily impact your levels of communication, affection, etc.

    If you don't want to be emotionally close then in my opinion it's better to just be single.

    2|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I am not in a relationship but I don't understand the need to act lovey dovey on a daily basis even when you don't want to

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      You're welcome.

    • 2mo

      😄😄

What Guys Said 34

  • Because the biggest part of a relationship is feeling that connection. That closeness with another person. Being emotionally distant is choosing to not share that with your partner and it's perhaps the most important part of to a relationship.

    Most people that get into relationships (assuming they aren't with the person out of fear or necessity) do so they can relish in that feeling. That's how you grow together and grow closer. Usually emotional distance is coupled with a breakup shortly afterwards.

    3|1
    0|0
  • There's nothing wrong with personal space. Just as long as you and your spouse are OK with such amount of said space between you. Some people want to be close all the time, and other's want to do their hobbies on their own and then come together for specific dedicated time. It's truly dependent on what the healthiest manner is for both you and your SO.

    3|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I don't have a boyfriend but I liked your opinion

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Oh sorry, I said " As that. As that will lead to a higher level of healthiness and happiness in that relationship.".

    • 2mo

      Ohh okay thanks 😊

  • Personal space is wayyyyy different then being emotionally distant

    5|2
    1|0
    • 2mo

      I asked what is wrong with being emotionally distant. Not comparing personal space and emotionally distance

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      There's different levels of being clingy. Messaging everyday is not clingy , but needing to be with someone 24/7 is too clingy. So you are misunderstanding and assuming. It's important to have personal space , and time to do things with friends or alone too

      Emotionally distant people have a fear of commitment. That's not even a relationship, never mind unhealthy relationship. A lot of people need therapy due to being emotionally distant from people. They can't build relationships, or get close to anyone. So emotional distance is a deal breaker for me. Regardless if that annoys you or not. My opinion will never change or be challenged. So it's futile to try to sway my opinions.

      It's your prerogative to be with an emotionally distant guy, like it's my perogative to be with an emotionally available guy.

      @ivoiriangirl20

    • 2mo

      @Victoriann You felt attacked by my opinion LOL who said I wanna to change your point of view? And no I don't therapy, I don't believe a person will change my life. If my question bothers so much, why would you answer it anyway?

  • Personal space is important, however, being in relationship is much more inclusive than that. Making excuses like this will not add anything in fact it will hinder the growth. It is understable to have space, but when you don't communicate with your partner... well then you have a shit relationship.

    3|0
    0|0
  • hugh? need more clarity.

    You want to be roomates? where you share equal responsibilities... but often time things aren't divied up so evently? Without emotional security, safety and closeness it is harder to be in the same place than it is to be single. That said, there is nothing wrong with having your own space at times, we all need that... especially us introverts.

    The question makes me think you have some emotional wounds you will have to deal with to have a good relationship.

    1|0
    1|0
  • What is wrong?

    Well being emotionally distant for a long period of taking and taking personal spaces for a long period of time will inevitably result in break up. Sooner or later that will happen.

    1|0
    0|0
  • There is nothing wrong with it people need space. As long as your not keeping some dark bad secret from your past

    1|0
    0|0
  • Most people want a relationship for closeness. If you need to keep your distance, why do you want a relationship? Are you and your partner "on the same page" with this thinking?

    1|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I'm not in a relationship

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Okay. If you ever want to talk about the subject, feel free to PM me.

    • 2mo

      Okay thanks 😊

  • You are meant to have a close emotional connection with your SO. Getting space now and then is not the same thing.

    2|0
    1|0
    • 2mo

      I'm really gonna get mad. 97% of y'all didn't answer my question

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I did and explained the reasoning behind it. If that's not satisfactory to you then that's your problem, you should be more specific in what you're after since a lot of people seem to be misinterpreting what you think you're asking.

    • 2mo

      Funny. If you're not happy with my question, why bother answering? Want some internet fight? 😂😂

  • Having a space is fine. Being distant is not. At some point, people in a relationship have to trust each other and share their lives, to the point there is few to no individual space, because there is enough trust to share nearly anything. Of course people are gonna have their secrets and stuff, but most of that kinda goes away.

    3|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Sometimes, it's not everything that you gotta tell your partner (I don't have one)

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Thanks

    • 2mo

      You're welcome 😄 See I'm not that bad

  • Well if you are in a relationship you are supposed to be emotionally close. If you want to be emotionally distant then either don't be in a relationship or find someone just like you and date them.

    Could you answer my question.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2112691-was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-the-money-back

    1|0
    0|0
  • I absolutely agree. I'm dating a younger girl who wants to know everything about me and I'm not an open book.
    I think just because you are intimate with each other doesn't warrant the other to demand full "marriage-like" commitment.

