I never had an actual girlfriend before. I had a psudorelationship that lasted a week. It was awkward and she turned out to be a lesbian. I don't know if she is really a lesbian or she is bi and pursues girls mostly because of her past childhood trauma.
I don't want a girl that has had a first love before. Especially when she was younger.
I don't like that hypothetical situation of "what if". That "what if she reunited with her first love and would be happier". That is sweet because a girl gets to be with someone from her adolescence/childhood.
I've heard horror stories of first loves getting back together even when they've married to other people. Or, there's always that what if my past lover wants me back? Or what if my past lover and I can get back together? What if your partner starts having feelings again for somebody they used to date? But, on the flip side, what if your partner falls in love with someone she never met before?
When we get in a relationship we also get in a risk, which is why I always encourage people to take their freaking damn time and stop rushing everything, but people nowadays don't ever want to work things out. They just live in the moment.
I can understand where your come from. We all want somebody that is specifically ONLY for ourselves with no threats from the outside. But honestly, I don't think this will save you entirely, because it all really depends on the person you pick. That person could have had 10 boyfriends in the past and still love only you.
That's just your feelings of insecurity speaking. I felt this worry with my first boyfriend who had left his first love behind in another city.
But now I am more experienced - thats incredibly silly and detrimental to you finding the right person nevermind falling in love. Especially since its not the first love that counts but the person that can make you believe in love again despite heartbreak.
People actually becoming very grateful that they went through a painful breakup because it made them more mature for the right relationship.
Not hypocritical because you have no experience. Good luck on your hunt.
No, because you yourself have also never been in a relationship. I don't think that view is healthy in my opinion but it's not hypocritical. You have to figure out what you want... just stop and think about the why... "what if's", there will always be what ifs.. you have to learn to give yourself more credit then that and not worry about some weird idea of competition when in reality there probably wouldn't be any but like I said this is just my opinion.
It's not hypocritical but in my personal opinion it's stupid asf.
I'm the same as you!! but want a boyfriend. same age same hopes