My boyfriend smokes TOO much weed?

Everyday. Before work (at 5am) and after work (a few bowls a night). I am not anti-weed, by any means. I think it's a great addition to any party. But it's beginning to feel like too much. He says he won't stop (or even cut down) if we have kids someday. Is this a dealbreaker?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah he has to go and the sooner the better. And I'm not just being so some uptight prick because I smoked my fair share of weed about 36 years ago. There comes a point when one has to grow up and apparently your boyfriend is nowhere near that and won't be for a long time. To make matters worse smoking weed now is a lot more expensive than when I was a kid so the money that he should be saving for things like retirement or a home or for a future marriage and kids is being burned every night in a joint or a bong or a bowl. You deserve better and you deserve it now.

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    • 2mo

      Thank you. I appreciate the older perspective on this issue. I think it's become so common in my generation that people think it's no big deal. But it is! You are wise in saying there are more important things to be saving for. I wish he could see it that way.

    • 2mo

      He will see it as soon as his car breaks down and he needs money to fix it but he doesn't have it because he spent it buying weed.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, my best friend became like that and we just aren't really friends anymore, for more reasons than that but it played a huge part. I don't have a huge problem with weed, but people who need it to get through the day. Do what you want, but we just can't be friends. People who do it at that extent just aren't the people I want to hang out with. My SO smokes a decent amount which I don't love but I have no business telling him he can't, just please don't be high when I come over or do it around me unless we agree to it. I think he's being kind of selfish to you. If smoking bothers you and he knows it, he should be respectable and take into consideration what you're saying. I think he needs an ultimatum. If not, he needs to go. Because he doesn't care about his potential children enough to give up something like that, or even cut back.

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What Guys Said 18

  • That's a tough situation. I had a girlfriend who smoked weed a fair amount, and me being someone who doesn't do drugs it was difficult to decide what to do. I stayed with her because I liked basically everything else about her and she didn't smoke cigarettes which I'm completely against, so I let it slide personally. However had it ended up being a long term relationship, I definitely would've wanted her to stop or at least cut down significantly (especially considering she would've been carrying our child). I'd say have a serious talk with him, if you don't want your future children to have a parent that's high half the time (which really is unfair to them) you may want to consider moving on.

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  • Back in my early 20s I was a heavy pot smoker. And I'm so glad I quit my clarity my motivation and my life is a lot better. I'm certainly not against anyone smoking weed but doing it all day every day can become an issue. I would really consider talking to him and seeing if this is going to be a forever thing or if he's going to grow out of it.

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    • 2mo

      Thank you. This is great advice. I think a serious talk is what we need.

  • You can make all the subtle suggestions you want but he will not curb his habit on your account. He has to make that decision on his own.
    Children, weed, and responsibility do not mix. Did I need to write that?

    Just my opinion

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    • 2mo

      I hate to admit that you're right. But you're right.

  • Yup way too much weed. he's addicted and won't change for the better. Deal breaker for me.

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    • 2mo

      Actually more concerned about it when I see your age. Assuming he's close to yours. He really needs to grow the fuck up. Kinda spells doesn't take responsibility for his own actions to me.

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    • 2mo

      Haha punny! He's never used my money and I would never let him... I would've left him a long time ago had that been the case. Either way, I sincerely appreciate your advice and honesty!!!

    • 2mo

      Im glad to hear that. Hey anytime! 😊 hope you figure what's best for you and your future

  • I'm thinking about getting medicinal weed to help me sleep at night. I would never be caught high in public though. Late twenties and that dude is smoking weed like that? Sounds like a loser tbh.

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  • That's your decision. Some people aren't as productive smoking weed, like myself, and others are the opposite. It all depends on how he is when he uses it and how it makes you feel when he's high.

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  • Buy him a PS4, might help...

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    • 2mo

      Already tried that. I'm a good girlfriend lol

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    • 2mo

      Yea I think that's where it becomes a problem or will be become one later on

      Can you still do stuff like live your life the way you want?

    • 2mo

      Right now, yes. His habits haven't affected my life, which is why I avoid bribing it to to him. But I'm worrierd that if the consistency continues. It will hurt us both

  • It would be for me

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  • I thinks so. I think he should let go of the weed after marriage

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  • Its fun to smoke some, but too much will disrupt your lives to both..

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  • It is serious because if he gets hurt at work and tested positive he can lose his job

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  • It depends. I don't want kids and the girl I'm banging is smoking hot, loves to get high on weed, and she also doesn't want kids. Her previous exes hated she was a pot smoker because they wanted kids. Lucky me! For your situation, which is really common sense, would be a resounding YES!

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  • If a motherf*cker doesn't meet your standards dump that loser as quick as you can.
    Get some self-respect, Damn!

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    • 2mo

      lol don't insult me! I have plenty of self respect. In fact, probably too much. I'm seriously asking for others perspectives on what is an appropriate amount of weed to smoke.

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    • 2mo

      Ok, then I'm sorry for assuming you were and thank you for your apology 😊 It's very easy to misinterpret through text.

    • 2mo

      Well.. I see where your both coming from and he does make good points and so do you it's just like you're 29 and your now figuring out what you want and what not you want and like I don't know it's just I knew what I want since I was 11... Sooo...

  • Oh wowww...

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  • For me yes

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  • That sounds like alot' when you have a new born. I don't know, it's your call. My brother stopped for a about a year each time he had my nephews.

    Yeah, if you want kids anytime soon this isn't gonna' be ok.

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  • I smoke before I go to work as well plus I have 40 weed plants in my basement. I salute that guy

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  • you're not anti weed, but you want him to stop? girl, you better make your mind on what you want

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    • 2mo

      I have made up my mind. I don't mind weed in social situations. I mind it as an everyday thing. I just need to decide whether this is something I can work through, or a reason to break up.

    • 2mo

      you're anti weed, but, you want him to stop... you need to make up your mind on what you TRULY want

    • 2mo

      you're not*

What Girls Said 6

  • For me yes. But you have to decide that for you.

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  • It is if it is for you lol. A few bowls is a lot.. do you mean a few hits? I hope.. If this is something he isn't willing to compromise on and it's important to you, then yes it can absolutely be a dealbreaker. For me, it is when it hinders him from like work or if it makes a negative impact on our relationship or puts a strain on finances.

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    • 2mo

      Nope, it's a few bowls. I think you make a good point. Thus far, it hasn't hindered his work, but it could! It has, however, caused some financial strain

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    • 2mo

      Good luck, I hope he can see it from your perspective :/

    • 2mo

      You're a sweetheart! Thank you! ❤️

  • It depends. Is it a deal-breaker for you? Its nobody else's place to decide

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  • It would be for me, but I'm vary anti weed.

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  • You can't change him so dump him and find a man that doesn't have that situating habit.

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  • That's not a lot of weed honestly.

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