    1|3
    1|0
  • thats just an excuse people come up with to cheat or to break up, so anyone who thinks they want space in a relationship shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. and are obviously not in love at all.

    2|0
    1|0
  • There's a difference between having personal space and being distant. The former is when you reserve time for yourself but you still gladly share it with your SO whenever you can. The latter is when you want to spend little time with them.

    3|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I don't wanna know the difference for the million times just tell me in your opinion why it's wrong

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Not everyday but I will talk to then

  • I think that this will result in an unhappy relationship lol

    2|0
    0|0
  • There is nothing wrong, some people just fell insecure when there is some space and start paranoia "Does she still likes me" "Is she cheating on me", "is she flirting with other dudes" "Does she think im bad at bed?"
    those kind of questions that insecure people tend to have in a relationship the more space you have the more insecure they get.
    Is not your fault, but you can't really blame them.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Personal space is essential for me , now a single dad , I don't miss having a woman in my life , in fact I prefer it , life is less complicated.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Thank your for your opinion

    • 2mo

      You're welcome !! There is an increasing trend of people opting to stay single , mainly because decent people are so rare !! Also the genders are wired so differently , women & men are poles apart in most respects , so conflict is inevitable in relationships.

    • 2mo

      Yeah I agree

  • Those are 2 different things. Personal space is one thing. If you want emotional space then why are you in a relationship?

    1|0
    1|0
  • You already know how I feel...

    I should point out though, I believe there is a huge difference between personal space and emotionally distant.

    2|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      If I know how you feel, why the need to answer again? You're getting addicted

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      You're like my opposite. I'm not good at taking teasing or bluntness.

    • 2mo

      I knew this already. Have you ever been bullied when you were younger? If yes, I can understand

  • Well if you're too distant then you aren't exactly really together.

    2|2
    0|0
  • Wow what a relationship

    2|0
    1|0
  • Depends on the partner. Some need a strong emotional attachment others less so.

    2|0
    0|0
  • What @rjroy3 said. A key part about relationship is a conncetion and closeness. This means you eventually stop being distant and start being vulnerable.

    1|1
    0|0
  • No point in being in a relationship if You are emotionally distant...

    Personal space is a different thing... But being distant from them for a long time means the relationship is over already...
    Plus you won't be able to have a proper relationship your whole life...
    Relationship is not a joke... it takes work... You have to be close to that person...

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      When I say emotional distance, I meant by not being lovey dovey

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Yup your were

    • 2mo

      LOL you weren't there with me. All you did was assuming

  • I'm emotionally distant and would appreciate someone similar.

    1|0
    0|0
  • The whole point of a relationship is to be emotionally connected with your partner. If you prefer being emotionally distant but still want sex just consider having casual sex. Im similar to you where I like being emotionally distant to others. Doesn't help that a majority of emotions I feel are other peoples emotions.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I don't want sex before marriage

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Well no need to be a bitch to me for telling you emotionally distant relationships dont make sense. Why don't you get your head out of your own deluded world and accept that if you want a relationship you need to open up. Fucking piece of shit calling me dumb when you know what reality is. And for your information, learn to not be stubborn and rude. No one would want to date a bitch like you. Enjoy being single

    • 2mo

      YOU DUMB FUCK!!! Why does it offends you so much that I am telling the truth? SOMEBODY NEEDS A GIRLFRIEND

  • No such thing in the institution of relationship or marriage. Stay single if you want your own space

    1|0
    1|0
    • 2mo

      I am single. I was just wondering

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Asker... Didn't know !! Of course you have right to your question... But you asked what's wrong with emotional distance... If you can't fathom what my answer is.. Then maybe you should stop being so defensive and listen to some real wisdom instead of of just your set of facts

    • 2mo

      Okay. Fuck off, seriously

  • Nothing wrong with being emotionally distant
    but with people with mental health issues it
    sort of makes us think our partner is mad at us
    or dislikes us for a reason or another so it can be bad.

    2|0
    0|0
  • nothing wrong with that, unless your keeping any bad or dark secret from your partner or your cheating on them behind their back

    0|0
    0|0
  • there's everything that is wrong with it cause you're basically saying that I don't have any feelings for you

    1|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    4

What Girls Said 22

  • Its wrong because real relationships have an emotional connection. Im currently in a more casual relationship, and the reason for that is because we are not emotionally connected, like at all. If we were we would probably think about pursuing a relationship.

    Emotional connection is being able to turn to your partner when you need them, like when you're going through something tough. Im not gonna go to my casual partner and pour out my upset feelings about someone who's dying or if Im going through a rough patch in life, thats the thing I will do in a relationship, I can rely on them to be there for me. That is emotional closeness. If there isn't any of that then why are you really in a relationship to begin with?

