How soon is too soon to date again after a break up?

My ex and I "broke up" about a month ago but didn't REALLY break up until last Thursday. To make a long story short, it was one of those relationships where you keep thinking things will change and that things will be better in the future, only to find yourself suffering in the present. I finally accepted that it was best to just let go and move on and REALLY ended it. I feel more at peace and unlike other post breakups in the past, I am not cursing love and all that mess lol. Anyways, I started talking to an old friend from high school and things have been really good. It's a very different and HEALTHY dynamic than what I'm used to. I'm pretty excited to learn from my mistakes in my past relationship and do things a lot better with this guy who is very deserving of all that and more. But is it too soon? Am I considered "sloppy seconds"? It's been 2 years since I dated so I'm a little rusty lol.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are saying you were with this guy for 2 years chances are after a month you are probably not really going to be in the best mindset. I thought I was fine when I broke up with my ex. Every girl I dated shortly after I would be trying to get into a routine like I had before, looking for things I had before etc. All of these situations didn't end well so I just kind of stopped trying for awhile and working on resetting.

    However you are not sloppy seconds, there's nothing wrong with you at all. Everyone will process breaking up differently and you might be fine. I found that taking some time to be single and start to enjoy it again has really helped getting into a better mindset. It seems like I was dating girls only because I wanted to be with someone since that is what I was used to.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah I guess you're right. I may be rushing things along here. Ideally I would like to talk to him about it, let him know where I stand and such and hopefully he would be willing to just wait me out a little bit. I feel for the most part I am definitely ready to move on. I have no problem being alone, which is why it's just really interesting to me I would be willing to date so soon. Hmm...

    • 2mo

      For me I felt like my relationship was over for a while before we finally broke up and I thought I was ready for a new one almost right away. I also was so used to being in a relationship that I forgot dating actually kind of sucks lmao. It's a lot of investment in multiple ways to just find out if someone is compatible with you or not.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I actually joined Tinder literally a few weeks after my ex left me and then seriously started pursuing other guys after 3 months or so. The initial Tinder was just to have fun and see what else is out there. I deleted the app after a while. But then in December last year joined again with the prospects of finding a guy to be serious with and fate was on my side, as I met the love of my life within a short period of time on there, 9 months later and still going strong :)

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What Guys Said 12

  • go for it, too soon would be 72 hours later and with someone he sees regularly but things started falling apart a while ago.

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  • You gotta let this friend know what's up and what's all happened. Take things slow at first but let him in the loop. There is nothing worse trying to get to know a girl and she's hot and cold all the time. Tell him why

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  • yeah i would consider that too soon if i was the guy. i wouldn't enter into a relationship with this women.

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  • There is no too soon. Anyway, new guys don't want to hear about your breakup, so they won't know that you were with your ex yesterday or last week or last month

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  • Lol I don't know why you think you might be considered sloppy seconds, but what you're feeling right now will most likely turn out to be a rebound with an old pal..

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    • 2mo

      I guess by sloppy seconds I meant rebound lol.

    • 2mo

      Yep, you're not over him just yet.. Don't listen to that other reply about 6 months to a year, that's way too long. Eh you'll know when things are right again.

  • Usually it takes about 3 to 6 months for you to completely recover from a break up. Some people are OK in 2 months time. So it depends on how much time you will take to get back to your normal self. In exceptional people take even more than a year to feel normal again. I would prefer that you start going on a new date in 3 months time.

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  • They say the best time to start a new relationship is half the time you spent with your ex. Example if you two were in a relationship for six months.. You should only consider dating again after 3 months..
    This time span makes sure that you have fully gotten over the ex

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  • I usually jump right back in. I tend to move on really fast.

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  • allow 30-60 days for processing.

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  • There is no too soon

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  • Take it slow, two years is a while and if you care about this new guy youllake aure he's not a reboumd

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  • This totally depends on the respective individuals.

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What Girls Said 7

  • No sooner than 6 months to a year. After a year, take as long as you need. 2 years is fine. But if you haven't forgotten about him or moved on, its a problem. Get all of that out of the way first, then you need to think about the lessons you learned from that relationship. Once you have idea where to change and be changed as a new person, only then can you date effectively and efficiently.

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  • I think you're ready to date again when you've moved on from the hurt and let go of your ex. There's no time limit , because everyone's circumstances are different. Only you can know for sure if it's too early or not

    . As long as it isn't a rebound relationship , and you have totally moved on and let go then I'd say go for it. Some people let go quicker than others. Then there's others who aren't ready to date in less than a year

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  • I don't think it's ever 'too soon' to get back up and try again after failing - in any situation.

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  • No, you're fine.
    I just wouldn't rush into it super fast

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  • there's no specific time frame. Once you feel completely ready, thats when you can date again:)

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  • I think once you are over your ex and feel like you really want to find someone better thats the right time. I think there are people out there who find a new relationship days or weeks later just to fill the void or because they dont want to feel lonely, not because they are over what happened with their recent ex. Only you can decide when its the right time to date someone new.

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  • No you nt sloppy seconds. if u feel ready move on

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