Is chemistry between two people innate or can you create it?

Just what the title says. Can you create that "spark" or does it just have to be there?

  • Chemistry between two people is either there or it isn't
    77% (30)49% (17)64% (47)Vote
  • Chemistry between two people can be created
    23% (9)51% (18)36% (27)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Both.

    People change overtime. You are not the same person you were when you were 12. You probably had friends back then that you simply don't resonate with anymore. So if it was 100% innate, then it would still be there. Now chemistry is a very innate thing. It's just possible to develop over time if both people are 1. Being honest about who they both are and 2. Changing over time.

    That's why arranged marriages are more successful and both people grow to love one another. A connection was formed over time, because they already had mutual values in place.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I kind of feel like it's more innate than anything else. That doesn't mean chemistry can't be created, but I feel like in most cases, it's either there or it isn't.

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What Guys Said 18

  • In my view, I believe that the chemistry between two people can be created, just as I feel relationships take work to sustain them and you just can’t expect instant sparks or attraction all the time and just also expect the relationship to just maintain itself without having to put effort into it. Sure, I believe that chemistry can occur between two people and it can be magical and wonderful, but it is not always innate and you can create it yourself if both of you want the relationship to work.

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  • It can be both but it seems like creating the chemistry takes a lot longer than innate chemistry where it is instantly there. I only get into relationships where it's innately there because the r/s seems more otherworldly and knowing that feeling makes me want to work even harder because they way I feel more often then not is how she is feeling.

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  • It can be created. If you change your behavior toward the other (which I know can be hard), then their behavior and reactions toward you will also change.

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  • Its both. I mean the chemistry is made its not just there but once you get along really well like the same things, know each others personality, talk for hours on end, make fun of each other, have sexual chemistry. Things if that nature just happenbut can built over time.

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  • Wow, the difference between the answers of men vs women is... I guess women really do expect nothing less than instant chemistry and then tend to trust that chemistry more than (I think) they should. Then again I think women tend to use the term "chemistry" to avoid having to use the word "looks".

    I'm one of those guys who thinks it can be created, though there has to be some innate potential, which I think is very common between two people.

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  • It's there based on physical appearance initially which you cannot alter to create it

    Afterwards it can fall flat if you find the other person repulsive as an individual

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  • both. I've learned that sluts tend to have great chemistry with everybody lol so thats a false chemistry. I've developed chemistry with more reserved women over time.

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  • I believe that chemistry between two people can be created. I read a book--The Tao Of Sex. In it some of these concepts are explained. Some Japanese women have an art of training people to be extremely sexy. They just look into your eyes and manipulate you. Some people don't have chemistry previously. But after having sex with such a person they last for his sex. They expect nothing less than to have sex with him. Kamasutra has such techniques to create love chemistry.

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  • It changes
    True love 90% innate, 10% you create
    Normal. 70% and 30%
    Meh 60% and 40%
    Just wants action 100% and 0%

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  • It can be created. That's the secret that men who are good with women know. Wish I had that little formula. I am the creator of mass friendshipzone events.

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  • You can create a fire, but the spark has to be there first. If it's not there on it's own it isn't happening.

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  • It either there or it isn't.

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  • It can be created, for certain. It helps if it's there to begin with, but it's not necessary.

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  • if its not there in the beginning, it won't be there later.

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  • it is there, can never be created

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  • It's inate.

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  • I don't believe it can be manufactured. I suspect that it may not be immediate in some cases.. where it can appear later as two people become more intimate. But not always.

    It is also fleeting. There is a woman I had intense chemistry with. Other people in the room could actually feel it. It was mutual, strong. That went on for months. We reconnected years later and some of it was still there.. but not anything like it was. There is hope it comes back in time.. but it almost seems disappointing it isn't just "there" anymore.. like we spoiled it. I guess I should just speak for myself here as she seems to be feeling it the same amount. I guess it is lopsided now.

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  • It grows over time, so I you create it

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What Girls Said 6

  • I feel like it can be created through conversation.

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  • I think most of the time its just there

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  • i think it can be cultivated but a tiny sprout has to be there from the beginning

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  • I believe it is innate.

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  • Chemistry can't be created. It's here or no.

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  • I've met a player that can create chemistry with any women. It doesn't mean he views them any differently or that there is something special. He just wanted to see how many he can get interested in him.

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    • 2mo

      Nah, "chemistry" just isn't the rare Disney-esque thing people make it out to be and having chemistry doesn't mean much either. When the two people find each other physically attractive it's basically a matter of making each other feel comfortable and having something to talk about at a moment both want to talk about that.

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