    You can absolutely be emotionally close with someone and still have personal space. Emotional closeness does not mean to be lovey dovey all the time, neither does it mean to be completely be up someones business all the damn time. In fact someone who is emotionally close to a person will most likely understand when their partner needs their space because they understand them and know them truly as a person.

    Lastly, the definition of relationship is "the emotional and sexual association between two people". So if you take away the emotional parts of the relationship then all thats left is the sex and with just that you're better off as a casual partners. Take away the "sexual association" then in my opinion we'd be better off as friends. Emotional connection in my opinion is vital in any "healthy" relationship.

    However everyone's preferred relationships differs between individuals, so people who don't like to be open in a relationship at all would be best with someone who isn't open as well. There needs to be compatibility. And only then is it acceptable to be emotionally distant in a relationship if your partner likes that as well.

    3|1
    0|0
  • Personal space means not snooping and looking into your s/o's e-mail or text message conversations without them giving you the okay.
    Being emotionally distant means acting non-interested. Not answering their phone calls, not being receptive to any affectionate gestures made by them like a kiss or a snuggle.

    What's wrong with being emotionally distant? I can only imagine my boyfriend not enjoying a kiss or cuddling if he was emotionally checked out. Relationships are something formed by two people who care for each other (emotionally), not just sexually. So you should be able to connect the dots on your own at this point.

    2|0
    1|0
  • If your with someone and you want to stay committed and its serious then you should also be emotionally invested its just as important as being physically committed to your partner, I mean whats the point of being in a relationship with someone if you can not emotionally connected... most people connect on a emotional level before a physical level.. also how would you work out trust issues or any problems in general if you could not emotionally be present... to me there is no point of a relationship if both parties are not emotionally involved, love itself is based off emotions and physical attraction... otherwise all you have is a business arrangement.. while you need to present in a relationship and give and take, everyone NEEDS to have some sort of personal space and time to themselves if you never do then you will go nutts, everyone deserves "me" time but to a extent and that being said people still need to respect there partners wishes and feelings while having me time... sometimes people will take "me" time and space as a insult or think automatically they are cheating but in fact in a healthy relationship when things are communicated properly this tends to happen a lot less.. so I say if you need "me" time then take it, and if you need space communicate properly to your partner, but if your emotionally disconnecting/distancing yourself more then you are present then there is a bigger deal to look at

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I don't have any boyfriend but my ex thought I didn't care about the relationship

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      You just focused on my question and forgot to look at my replies. How stupid are you?

    • 2mo

      Apparently really considering I've wasted time on someone who obviously does not understand the concept of asking a question for a opinion and referencing her relationship and when anyone has a opinion different from her own she becomes angry and irrational and jumps to negative impulses and actions.. sorry my dear but you have some growing up to do, if you dont want opinions or your relationship to referenced in a conversation then dont bring it up ore reference it all. And seemingly if you are gods gift to man kind you off all people would know that not everyone has perfect signal strength where they live, so do us a favor take you ass back to college because clearly you need to educate yourself. With that kind of attitude no wonder you keep attracting what you refer to as "fuck boys" ... and maybe you are just a distant cold bitch, you have a very stand off personality and its not attractive clearly others have told you the same, your looks won't last forever my dear.. now piss off

  • I think being emotionally distant and wanting your own space are two different things. There's nothing wrong with wanting your own spacing. I truly understand that. One minute I'm all cuddly, the next I'm reading a book or sitting outside by myself and any human interaction is like a fly buzzing around me. The issue with being emotionally distant is that you still have another persons feelings to consider. It's your partner and the whole reason of being together is so you have someone share your soul with I. e. your emotions. Not doing this (at least with any caring person) makes them feel less or as if their not doing anything right. Take all the space you need just remember them at the end of the day and never take them for granted.

    2|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I know they are two different things but I agree with the rest of your opinion

  • Being emotionally distant is not the same as having personal space. Being emotionally distant leads to a partner feeling lost and alone and unloved. It's often when you won't open up or express love or show any basic form of affection which most people need when in a relationship. Having personal space doesn't make the person doubt your relationship or feel insecure.

    0|0
    1|0
    • 2mo

      Well being in a relationship whatsoever ain't just about feelings

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Your partner. When you're in a relationship you have to consider the other person as well. And if you're not giving them what they need in a relationship then maybe you guys aren't the right fit for each other. Some people can be really needy, so either you help them work on it and come to a conclusion where they don't feel neglected but you can also have your space, or you find someone else who better matches how much alone time you both need in a relationship. But you can't just be like "I NEED MY OWN SPACE" with no regard to how they feel, and leave them out in the cold.

