Hang around or just move on?

Here's the deal. dated this girl for 11 months, met her at work (weird I know) she was very good with my daughter, which was most important to me. we both lost our jobs about 4 months ago, then things got really crappy. I wasn't happy, neither was she. She ended up moving out 3 weeks ago with not much to say. I did a lot of thinking the 1st week she was gone and realized I had made some mistakes. I called her to apologize for what I had done to her because she's a great person and I treated her like crap but after I did this,That's where things got weird, she would texts me late at night saying she doesn't know how to deal with all her feelings and such. so I proceeded to feel her out on working through all this, but I got mixed signals. so I decided to just go out and have some fun because there was no point sitting around anymore. she called friday night and I basically blew her off because I was out, she responded with a text saying "quit pushing me away", never heard from her the rest of the weekend. Monday I told her that I was mailing some stuff to her and she sort off was stand offish to me, but I shrugged it off. have not heard from her since Monday morning. my question is, this girl was good to me and my daughter so I'm hesitant to date anyone else, but I guess that's why I'm here looking for advice.


Most Helpful Girl

  • When you said that she said she doesn't Know how to deal with her feelings do you know what she ment by that? It kind of sounds like she still has strong feelings for you and doesn't know how to handle it because she wants to be with you but the situation has changed and she doesn't know wether to move on or not. Have you and her communicated about this as to where you are at and where she is at emotionally? I know whenever a guy as said to me that he is mailing me my stuff I always felt like he didn't really want to see me so that is the easier way to do it. I'm not saying that is the case with you but she might have got stand offish because she doesn't know where your heart is whether you still want to be with her or not. She might be trying to get over you thinking that you are getting over her... if you still really have feelings for this girl you need to say somthing before it is to late. Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel... she has the right to know... and you have the right to know how she feels... its the only right thing to do

    • I'm really confused right now. I haven't heard from her in 3 days and that doesn't sound too good. I tried working things out with her a bunch for 2 straight weeks, and she left me in the dark. she doesn't know how to talk, so how do I approach her? I would love to work things out but not sure where to start or when to do it. I figured she would have called by now. maybe its really over? I'm just scared of getting hurt again. more importantly hurting my daughter again, she really didn't take it w

    • She didn't give you a straight answer? That's hard if she doesn't know how to communicate. I understand your confusion. If you talk to her again, don't bring your child into it, just straight out tell her how you feel and that you need her to respond to you so that you know wether to move on or not...Thats the only thing I can think of... Sorry your going thru that.

    • So I took a huge chance and called her. she didn't call back but responded in a text saying " I haven't given up, but I don't know how we would move forward after all that happened". now I have no clue what to think or what to say?


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What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like she's having a personal crisis and maybe she's worried about security because of losing her job (and you losing yours). She probably needs some time to think, but if you go dating while she's doing that, it may hurt her more than you think. I think it's okay for you to go out and meet people and flirt, but if you still want a chance with her, I wouldn't look for someone new for at least a month (a month from now, not from when she left) to give her some time to clear her head.

  • I think you moved in a bit too soon. Ideal is to wait a year. Stress is really hard on a relationship and she really should've talked to you before leaving. Break ups take time to get through and it sounds like she hasn't had time to figure out what she really wants yet. Sounds like she needs some space to figure out what she wants. I'd let her know that you're still there and to contact you when she's ready to talk. If you want her back, you can't just blow her off. Causing drama isn't going to help.

  • don't play games if you really love someone how is it so easy to move on and date.. if she si the one go get her and be honest.. life is way to short for drama..

    • I have, but she gave me mixed signals and kept saying she was scared. It's like I got the feeling she wasn't interested but just trying not to hurt me anymore.

    • Did you ask her straight up how she felt? I think you should get the answers you need and tell her you want to try to make this work.. if she does not then you will know make sure your nice and honest with her.. kind of think of if your daughter was in this postions what would you do... I have a son so I do the same and it helps..

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