Why do girls seem to be repulsed by a direct approach?

Why are girls so obsessed with charisma, or "game"? Why don't they like a direct forward approach? Is it just the young women in their 20's?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes the direct approach comes off as insincere or with poor intentions. When I think of guys with "game", I think of a guy who is hoping I'll be the next notch in his bedpost, not actually getting to know me. If a guy has too much confidence/charisma, it can come off as cocky. When you approach a girl, try to learn about her, just as she should try to learn about you. Don't ask her if she wants to go back to your place yet. Just tell her you loved meeting her tonight and wonder if you can have her number. Then ask if she'd like to have coffee during the week sometime. Then text her during the week to set up a time.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's only if you're not hot enough for the bitch in question. If you are, you can get away with damn near anything. If you're not, anything you did will be objectionable/repulsive.

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What Girls Said 10

  • because you dont know me. if you walked up to me and asked me out and said you wanted to be my boyfriend i would think you were crazy or desperate. you dont know anything about me but you want to be my man? what about me do you like so much? it doesn't make sense

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    • 2mo

      Nobody knew each other at one time, right? Even your best friend was a stranger at one time.

    • 2mo

      my best friend didn't walk up to me telling me that she loves my soul and wants to be my bf4l either. if she did i would think she was one weird bitch and not even talk to her

  • If they are not interested... it comes off as creepy because of crappy modern societal norms!! Apparently it comes off as less weird online. I don't understand this though :(

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  • We think your just in it to bang and on a subconscious level assume you see us as a sex toy and not a person if you don't attempt to court a woman.

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  • if someone i've never talked to or barely knew just walked up to me and asked me out i'd be pretty creeped out tbh

    but if i knew the person for a while or am good friends with him then i don't think a forward approach is a bad idea

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  • Game is overrated. A direct, confident approach is always best!

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    • 2mo

      I wish this was true, but it doesn't seem to be for most girls.

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    • 2mo

      @meg8987 I still rarely come across any woman who likes the direct approach.

    • 2mo

      Ok. Then don't use it.

  • Depends on the location like if I'm in a hurry I don't want to be slowed down ya know so I won't be receptive

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  • Those girls are immature.

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    • 2mo

      Well I guess every woman in their 20's is immature then.

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    • 2mo

      @LadyTerror Every girl I've came across under 30 hates the direct approach. So, every woman I have came across is immature, according to you (apparently). I never come across girls any different.

    • 2mo

      Well you just go for immature girls then. Looks like that's what you're attracted to.

  • What do you mean by direct forward approach?

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    • 2mo

      I mean a guy who goes up to a girl, and directly asks her out, and wants to be her boyfriend.

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    • 2mo

      @Sasha07 But I can't even GET a chance to know someone if they ostracize you before you get a chance.

    • 2mo

      like i mean... were you guys even friends at first? what do you mean by she ostracized you before you got a chance to know her?

  • I wouldn't mind direct approach if you look smart

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    • 2mo

      How do you "look smart"?

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    • 2mo

      how would he act like a creep according to you?

    • 2mo

      I'm not an expert on that. When you see a guy who is normal, you know

  • They do, they just act like they don't because 1. They want you to keep trying and are testing you. 2. They don't wanna appear as easy to get

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What Guys Said 8

  • Direct approach only works if you are above average in looks and have above average social skills. Ugly guy does this and it's creepy. Good looking hunk does this and it's seen as confidence.

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  • Here's the thing... if the guy in a direct approach doesn't come off as FUN, she will think he is just wanting to fuck and doesn't give a shit about getting to know her.

    FUN is the secret sauce, women dig guys that are fun to talk to, and fun to be around.

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  • I think you are making a mistake, at least from where I sit.
    Women do not like players, but they do like a man with charm and charisma.
    Who wouldn't?
    How much does it cost a guy to give a woman a genuine compliment?
    How hard is it to refrain from cussing and use respect for her dignity?
    A few simple gestures go a long way.

    Just my opinion

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  • A direct approach to a woman you know decently? She's probably just immature.

    A direct approach to a stranger? She'll probably think it's creepy.

    Just wait until you know her somewhat, then you can ask her out.

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  • What exactly is a 'direct forward approach'? Are you saying, like, "wanna fuck?"

    Maybe just try basic conversation first and see if they're interested in talking at all. Sometimes they're not, so just assuming they're interested is wrong.

    by the way, it's surprising how many will actually respond to the totally direct response. LOL.

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  • It depends on what you look like and whether they are receptive to being talked to. Unless they're wearing headphones you can ask them about something, or make a harmless comment, and if they seem interested in talking, good, if not cut it off.
    It's about control. Girls are usually skittish and anything that puts them on edge (a bigger being) will elicit anger/ fear.

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  • Simple. You aren't attractive. You can compensate with personality and money, but looks matter the most at your age. Post a picture or yourself to prove me wrong.

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    • 2mo

      Gayyyy

      But right

      Still gayyyyyy

    • 2mo

      @Hammerofthor I'm just the messenger of truth and sometimes the truth hurts. Shame me all you can because. Call me gay if it makes you feeel better because... I don't care. =P

    • 2mo

      @DrTruth Money matters more than age. Notice how fat ugly guys can get hot chicks as long as they're rich?

  • women want, what they can't have

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