Is it wrong to date two guys at the same time?

About 3 weeks ago, I met an interesting guy and I went on a few dates with him. A week after I met him, another cute guy asked me out and I went on a date with him as well. So far, I like them both and I feel it's still too soon to tell which one I like best (I've only been on one date with the second guy and 3 dates with the first). I like the first guy's personality a lot but the second guy is more physically my type.

I haven't had sex with any of them, and I don't plan to unless we decide to be in a relationship. For now, I just want to casually date and have fun! I'm 19, I'm new to the whole dating thing and I don't really know yet what I'm looking for in a guy. So is it okay to date both? Am I a bad person? Should I tell them I'm dating other people?

Updates:
2mo I talked about it with the first guy and he said he's perfectly fine with me getting to know other guys before we decide we're exclusive! I'm planning on discussing it with the second guy soon and I hope he'll be fine with it as well.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It isn't bad, but if you haven't had conversation about defining the parameters of the relationship you may want to do that before too long, some guys may assume they are the only one you are seeing or that you are together, which will make things difficult. If both of them feel that they are the only one dating you it can lead to hurt feelings, anger... all that annoying drama crap that you don't want in the long run. Being upfront and honest will help keep that from happening. It may be awkward, but it is better to have a little awkward then a big mess later.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's nothing wrong with dating more than one guy at the same time because it doesn't mean that your officially committed to any of them. Dating is just the start and it helps you decide who's your best potential match. I think your approach to dating is very mature and your going about it the right way. But I do agree with @lightbulb27 that you should be honest with them and inform them that your dating others. Its good that your keeping your options open rather than putting all your eggs in one basket. Good luck with the dating, I hope you find a guy that's right for you. :)

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    • 2mo

      Thank you for the helpful reply! :)
      I'm planning on telling them, I'm just not sure how to approach the topic

    • 1mo

      Thanks for mhg

What Guys Said 27

  • That is the way it should be. As long as you are not exclusive and the guys understand that, you are free to date anyone you want. And so are they. When somebody decides that they want to be exclusive, that is when decisions need to be made.

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  • To me, yes, it is bad. It is immature and juvenile what you are doing. You are playing games and basically you are a player. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I would be heartbroken to find out the girl I just seeing is also seeing another guy behind my back. I would feel betrayed and like I am part of some stupid reality tv competition show. If all you want is giggly fun, at least you should tell the guy he isn't exclusive with you and you are seeing others at the same time. I bet not too many guys would be cool with that.

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  • not a problem, just be honest with them that you are dating others and getting to know people. I'd respect you if you told me your rules and you held to them. If you didn't hold to them (like a prior person I went out with...) then I lose respect:)

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  • No it not wrong. Just make sure to let them know that it is NOT exclusive and that you are seeing other guy too.

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  • yeah it is , enjoy the dating scene while you can you got plenty of time to think serous dont let that thought ruin it for you.

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  • To select the right boyfriend you can start dating any number of boys. This is because in the process of selection , when you compare them with one another , you come to know which one is more appropriate to you. It cannot be considered as cheating because you need to choose from a wider choice of candidates. When you select the best husband , your future generation too will benefit. In life sometimes hard decisions should be taken with utmost caution.

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  • You're not exclusive so you can do whatever you want but I would probably lose interest if I knew a girl was seeing multiple guys on the side.

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  • That's HOW you date, lol.

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    • 2mo

      No. You say yes to someone and you date that person. If you get bored or there is no chemistry, this shows up right away and tell that person it isn't working out, then you move on to someone else. THAT IS DATING! What you think is dating is called being a player!

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    • 2mo

      @truthbeknown one date, doesn't guarantee anything but a "let's maybe do this again". Then you wait for the call or the text. In that time, what? Just wait? Life is too short, I'm looking again until I hear back or decide to call her back. There is no lying that even occurs most of the time. I'd rather have a few dates, see who I'm not compatible with, then decide. One or two dates isn't really enough to get to know someone. I also don't assume that I'm the only guy she's shopping for.

    • 2mo

      So your going to die if a week goes by in between dates? If it takes a few weeks to find out if she is right or not, then you are dating 15 or more women a year. That's a lot in my book. Like I said to others here, if she has no problem with you seeing other people at the very beginning, then go for it. If I asked out someone and she told me yes, but she just started seeing someone else too, I would decline because I am not getting rolled up into that drama bullshit. If you like the juggling, then all the best to you. One woman is a enough trouble to deal with at one time. Good luck!

  • Well personally I would only want to date one person, and I would hope the person I am dating feels the same way. But if that works for you, just make sure it's alright with them too.

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  • no, i encourage it.

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  • I wouldn't worry about it, they are doing the same.

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  • You need to either tell them both or decide which one you want to continue dating. Are these dates Dutch or are you or they paying?

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  • I'd say it's wrong. I wouldn't do it.

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  • You are not a bad person unless you are leading one or both of them on to expect a sexual relationship. You should tell each of them when you're going out with your other friend, but if you choose one as a lover, you shouldn't keep the other hanging on. Until then, you shouldn't have a problem with them meeting other women, either.

    If you do have a problem with them meeting other women, you should only see one of them at a time.

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  • I mean i think you can but dont lead both of them on for too long, you have to pick eventually or you'll risk hurting one of their feelings

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  • It is you're a sloot if you do that. Only one dude per chick.