    • 2mo

      I don't why I always attract needy people not independant people like me

  • Nothing, if you don't mind them cheating on you or leaving you at some point. People crave intimacy in both the emotional and physical sense. When you isolate yourself and intentionally put up walls, you push them away. Being yourself and having a private side is one thing; being emotionally distant though is just harmful.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You need to be somewhat emotionally close to be able to form a romantic relationship. Otherwise it can't qualify as such. So yeah being too distant is a bad thing. Cause in a healthy relationship you need to have that close emotional connection.

    3|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Thank you for answering my question correctly 😄😄 Many here haven't

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I don't even know why I'm still wasting my time over a girl WHO THINKS she knows me based on Internet. Girl, bye 👋👋👋

    • 2mo

      I never said I know you, in fact I said quite the opposite. You might wanna pay more attention when you read something. I am just giving you some helpfull advice. Try to understand what I am telling you, if you can fix your attitude I am sure life will go lots smoother for you. People will like you more and relationships will be more worthwhile. No one wants to hang around a mean person

  • There a difference wanting some me time then making a person feeling like they don't love them. If they can't handle you want to be alone sometimes then you got a clingy bitch.

    1|2
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I thought I was the only one who thinks that way!!!

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      OMG I felt that way too with my ex and I kept saying I like him over and over I realize I stop liking him a long time ago and I was not happy his stupid ass. Thank god he left me and then this bitch try to come back LOL

    • 2mo

      Really? 😂😂 Oh fuck

  • Being too distant makes you come off as cold, closed off and disinterested.

    1|0
    0|0
  • The basis for a relationship is emotional intimacy nothing else, not sex, not time. Without that there is nothing.

    2|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Why there is nothing? I don't need to be lovey dovey with my boyfriend (suppose I have one)

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Being affectionate is not emotional distance at all

    • 2mo

      That is my point. I don't wanna be affectionate all the time

  • Nothing wrong with that. We all need space it's human nature.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Personal space and emotionally distant is two separate things.

    Personal space is just having "me time." Usually there is no issues at all whatsoever when both partners (in this instant) want time to do their own things.

    Emotionally distant is just emotionally not connected with the other partner. Usually issues that have not been resolved or even communicated across the two.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      You have not answer the question. I asked WHY it was wrong

    • 2mo

      Emotionally distant- issues between two people. Which lacks in connection, lacks closeness

      Personal space- too much of it can mislead the other person. Isolating oneself. Getting "detached" here and there is fine. Along period of months to years, is not.

  • Personal space and emotionally distant are two different things.

    That said, what either of these things mean differ from person to person. In a relationship, you need to figure out that balance.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Why it is so difficult for all of you to give an actual answer without talking about what is different between emotional distance vs personal space? Then people will say I'm a bitch who's too blunt/mean

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Haha and I suppose that's exactly what you're doing? Stimulating your brain.

      Kiddo... you're literally doing the exact same thing I'm doing right now lol

    • 2mo

      Nope. Unlike you, I'm gonna act my age

  • Being emotionally distant from your partner on purpose is usually a form of punishment because you are hurt or angry or confused about something. It can only lead to more problems.

    Personal space is different.

    2|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      DAMN. I know it is different. I asked WHY it is wrong

    • 2mo

      I answered why it's wrong. You asked a question and then a follow up question. If you want to know the difference between the two then ask exactly that. Don't get all bent out of shape because you worded your question inadequately.

  • But distance is so different from personal space.

    1|0
    1|0
    • 2mo

      I didn't ask about the difference. I asked WHY it is wrong to be emotionally distant

  • Personal space and being emotionally distant are two different things. You can't be in a relationship with someone you feel isn't giving you anything.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      STOP GIVING ME THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EMOTIONAL DISTANCE VS PERSONAL SPACE. THAT IS NOT WHAT I ASKED

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Why bother answering if you thought my question was stupid? Girl stop wasting my time

    • 2mo

      Ignore her Shae... She is just a bitch

  • Everything is wrong with it. If you're like that then just don't be in a relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why are you with someone if you don't even want to connect with them?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Talking everything out is better than "personal space"

    0|0
    0|0
  • My ex was emotionally distant and would not make time for me. I soon got tired of trying to build that connection with him. Relationship ended.

    1|0
    0|0
  • that you dont seem to care about her feelings.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Space and being emotionally distant are two different things. Everyone needs their space but if you are purposely avoiding your SO by not sharing your thoughts or feelings (pretty much leading them to think that you are not interested) then thats horrible and you should not be in any relationship if you can't be open and honest. Thats part of the point of being in a relationship, to have someone to confide in and trust.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I have enough people telling me the fucking difference between emotional distance vs personal space? And you saying that I am a horrible person?

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      No but when you go off on people saying that they are not answering the question its not their fault they didn't understand the entire post or where you were trying to go with the question.

    • 2mo

      Not my fault if they didn't took time to think about my question before answering

Loading...