So I've been on two dates with a great guy I met online (we're both 26), but I just don't feel any romantic spark. We get on great, but he feels more like a friend. Despite me always offering to go Dutch, he's paid for both dates in full and they've not been too cheap. I don't want to fade out and ignore him as he doesn't deserve that, he's a stand up guy, but I've no idea what to say. Never been in this situation before. In an ideal world I'd like for us to continue being friends but I know that never happens.
This is the part of dating I hate, its like managing a business and having to fire someone, it always sucks ass.
Most of the time guys are quite used to the ignoring and fading away and pick up on it. Most guys come to expect this, you will try to setup a next time to hang out and all the sudden the girl is busy every time you ask to hang out. I always try to set something up twice and stop talking to them if they have excuses and see if they initiate back with me. If they don't I don't have time to screw around and on to the next.
If you really want to tell him what is going on; which is pretty god damn rare. You can always just tell him that its not working out for you and feel like a good friendship and nothing more. He can take it or leave it, and will most likely appreciate it, even if its a few days later.
I appreciated your company but value more as a friend. I dont want to give you false expectations but I really enjoyed your company. Nevertheless I ll understand if you don t wanna stay friends with me tc
Don't worry about the money. It never works out to be 50/50 anyway. This is price to pay to be in the dating game. Every guy knows this. Next time he calls for a date, just say you are sorry, but you have no romantic feelings for him. Tell him you tried, but you felt no spark. I would not offer to be friends, that is just stringing him along.
Huh, digavu. In all honestly. I just had this happen to me this Friday.
She didn't have the guts to tell me that she wasn't romantically interest but what is going on in her current life that I think, and according to my friends, that would deter any other guy from dating her. I met her online as well, but I know she is interested in another guy as I saw her on my dating account feed constantly.
Look, if your not that interested just say it. Don't hold back with a story, don't hold back with pretending to be friends as that just what a side of hope does. And do not worry, if he is a stand up guy, he will find someone that will appreciate it more then you know you would, otherwise it's just a lead on.
When he asks you out on another date just say, "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. You're a great guy, but I'm just not feeling anything romantic towards you. I'd love to be friends in the future if that is a possibility. But I think it's best that we discontinue dating one another. ".
Obviously use your own words. But you have to be direct and kind about it. He's a good dude, so it's going to suck emotionally no matter what. So making it as honest and straightforward as possible is best.
I'm curious, what about him made him feel more like a friend to you? Was he not forward enough? Did you perhaps not feel so romantic towards him from the beginning, but you went with it anyway because he seemed like a good guy?
Be up front and honest but not rude of course. Think of his feelings. You can say something like hey, I've had a good time with you although I do not think we are compatible, you're a great guy with a lot to offer but I just think we can't be compatible. I'm sorry. All the best with your search