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    • 2mo

      I'm a slut for casually going on dates with more than one guy at a time? Lmfao.

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    • 2mo

      @reixun THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH

    • 2mo

      She's no slut if there is no sex involved.

  • Probably wrong, considering what if both guys start liking you a lot and you have to choose, or one of them find out and they get upset. I don't know what the guys are like but they can consider it as cheating.

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  • You're only dating, but I don't really juggle.

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  • i think its fine as long as you dont have sex with any of them.

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    • 2mo

      What about kissing and touching?

    • 2mo

      what do you mean touching. i think kissing is getting a bit too much

  • It's OK in my opinion. Take your relationship choice.

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  • yes it is... that is called double dipping

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  • Choose the one that you feel so happy with

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  • Yes, it is, you degenerate.

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  • I don't think it makes you a bad person since you are free to do as you please and you're not hurting anyone. But from being a guy who was in a situation like this, I warn you to be prepared to how the guts will act if they find out you are dating other guys. For me I seen a girl I was dating out on a date with another guy while I was out with friends. Once I seen that I cancelled plans with her and never asked her on another date. I just don't have time or interest in a girl who wants to get to know othere guys while getting to know me in that way. It's like she isn't putting a valid effort into getting to know me. Also while at the same time keeping me around while she looks for a guy she feels is better than me. It's like with that girl it's doomed from the start since it kind of shows she doesn't care about me.

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  • General rule of thumb... Dont ever think you are the only one he/she is speaking to. Always think they are banging someone on the side. Words of wisdom for you all. Less you care, the better the result

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  • Include me let it be 3😂 I want piece of the cake as well

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  • yeah thats like not slutty and manipulative at all... .

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    • 2mo

      Oh shush. Guys do it all the time.

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    • 2mo

      @Shorty1991 yeah she better not find me! i'll have to hide somewhere if she does!

    • 2mo

      Lmao :)

What Girls Said 13

  • I think it's perfectly okay to date both as long as you tell both. If you are doing so he has a right to know. Because maybe he wants to do it but isn't just because he believes he cannot.

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  • You are not Hooked at the Hip with neither One of them, hun, so Continue to Just... Nurse and Nurture each one.
    Do not Make any Hasty decisions in getting into a Real Relationship with Both or even with One until you are Sure... One is the Best from the Rest.
    You are still Young yet. I am Sure that this is Not the End and there will be Plenty of More in Store fish in the sea.
    Good luck. xx

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    • 2mo

      Thanks for the Like, hun. Silence is golden on both of them finding out about the other though. xx

    • 2mo

      Should I let them know that we're not exclusive and that I am dating other people, and that I would be okay with them also dating others? :$

    • 2mo

      It appears you are Not ready for any Relationship with Dating 2 right now, so level with both that you are Do "Date" but do not give out Any info, it is not their business, no strings right now, and tell them too to feel free so they know what to do. xx

  • If you are exclusive, then it is wrong. But there's nothing wrong with a few dates with a few guys. After going on another date or two with the second guy, you really should make a choice between the two. I would recommend the one you connect personality-wise since looks don't last forever. But it's your choice, don't let others make it for you.

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  • Its fine to date both as long as you're not making them think theyre the only one you're dating. As long as you break it off with one if you decide to get in a relationship

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  • I think you should tell them you are dating other people then it's up to them to decide if they like the situation or not. For me it's acceptable to be non exclusive for a month or two but beyond that you're just using them.

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  • That's how dating works. You go out with people and see which one you connect with the most. You aren't exclusive with either guy, and they are probably doing the same thing too. Once its exclusive, then obviously its different. But for now, no it isn't wrong to do that. You're 19, go have fun:)

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    • 2mo

      That's what I'm thinking too, I'm just worried that they assume it's exclusive when it's not :$

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    • 2mo

      So you think I am rude because I don't date other people behind someone else back? You think I am rude because I won't lie to someone? You think I am rude because I want to focus on one person at a time? Dating doesn't mean you are having sex. Are your lives that involved where have multiple guys asking every day and simply don't have enough time in your life to see one person at a time for a couple of weeks? Jeez, slow down people! Asking on here really doesn't matter. You need to sit down with the guys you are seeing and tell them they are in competition for you with other guys right now and that you are seeing other guys at the same time. If they have no problem, then fine. I think it is wrong to date multiple at the same time and not tell them.

    • 2mo

      @truthbeknown dude calm the fuck down. Dating and relationships are two different things. But if you don't like that, then of course tell the people you are getting to know how you feel. Do you 👌🏼

  • i think you are fine since you are not in a serious relationship with either.

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  • Of course you should tell them.

    What if one of them develops feelings for you only to find out you are dating someone else on the side?
    It is very wrong of you two deceive them.

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  • No it's not.

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  • I think it's ok do long as everyone involved knows the score. Be honest and no one gets hurt.

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  • Yes.

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  • No its not wrong, dating is about getting to know them with no sex.

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  • No, it's not bad and I wouldn't tell them. I just wouldn't let it go on for too long. Go on a couple of more dates with the second one and then make a list of what you are looking for in a relationship, then make a pros/cons list and compare the two. Hopefully that will help with you make your decision and pick one, but don't rush it.

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