How do I tell a guy I'm not interested, after two dates?

So I've been on two dates with a great guy I met online (we're both 26), but I just don't feel any romantic spark. We get on great, but he feels more like a friend. Despite me always offering to go Dutch, he's paid for both dates in full and they've not been too cheap. I don't want to fade out and ignore him as he doesn't deserve that, he's a stand up guy, but I've no idea what to say. Never been in this situation before. In an ideal world I'd like for us to continue being friends but I know that never happens.


0|0
5|16

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is the part of dating I hate, its like managing a business and having to fire someone, it always sucks ass.

    Most of the time guys are quite used to the ignoring and fading away and pick up on it. Most guys come to expect this, you will try to setup a next time to hang out and all the sudden the girl is busy every time you ask to hang out. I always try to set something up twice and stop talking to them if they have excuses and see if they initiate back with me. If they don't I don't have time to screw around and on to the next.

    If you really want to tell him what is going on; which is pretty god damn rare. You can always just tell him that its not working out for you and feel like a good friendship and nothing more. He can take it or leave it, and will most likely appreciate it, even if its a few days later.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Thanks for the opinion. Really helpful. I was always going to say something to him, as it's just basic manners. Fading out is cowardly. You can't force something which isn't there either and I don't want to waste his time.

    • 2mo

      I wish more girls did this, Its pretty rare in my experience that someone flat out tells you whats going on, and is always welcomed. Even if it has to be in a damn text I'd rather know than sitting around wondering.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I appreciated your company but value more as a friend.
    I dont want to give you false expectations but I really enjoyed your company.
    Nevertheless I ll understand if you don t wanna stay friends with me
    tc

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 15

  • Don't worry about the money. It never works out to be 50/50 anyway. This is price to pay to be in the dating game. Every guy knows this. Next time he calls for a date, just say you are sorry, but you have no romantic feelings for him. Tell him you tried, but you felt no spark. I would not offer to be friends, that is just stringing him along.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Huh, digavu. In all honestly. I just had this happen to me this Friday.

    She didn't have the guts to tell me that she wasn't romantically interest but what is going on in her current life that I think, and according to my friends, that would deter any other guy from dating her. I met her online as well, but I know she is interested in another guy as I saw her on my dating account feed constantly.

    Look, if your not that interested just say it. Don't hold back with a story, don't hold back with pretending to be friends as that just what a side of hope does. And do not worry, if he is a stand up guy, he will find someone that will appreciate it more then you know you would, otherwise it's just a lead on.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      However, if you do want to be his friend. Show him that you want to be. That way, maybe something more can come out of it like a best friendship.

  • When he asks you out on another date just say, "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. You're a great guy, but I'm just not feeling anything romantic towards you. I'd love to be friends in the future if that is a possibility. But I think it's best that we discontinue dating one another. ".

    Obviously use your own words. But you have to be direct and kind about it. He's a good dude, so it's going to suck emotionally no matter what. So making it as honest and straightforward as possible is best.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm curious, what about him made him feel more like a friend to you?
    Was he not forward enough?
    Did you perhaps not feel so romantic towards him from the beginning, but you went with it anyway because he seemed like a good guy?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Be up front and honest but not rude of course. Think of his feelings. You can say something like hey, I've had a good time with you although I do not think we are compatible, you're a great guy with a lot to offer but I just think we can't be compatible. I'm sorry. All the best with your search

    0|0
    0|0
  • stupid...

    after you spend enuff time w/ him you'll be attracted to his personality --- as you already are... once that sets in... he could look like the humpback from notre dame for all you care.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Only 2 dates? Hmm I'd be tempted to giving him a few more but thats me

    0|0
    0|0
  • "Sorry, but I wouldn't like to go for another date, I dont think we match." if he asks for the reason, be honest but mild, so he could learn for another girl.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      ^This essentially. Just be honest. Don't be "nice" by lying to him. He can't grow if he doesn't know the truth.

  • Just let him know you enjoyed the dates but didn't feel a spark and thank him for taking you out.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell him straight up nicely and why !!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hey! Did you dump my brother? Jerk!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell or text him exactly what you wrote here.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well you got your free meals

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Fabulous advice. I guess you don't take rejection to well.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Unlike you, I don't use people for free meals when I date them. It's common courtesy to offer or pay your share, and to never expect the man to always foot the bill. You sound like a child.

    • 2mo

      Me? I just said basically be thankful.. This guy maybe getting a free out of jail card with you.

  • The damn friendzone

    0|0
    0|0
  • But what's exactly wrong with the guy? You say he is a great guy.

    If you don't feel that fading out is right, you should tell him as soon as possible. As time goes by, the damage will be larger for him.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • I think we owe it to the people we date to let them know when are no longer interested. It is hard to do and uncomfortable to do but it is our responsibility to do it so it must be done.

    I think directly and concisely is the best way to do. "I am not interested in pursing a romantic relationship with you." One sentence, that is all it takes.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Introduce him to a cute single friend of yours. :) he's still being rejected but you're introducing him to someone new

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      No single immediate friends or aquaintences I'm afraid lol thanks for the advice

    • 2mo

      Similar situation here :) so in that case just tell him the truth, or close to that.

  • Break up with him respectfully

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nothing beats honesty!!! And you never know you might become friends and then get married after lol. It has happened to people I know.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...