I've been in a kinda good relationship for over 3 years now and the past 6 months my fella has been really distant. He is on his phone more often, would rather spent all weekend with his friends even though we both work all week (him days and me nights) so we dont see each other as much anymore. We don't go out. We don't even go to the shop anymore. I get constantly accused of being lazy even though on my days off all I do is the housework and cooking. And just last night he started a massive argument just because i was wrecked and having a nap on the sofa before I done the dishes. (he doesn't do any housework fyi) and said that the relationship isn't going anywhere. So I slept on the sofa bed for the first time in the relationship. Am I being naive and hoping this attitude will change or is it truly over? The worst part is I live so far away from home and my dad passed away before Christmas last year so I have no family... And he knows this. Any advice will truly help me make the move out of here better.
Most Helpful Guy
From my perspective it seems he is becoming distant because there isn't a real connection there because, like you said, you work nights and he works days. There isn't a whole lot of time in between for you both to hang out and the fact that he yells at you to do something on your days off is crazy. He needs to back off. You work and he does too but he doesn't seem to understand that your trying to make things work out.
I hope this works.2
Most Helpful Girl
If he makes you feel bad instead of good the majority of the time then unfortunately honey I think it has come to an end. You say he's a ticking time bomb when you try to talk to him, then you are unable to have a decent adult conversation with him and frankly relationships can't get better without communication. I've been in this situation, literally just recently (was a four year relationship). So I know how hard it is and the connection is hard to break with someone especially after being with them for 3+yrs. My boyfriend at the time had made me feel unwanted, lazy, constantly belittled me and I couldn't talk to him without being yelled at or him pointing the finger at me when I was clearly not the one in the wrong. I did everything, job, cleaning, bills taking care of my kid and he did nothing yet somehow I was lazy for wanting a nap or some me time or even asking him to help out sometimes. Even though we did have some good times every once in a while and laughed occasionally I came to realize I was always sad and unhappy and you shouldn't be with someone that makes you feel that way. You shouldn't be with someone that constantly puts you down and where the relationship is more one sided. You should be able to talk to your partner not fear to. I realized I deserved better and though it was extremely hard, I got myself out of the situation. I cried uncontrollably, had anxiety and panic attacks but I went through with it and am better for it. People like that suck the life out of you, you deserve someone who will feed your soul and make you happy to go home to them.0