For people who use online dating: if someone asks you out on the first message, what are your thoughts?

Is this good or bad?


1|1
8|12

Most Helpful Girl

  • So, ask out? You mean they want you to meet up or something? Or like just start texting each other intimately because there is difference. I suggest saying yes but asking for their number, snapchat, anything and everything you can get. Don't be obvious though. OR you can say no. It's pretty weird that the first text you got was one being asked out? ALSO, how was it said?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      No. If it's something simple like, I liked your profile and feel like we'd get along. Would you like to meet up for a coffee or something?

    • 2mo

      Of course! Go ahead. But if you DO want to be cautious talk to her at least for a week. Then pop the "big question" - geez I need to stop.

      p. s ignore my age, I'm not fourteen your not receiving advice a fourteen year old.

    • 2mo

      Personally, I'd get a little creeped out.

What Girls Said 7

  • I would say it is bad. That would indicate to me that it is either a scam, a girl or guy who is desperate and unstable, or possibly trying to use you to get back at someone else. The other possibility is that they just want to hook up. A girl or guy looking for a meaningful relationship on a dating site will want to talk with you for at least a few days at length before asking you on a date. I would say also for your own safety that you shouldn't agree to meet with them before being able to tell if they arr who they say they are. I usually advance to phone calls before agreeing to meet with someone. Be safe and good luck.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Good. I think people who wait are annoying. Text back and forth and meet. You won't know if they are worth your time until after you meet. Face to face chemistry cannot be figured by messaging.

    Besides, you will send a few messages making plans. If they sound odd in these messages decline then. You haven't signed your name in blood when they asked and you wrote back.

    Also, people wonder why a lot of online dates suck. Its because you already said everything to each other in messages prior to the date! Save it for the date.

    Side note, drive yourself or uber and meet in a very public well lit place. Tell a friend where you are going and with what profile and contact info. Safety first! And do not have too many drinks!

    0|0
    0|0
  • id say bad. if im going to be meeting anyone from online dating i want to know if there's any interest there at all

    0|0
    0|0
  • The FIRST message? I'd think he's a creep...

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it sounds like a hookup but I don't know

    0|0
    0|0
  • Bad, I'd need to feel comfortable before going out and meeting a stranger...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends on how it's done I guess, but 99% of the time it won't be good.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 12

  • Well you haven't gotten the chance to get a feel for their personality so it could send the vibe that you are either desperate or that you are interested in them primarily for how they look in their profile pic.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Any time that happens I'd assume it's spam or one of the millions of accounts made by people in Russia (or wherever), who are just trying to scam their way into the U. S.

    Even if it's legit, though, it's a bad sign, in my opinion.

    0|0
    0|0
  • in my experience - that would be nuts. Women assume like a 50% psycho serial killer factor upfront lol. So first you chat for a while, personally I let THEM ask for texting... then I might ask for a call after a few days-after one call - it's either a fit or not in my experience at which point you (if it's a fit) ask for a date and get it.

    0|0
    1|0
  • it´s bad. cause usually i personally like to chit chat a little first, cause there are lots of nutcases on those online dating platforms xD

    0|0
    0|0
  • too soon, but at least the girl is showing some interest so it's not necessarily a complete write-off

    0|0
    0|0
  • I thought one of the main benefits of online dating is to get to know the person more before actually meeting to see if you are compatible.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My first thought is it's a scam. Eg really a dude looking to kill me and steal my car and wallet as happens on Craigslist rather often.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Would never do it cause i need time to know if things would work out.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Naw, don't do that.

    If it happens to be a girl asking you out, DEFINITELY don't do that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Happened twice recently and it ended pretty bad...

    0|0
    0|0
  • The guy I know with the most success online dating (in terms of dates and getting relationships) did exactly that.

    His view was that it cut through the flakes who weren't actually looking to meet people and see if there was a connection.

    Note first date would be a quick coffee or after work drink and this assumed they were living/working close by.

    It's not like he refused to text back and forth a bit but he was really clear - they seemed interesting from their profile so he'd like to meet and see if there's potential.

    0|0
    0|0

1 private opinion(s)
Only the asker and the opinion owner can see it. Learn more

Loading...