What do you think of stopping/refusing to date someone because they are 'too nice'?

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2mo Just asking because to each their own but to be honest I've never understood this mindset. Thanks in advance! :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • One day at work, these two old black ladies were talking. This was right after Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rihanna. And they went off for a while about what kind of a piece of shit he was.
    The next night, they were laughing about some new temp, who was a real mellow, calm, "nice guy" kind of guy, and a church goer. They were both going off about how they'd never touch a man like that. Men like that were pussies. Good for nothing but the money they brought it.
    So I asked them "What do you look for in a guy?"
    "A bad boy. A bit of a gangster. The kind of guy who knows what he wants, and isn't a pussy about it. A trouble maker. Someone exciting."
    "So a hard worker, someone reliable, someone who makes it their mission to make you happy, someone who treats you like a queen?"
    "They're pussies. They can't get what they want, so they make little kiss-asses of themselves. They're pathetic. They ain't real men."
    "Maybe not. But they don't beat the shit out of Rihanna either."

    They didn't have a retort.

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    • 2mo

      Shame in those women. I agree with you. Should honor someone who is making an effort to have a healthy relationship and treat her well.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Being too nice is a thing. I have a really good friend named Jen. She's such a nice person but she's unhealthily nice. Peopl often insult her to her face and she still considers those people her friends. People take advantage of her. One time a friend of ours stayed at her house for three days, ate all her families food, and made out with some guy in her living room even though she didn't even want her to be there. She always takes the blame for everything even if it's not her fault. She'll do things for other people even if she knows it'll get her in trouble. Even though she's really a nice girl, she's exceeded the normal amount of niceness and now she's just desperate and she lets people walk all over her. A person becomes too nice when they lose their backbone and they're desperate enough to do anything to please other people. I'd never date a guy that was too nice.

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What Guys Said 19

  • Just as valid as refusing to date someone who is a complete dick, just the other end of scale.

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  • I think that's fair and the reason of someone being too nice is understandable. Yes being too nice can be a problem and they can come off as weak and a person without a backbone.

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  • neither do i. it is possible because they are too nice, it doesn't feel right (not something they are familiar with) or feel like they aren't giving something back and there is balance.

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  • "Too nice" to me means that the girl treats me better than I treat her. But considering I think that I have a good balance of stubbornness and pride, I don't think it would be very necessary to compete. Then arguments like "I always do nice things for you" and "you never do anything for me" will start happening. So no, if she's too nice for me I wouldn't really want to date her.

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  • Are you talking about a kind and nice person in general or about when being too nice turns into being a pushover?

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  • Sounds kinda confusing. Are you looking for someone that's "barely nice"?
    Maybe you're equated being nice with weakness?

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  • I don't really get it, maybe it's because they think they don't deserve someone that nice. Or maybe they are just confusing nice with boring.

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  • I don't get it! Why do people think it's bad to be nice and sweet to someone you love? 😔❤️

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    • 2mo

      It's not that, it's just that when you hate yourself, you can't think of why someone would love you. Like you're not worthy of being treated like a human being because you're not used to it.

    • 2mo

      I don't understand, when I hate myself or when the girl hates herself?

  • Too nice is annoying whether it is male or female.

    This maybe sounds maybe throw back to stone age and stupid to some but it is nature. Guys aren't he ones that are supposed all nice. We are the hunters and providers, we are supposed to be capable in a man's world. If a guy is nice to a point of looking weak and incapable in a grown up world I would not expect that to be attractive to women.

    I like a female on the nice side but, not too nice or I will never have an excuse to spank her.

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  • Women despise nice guys. Treat a woman like a cum-dumpster and she will love you. The only time they want a nice guy is when they've hit the wall and need a wallet to support them. Oh, and she'll cheat on him.

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  • Being too nice is like saying wow you're too much of a gentleman. I don't get how it turns off girls but the more you age the more you want those guys that are "too nice". It's a weird mindset.

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  • I feel like we guys cannot win. We're either too much of an asshole or too nice no matter what.

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  • Then let them go. This is free will , even though you can be against their choices. It won't change a thing. Say to them - Ah understood, may you have a safe day.) and go on about your day. There's always someone who have it worse

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  • Does not make any sense. You date people because in a way they are "cool and nice"

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  • I think it's stupid, don't get why girls do it.

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  • it's perfectly normal.

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  • I think its a shit excuse that self loathing umderserving people use to escape a relationshio that is actually healthy for them

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  • Lmao, that's really weird.

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  • I don't either but I guess they find it boring

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What Girls Said 8

  • Have you tried to challenge them to live outside their comfort zone? If the answer is yes and they are still nice to even nasty people or always give in to do what you want, etc. Maybe you should explain that you feel you aren't a good match because you don't challenge each other, or you find the relationship too one sided or bland.

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  • Nice usually isn't the problem. It's the passivity and spineless behavior and beliefs (or the entire lack of them) that are the problem. Anyone I've met who is too "nice" is usually too much of a pudgy, brown nosing coward to take seriously.

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    • 2mo

      yep, we just deserve humiliation, no woman could respect guys like me.

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    • 2mo

      I know that's the i am so i accept it.

    • 2mo

      Maybe one day i get a girlfriend but i'm sure she'll cheat on me but i'm ok with it because i know i'm not man enough to please her so i rather be her cuckold.

  • That's cool it is possible to be too nice and to annoy someone with it. Phoebe stopped dating Alec Baldwin in Friends because he was too nice.

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  • Many people who think this way have low self esteem and they literally don't feel like they deserve such kindness.

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  • It's just a way of letting someone down politely.. no one ACTUALLY tens someone down ecause they're too nice.

    Maybe they're too needy or too eager or too this or that, but too "nice" is never the actual problem.

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  • It's hard to say because being nice is a positive quality but can also be a bad one. Being a doormat is a turn off so I can't really say breaking up with one is a good or bad idea. I think it varies on the relationship and living environment.

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  • I don't mind if a guy is too nice, but I do like a man that can scold me every once in a while, kinda just to keep me in line so I don't repeat mistakes and stuff.

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  • Sooooo... basically you don't want a guy to respect you and be nice to you? Okay then.

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